Zahra Baker's Biological Mother

[Brattigirle]

About whether or not Zahra called EB mum or not, let me just say from experience that stepmothers sometimes have their ways to get young girls to call them mom even when they don't want to. I was threatened as I am sure Zahra was, appearance means a lot to these women who want others to think they are doing such great things for these children.

 

[Brattigirle]

Wow....
Firstly, I am so sorry for this bio mom.
I work with many 'birth parents' who may not be able to raise a child for many reasons-or at least at the time their children wind up 'in care' (foster). This doesn't mean the mom doesn't love the child. Very often it takes a great deal of courage and personal sacrifice to admit you aren't in a position to be a full time parent to a child. Those that do their best to make sure their child is with a responsible party-my hat is off to them.

I beleive that Zahra's mom did her best. PPD is overwhelming, and painful. I'm sure she felt that Zahra was in responsible good hands with family. AB's mom and AB...they were Family.
That AB summarily discounted this woman is so painful, but not unexpected. Very often when relationships end badly, the with-holding of children is a part of the war game they play. It's not fair, and in this case, is cruel and tragic.

I want Emily to know that I, for one, believe she did her very best, and think she's a good person. May the Powers that be comfort and protect you, Emily. You didn't deserve this, and neither did your daughter. And she was your daughter.


Fyre

A simple thank you for posting this, didn't seem like enough.
AMEN God Bless Emily.

 

[Brattigirle]

Aaaargh! Sorry, my last posting was in response to bellyup's posting #131. I'm totally new at this, and just got so mad. Apologies...

Welcome Aboard.

 

[SmoothOperator]

I didn't find it creepy sarx..but it left no doubt that she is Zahra's bio-mum..

Thank you, pondering mind for replying this above statement... I think many of us are in agreement 100% that after witnessing with our very own eyes that YES, INDEED AND WITHOUT A DOUBT THIS IS ZAHRA'S BIOLOGICAL "MUM"

I come away from these interviews that this is not only 100% Zahra's biological "mum" but that this woman is in a tremendous amount of pain and it is heartwrenchingly apparent that this poor "mum" attempted on many and all levels to reconnect with this child whom we all know that is now most likely deceased. For more than one reason and at the hands of more than one person this precious little girl has been intentionally kept from reconnecting with her very own flesh and blood whom is this child's very own mother..

I do have my own opinions as to whom I find responsible for this most reprehensible of acts that has eventually led to the death of this precious child AND IT IS IMO THAT IT DOES INDEED INVOLVE MORE THAN JUST ELISA BAKER, MORE THAN JUST ADAM BAKER AND IN TIME EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE ADULT HUMAN BEINGS THAT FAILED ZAHRA IN MORE WAYS THAN JUST WHAT IS APPARENT AT THIS TIME... IN TIME THE BLOOD OF THIS PRECIOUS CHILD WILL BE ON EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE ADULTS OF WHOM I SPEAKS HANDS AND I HAVE COMPLETE AND TOTAL FAITH THAT OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM WILL SEE TO IT TO BRING THIS BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL WHOM'S LIFE WAS CUT WAY TOO SHORT THE JUSTICE ON HER BEHALF THAT IN LIFE THOSE WHOM WERE THERE TO LOVE AND PROTECT HER FAILED TO DO ON EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY ONE OF THOSE LEVELS..

May God have mercy on those of you whom have Zahra's blood on their hands...For there is a pit in the darkest, hottest depths of hell that undoubtedly burns even hotter for those who have taken part in this precious child of God's, Zahra Claire Baker's demise.:furious:

 

[enzeder]

Video: Zahra's birth mother: "I feel broken"
http://www.wcnc.com/video?id=106754533&sec=731773

 

[enzeder]

Video: Zahra's birth mother: "I feel broken"
http://www.wcnc.com/video?id=106754533&sec=731773

 

[enzeder]

Video: Zahra's birth mother: "I feel broken"
http://www.wcnc.com/video?id=106754533&sec=731773

 

[2goldfish]

Video: Zahra's birth mother: "I feel broken"
http://www.wcnc.com/video?id=106754533&sec=731773

with respect to posters who see resemblance between EB and ED...I just dont see it. maybe you guys have seen hmmm, how shall I say it, better pics of EB than I have (I got the 80 year old looking jowly looking ones in my mind's eye) but aside from having a similar hair colour I just dont see it.

I do see resemblance of ED and zahra though.

 

[rbrnmw2]

My ex married a woman who looked just like me so I started bleaching my hair

I have 5 kids my 19 year daughter was given to her dad when I was pregnant and hospitalized the night before the hearing I was on bedrest and they refused a continuous I didn't even have an attorney I was told I didn't need one it was mediation He moved my daughter and she was told I didn't want her when I finally found them I would show up for my visitations and they wouldn't be there I hired an attorney but he still wouldn't comply I don't know how many tears I cried but I am sure if I could count them it would be in the millions. She now knows the truth and I never get tired of telling her how much she means to me It is so sad that Zahra will not ever hear Emily's side of the story. This hits so close to home. I just feel so Angry that Emily is being condemned I have walked in similar shoes chasing down an ex.

****MOO****
I want to add that any woman who has been in a DV Shelter will tell you, how common it is for an abuser to get custody of the child/children. I know several women who had evident signs of abuse backed by pictures, even letters with threats in some cases, only to leave the courtroom w/o their children. I think we need to do something to raise awareness of this quite common occurrence, so that the next Zahra has a fighting chance!

 

[Canadian4]

Adam WAS a good looking guy. He seems to have aged 20 years since that photo. Emily looks like Zahras twin. How badly it all went down since that time.

 

[Mrs G Norris]

I cannot get over the change in Adam in the last 10 years!

And I just know Emily would have been a lovely mother for Zahra! Just when you think this case can't hurt anymore. And I think she is right, I think Zahra did find her to unearth what had happened. How could they claim to love Zahra but keep her from Emily like this? She needed her mother, she needed her when she was little, she needed her when she got sick, she needed her when she lost her leg to bone cancer, she needed her when she lost part of her hearing, and she certainly needed her when Elesa Baker entered her tragic little life. She also needed her because a girl needs a mum, and because she needed to have dear Emily in her life.

Adam's appearance has changed so dramatically because the cruelty he has inflicted on Emily and Zahra is written all over his face.

The heart knows. IMO.

 

[BritsKate]

****MOO****
I want to add that any woman who has been in a DV Shelter will tell you, how common it is for an abuser to get custody of the child/children. I know several women who had evident signs of abuse backed by pictures, even letters with threats in some cases, only to leave the courtroom w/o their children. I think we need to do something to raise awareness of this quite common occurrence, so that the next Zahra has a fighting chance!

Sorry, slightly O/T -

There's an article by Lundy Bancroft about the methods abusers use to win custody of their children. It's a really, really useful tool should anyone need it - I can say it personally helped me understand what I was going up against and empower myself.

http://www.lundybancroft.com/art_custody_visitation.html

 

[Eileen730]

Wow....
Firstly, I am so sorry for this bio mom.
I work with many 'birth parents' who may not be able to raise a child for many reasons-or at least at the time their children wind up 'in care' (foster). This doesn't mean the mom doesn't love the child. Very often it takes a great deal of courage and personal sacrifice to admit you aren't in a position to be a full time parent to a child. Those that do their best to make sure their child is with a responsible party-my hat is off to them.

I beleive that Zahra's mom did her best. PPD is overwhelming, and painful. I'm sure she felt that Zahra was in responsible good hands with family. AB's mom and AB...they were Family.
That AB summarily discounted this woman is so painful, but not unexpected. Very often when relationships end badly, the with-holding of children is a part of the war game they play. It's not fair, and in this case, is cruel and tragic.

I want Emily to know that I, for one, believe she did her very best, and think she's a good person. May the Powers that be comfort and protect you, Emily. You didn't deserve this, and neither did your daughter. And she was your daughter.


Fyre

I felt so bad for this woman especially when she said she had found her but she was already dead by then... did Adams mother have a hand in not letting biomom know where they were? did Adam kill Zahra so biomom couldnt have her.
I saw on TV last night that stepmom said she took a poly Did Adam Kill his Daughter? this case is just horrifying! Such a beautiful child.. None of this makes any sense if ya ask me... I dont understand why she is dead.
did they forget to feed her Did they lock her up and throw away the key?

Makes me so sad!

 

[elepher50]

Ten years comparison - wonder what those eyes have seen in that ten years:

 

[Eileen730]

Adam WAS a good looking guy. He seems to have aged 20 years since that photo. Emily looks like Zahras twin. How badly it all went down since that time.

They were a nice looking couple don't you all think? How can life get so bad that you kill your child?

 

[Eileen730]

Where is everyone? Is there another thread i cant find?

 

[Mountain_Kat]

I don't see any resemblence at all between EB and ED, but that's just me.

As for why ED may have given up Zahra, that isn't something I care to speculate on, because for my purposes, it's irrelevent. Perhaps she did have PPD, perhaps she had a drug problem, perhaps she was simply too young and immature to handle the role of mother...who knows? She clearly loved Zahra, imo...that's quite plain to me. And she seems genuinely devasted by what has happened. That's all I really NEED to know.

JMO

 

[LCoastMom]

Ten years comparison - wonder what those eyes have seen in that ten years:

Those had to have been harder ten years than most of us could ever imagine. His eyes look dead.

He lost everything, not on Oct 9/10 as EB whined in her letter - his loss began the day he invited a monster into his child's life - stunning what a nice looking couple he and ED made and what a shocking difference to look at the picture of him with EB, even 2 years ago.

While EB looks like she has possibly been doing some heavy duty drugs, I don't see that in AB - he may be spending too much time sucking down some brewski's - his changes happened more gradually - IMO he already looked like a different man when he married EB.

At some point between ED and EB - AB sold his soul to the devil. I wonder if it was worth it to him?

Where is Zahra?

 

[bellyup]

I've never posted before, but I feel very strongly on this point. Yes, you DO have an obligation to make sure a child has contact with the other biological parent, unless a court of law says otherwise. It is not up to either parent, and certainly not a grandparent, to decide that for the child. If a parent is not fit, a judge decides the visitation or lack thereof. And just for the record, I am a single mother with primary custody of one son. I don't particularly care for my son's father, but it is his inherent right to see his son, and although he was an illegal from Australia at the time of our son's birth, it was not my place to deny my son his father whether I liked him or not!

Apparently you've worked with judges, a court system and an ex biparent that is reasonable.

Get back to me when a judge court orders your infant (breast fed daughter) to spend weekends in her fathers apartment when he's high as a kite and smoking in front of her with guns laying on the table. (Oh, and likely high when he drove her there too). AND you have photos and witnesses to prove it.

Nope. No obligation. He has no rights IMO. Don't really care what the judge said ... I didn't and wouldn't send her.

 

[DLT88]

So I am wondering if it's possible to get those things sent to Emily. The family here may not appreciate them but I think she would. She seemed to really treasure the few items shown in the video of her interview. I can only imagine how wonderful for her to have Z's clothes to hold and smell. And have a painting she possibly painted, if that's what it is. I think she deserves it. I fear what will happen to them otherwise.

I think that would be a great idea for Emily to be offered Zahra's clothes. Mothers in mourning love to hold those last items their child wore, and smell their scent through the fabric. It might be so healing to Emily. But how could we make this happen? Anyone in NC available to contact the landlord and offer to take Z's clothes to send to Emily?