April 22 weekend of Sleuthiness

[Cheyenne130]

I agree with a lot of what you're saying. Marriage should be a partnership. But Alice did ask BC during the deposition what his portion of the income leftover was. BC stated (so, I know some of you will discount it), is that after ALL the bills were paid, NC got 90% of what was left over. Out of that 1,200 a month she paid gas and groceries and whatever was left over was for her. So, he got 10% of the leftovers after the bill, because he had less groceries to buy, and perhaps less gas?

I think you can argue they both spent freely before they went on a budget. But it would be unfair to argue that he continued to spend freely after NC went on a budget. Then again, we haven't been privy to any financial records in this case yet. I hope this makes sense.

In addition he still had use of a credit card. That bill would be part of the money needed before figuring out the 90% so technically he had a lot more than 10% of the money left over after bills. MOO

 

[dramamama]

Oh, and does anyone know why NC had two passports for herself? Was that ever explained at some point and I missed it?

 

[WolfpackWoman]

In addition he still had use of a credit card. That bill would be part of the money needed before figuring out the 90% so technically he had a lot more than 10% of the money left over after bills. MOO

I think that's a good point. I was trying to figure in here how he paid for things like the $600 suit for Nancy. I think they both put things on the credit card that were above and beyond their 90%, 10% split. I just think to speculate at this point is kind of useless, because we don't know what their arrangement was. The bottom line is--Nancy didn't think it was fair. We don't know whether objectively it was fair or not. We just know (through her friends) how she perceived it. Whether or not the jurors will identify with that, is a different story.

 

[Danielle59]

If one has ever been in an abusive relationship, or knows about that, the abused is placed in a position of always questioning if she ( or he, but usually she) is good enough. Accused of making up stories and embellishing the truth. It is wearing to say the least.
Who knows why she did not leave earlier? Likely because of the children.

Abused women don't taunt their so called abuser in public.

 

[dramamama]

Abused women don't taunt their so called abuser in public.

That's not true. In fact, they are more likely to appear like the irrational party to outside sources, because she does act "crazy" sometimes. They do it in public because it is safe. It isn't safe to be that way at home. With witnesses present is usually the only time she can blow off steam and let him know what she really thinks/feels. And abusers don't have anger issues, they have attitude issues. They will rarely do anything to show their true colors in public.

 

[LyndyLoo]

Well said! And I think it becomes a real problem when the amount of $300 per week is debated as the issue in itself. When you take the allowance and add it to the entire picture: water turned off, coincidentally, she is cut off from all credit cards and bank accounts simultaneously without foreknowledge, he takes her cell phone away for a day or two, takes passports, doesn't comply with getting her a greeen card so she can work, won't leave the house, won't let her leave, continues to spy on her and what she does....That is what makes the situation problematic. Yes, these things do happen in divorces. And i guess the lesson to be learned, if there is any, is that none of that should be more important than your peace of mind.

People have said she could have left, and I think she was planning on it. But when emotions get high, and the focus is on irrational behavior, it is hard to think clearly. I am sure on a day to day basis, she was so obsessed with being angry that she had little time to be practical and just do something. I think by her actions, she was perhaps realizing this, and getting to that point where she was going to do something.....she just ran out or time.

BBM~ with respect> to address

Of course she could have left, however 2 things held her back and it was her two girls and following the advise of her attny (AS). After watching AS on the stand and seeing her body language and facial expressions....she REGRETS that advice very much :-(

I do not envy the job of Family Lawyers...the see the worst side of people both sides, and have their hands full in trying to keep things fair for both side. Yikes..look what happened to that Judge in Nevada (Reno) getting shot!! nver mind what the same guy did to his wife!!
One side or the other always feels hard done by and its always the children caught in the middle who suffer :maddening:

 

[dramamama]

BBM~ with respect> to address

Of course she could have left, however 2 things held her back and it was her two girls and following the advise of her attny (AS). After watching AS on the stand and seeing her body language and facial expressions....she REGRETS that advise very much :-(

I do not envy the job of Family Lawyers...the see the worst side of people both sides, and have their hands full in trying to keep things fair for both side. Yikes..look what happened to that Judge in Nevada (Reno) getting shot!! nver mind what the same guy did to his wife!!
One side or the other always feels hard done by and its always the children caught in the middle who suffer :maddening:

you really could see her regret. and she did an excellent job in that dep interview.

"Do you have a problem with your memory?" Priceless!

 

[cody100]

Abused women don't taunt their so called abuser in public.

IMO taunting your abuser (if there is abuse) is not only foolish but not consistent with being abused. It is more consistent of a very irate person who forgot that private matters should remain just that. I would think her remarks embarrased BC as it probably would anyone. AGAIN, for the record, these are my opinions and not fact.

 

[Bottle Cap]

Abused women don't taunt their so called abuser in public.

If the abusive behavior began in April, seems logical she'd have been furious that he changed all the rules up seemingly overnight, with no input from her - while going around saying he was "working on" his marriage. What he was working on was preventing her from leaving, and costing him a whole lot more than $300 a week. If previously he'd been neglectful and morphed into being abusive, she'd not have had the years of training it takes to become one of those stereotypical abused women. She was feisty and rebelled against being treated that way. There are women who have lived their whole married lives like she did the last few months of her life. I don't know as acceptance of her fate had time to set in. If it had, she might still be alive.

Taunting abusers is what makes them violent, by the way.

 

[SleuthSayer]

I had 3 rules for my daughters when they were getting married:
1. You may not marry anyone with the last name "Peterson"
2. You may not move to North Carolina
3. You may not honeymoon in Aruba

So far, so good!

You forgot the Wayne Lee Ray Theory! You should have told them to never marry a man with a middle name of Wayne, Lee, or Ray. A disproportionate number of criminals (particularly serial killers) seem to have one of those middle names.

 

[wuffin]

IMO taunting your abuser (if there is abuse) is not only foolish but not consistent with being abused. It is more consistent of a very irate person who forgot that private matters should remain just that. I would think her remarks embarrased BC as it probably would anyone. AGAIN, for the record, these are my opinions and not fact.

In addition, IMO a truly abused woman would not taunt her abuser in public because she would fear the consequences once they return home to the privacy of their own home.

There certainly were issues in this marriage, but BC was not an physical abuser. However, I do see signs that NC was perhaps emotionally abusive towards BC.

 

[NCEast]

You forgot the Wayne Lee Ray Theory! You should have told them to never marry a man with a middle name of Wayne, Lee, or Ray. A disproportionate number of criminals (particularly serial killers) seem to have one of those middle names.

Doggone, isn't that the truth! Several years ago when I was participating on a forum about the M. Peterson case, somebody made a list of the national serial killers with those names. It was awesome, in a bad way.

 

[SleuthSayer]

Here's my take on the red and black sports bra, FWIW. If you'll recall cross on Det. Daniels (I'm not going to hunt for it now) it was pointed out, that in his notes, BC said red and black (or I remember black and grey mentioned as well) sports bra. Then in the notes he said something like maybe blue, maybe white (or striped or something...) I don't remember exactly what other colors followed, but there was more. BC went on to state that Nancy often just grabbed something from the laundry room. I'm thinking that by the time the body was found, he could have looked through her clothes and known she was wearing the red/black bra by process of elimination.

He also didn't just stop talking after stating that she was wearing a red and black sports bra after her body was found. He said other things--asked if they were sure it was her (IIRC), etc. The original testimony gave the impression that he just said she was wearing a red and black sports bra and then stopped talking, which is not what happened.
MOO

You do realize that you are getting very close to being labeled the official Websleuths Bra Expert, right? eace:

 

[unc70]

Ah, but of course if you really knew some inside information, you would say that you don't know inside information. And, you know that we know that if you had inside information you wouldn't come back, so you came back so that we won't know that you know what we don't know. :hand:

"Truly, you have a dizzying intellect."

Vizzini?

 

[unc70]

You aren't from this area, are you? No missing joggers unaccounted for, no murdered women unaccounted for, and most of them were killed by their husbands. From Kathleen Peterson and the cello lady from Durham to Janet Arbora and Michelle Young. The only one that appears to be random is the pregnant paper lady. USA Today delivery girl.

As I posted around 10:30 in this thread, there have been a few others over the years in the Triangle.

 

[lib's mom]

You forgot the Wayne Lee Ray Theory! You should have told them to never marry a man with a middle name of Wayne, Lee, or Ray. A disproportionate number of criminals (particularly serial killers) seem to have one of those middle names.

Haha! One of my persoal favorite rules! I *always* ask middle names!

 

[Danielle59]

Okay, before I go to bed, here's the other part of cross I found relevant.

Kurtz began asking about router logs...
K-FBI never asked for router logs. Is it true that dropping a file from an internal hard drive can result in an invalid timestamp?
C-It's possible.
K-You are aware of a lot of activity on port 445? C-Yes. K-Port 445 is for file sharing. All activity was denied, wasn't it? According to the CSA log?
The fact that attempts from an internal address were denied --couldn't that mean that someone made it into the network?
C-Give me the date.
K-July 15. 3 attempts in a row. What could this mean? That someone made it into the network?
C-Yes, but it could be benign.
K-When did you look at the CSA log?
C-Last night.
K-Why didn't you look at the CSA log before last night?
C-This is not the only case I was working on.

(Me--??????)

2.5 years since the case started and one of the lead witnesses only looked at evidence the night before and made a determination on it? Evidence that will not be shared with the defense for examination under the guise of National Security? Something is not right.

 

[LyndyLoo]

IMO taunting your abuser (if there is abuse) is not only foolish but not consistent with being abused. It is more consistent of a very irate person who forgot that private matters should remain just that. I would think her remarks embarrased BC as it probably would anyone. AGAIN, for the record, these are my opinions and not fact.

In addition, IMO a truly abused woman would not taunt her abuser in public because she would fear the consequences once they return home to the privacy of their own home.

There certainly were issues in this marriage, but BC was not an physical abuser. However, I do see signs that NC was perhaps emotionally abusive towards BC.

From my experience of helping those physically abused by their partner..and that includes both male and female...Mental abuse is not in the same ballpark for the "Abused" or the "Abuser" for that matter..Watching the dynamics between those two parties (incuding children) was entirely different from my experience. I dont believe so much that Brad abused Nancy..at least not physically, however once he felt threatened in his little world, for either financial or control..He did exert whatever power over her that he had..and that was snooping her every activities, money, and would give a little, then take alot...Nancy reacted to that hard handedness, and only wanted to get away with her girls and move somewhere she felt in control and cared about (her family) and somewhere she could work and gain her self esteem back.. Nancy's only power was her personality and words....unlike Brad the introverted, cerebral, quiet sort...who unfortunately IMO did plan this ..

Bottomline..Physical Abuse and Mental Abuse cause their own set of scarings..and the scares left now in this case lays within the Children.

Mentally abused and Physically abused interact completely differently with their abuser in Public. The word abuse is the only common link...IMO

Man oh Man..I sure got long winded on that didnt I??..Sorry 'bout that :seeya:

 

[unc70]

Happy Easter FD. No, I suspect many of us have dreams of this trial. Hope you have a great weekend.

An Easter reminder: I recommend the hot cross buns when you make your next HT trip. I think I get some extra packs and put them in the freezer with the Moravian sugar cake.

In order to dream about this case, you first have to quit posting in the middle of the night. Many of us appear in need of an intervention, but please not until after this trial.

 

[cody100]

An Easter reminder: I recommend the hot cross buns when you make your next HT trip. I think I get some extra packs and put them in the freezer with the Moravian sugar cake.

In order to dream about this case, you first have to quit posting in the middle of the night. Many of us appear in need of an intervention, but please not until after this trial.

[/I]

I am not sure I would sleep at all if I knew those goodies were in my freezer. They would be calling to me all night. Great advice though. BTW, I have enjoyed your postings very much. Thanks for your input.