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LOL. Thanks for this. Here's my version:
Nel: Mr. Pistorius, did you have a pee this morning?
Nel: Why are you crying?
** 10 Minute Adjournment **
Nel: Mr. Pistorius, did you have a pee this morning?
Ocscar: I did my Lady. I relieved myself at 6:42 am.
Nel: YOURSELF. That's right. You relieved YOURSELF. This is all about YOU.
Oscar: Um
Nel: Um? Why did you say um?
Oscar: I, I don't know my Lady. I was confused by the question.
Nel: No no no Mr. Pistorius. You cannot get away with that. You said um. Why would you say that? My question was about whether relieving yourself was all about you. Why did you say um?
Oscar: I don't know my Lady.
Nel: Tell the court exactly what you did.
Oscar: I walked to the bathroom and I raised the lid and
Nel: You raised the lid? Mr. Pistorius you didn't say you raised the lid when you told the court a few minutes ago you relieved yourself at 6:42 am.
Oscar: I raised the lid my Lady. Otherwise there would have been piss all over the floor.
Nel: No Mr. Pistorius. You see? You are
tailoring your evidence.
Oscar: I'm not tailoring my evidence my Lady.
Roux: My lady I apologize for it the interjection, but I just wanted to say that your bun is brilliant today. One can only assume it must be there to hold your vast intellect my Lady. Sorry for the interruption my Lady. I just hadn't grovelled to you for while and I was getting anxious. Thank you my Lady.
Judge: Yes.
Nel: Mr. Pistorius, why are you tailoring your evidence?
Oscar: How can you sleep at night?
Nel: What?
Oscar: What?
Nel: Why did you say that?
Oscar: I didn't.
Nel: Mr. Pistorius you asked how I can sleep at night!
Oscar: No I didn't my Lady.
Nel: Do you walk to work or take a lunch?
Oscar: I...what?
Nel: What is the last movie you saw?
Oscar: Escape from Alcatraz
Nel: Okay, so you claim you opened the lid and then what?
Oscar: During the movie? What lid? I had some M & Ms.
Nel: You cannot get away with this Mr. Pistorius. Pretending you don't understand the question. You claimed to this court that you opened the toilet lid. What time did you open it?
Oscar: 6:42 my Lady.
Nel: No! You told this court you relieved yourself at 6:42! You are lying about relieving yourself Mr. Pistorius. Why would you do that? I put it to you that you did not relieve yourself this morning or any time since. What do you say Mr. Pisorius? Sorry, Mr. Pistorius?
Oscar: I relieved myself my Lady. As I said, I relieved myself on the balcony at 6:42.
Nel: The balcony?
Oscar: I made a mistake my Lady. I relieved myself in the toilet.
Nel: May it please the court my lady I'd like to please the court. Can we take a short adjournment, please? To please the court?
Adjourned.