The sad part is that MANY do expect us to be perfect,
In my experience its not that they don't feel compassion for the family, or that they don't feel the families are owed an explanation, ive seen hardened cops break down Ive seen guys balk approaching a door to deliver bad news.
They do fee empathy , and the families of the victims, do deserve closure .
The problem is that sometimes, they cant
Law Enforcement is a strange existence, many don't understand it till I tell them that in our field when you kiss your wife and kids goodbye before you leave for work.. you may actually mean it one day
Detectives, aren't your ordinary everyday people, they're hardened, by years on the job..
For example, take one gruesome, homicide, .. it may be a child, it may be a prostitute, it may be someone's husband....now multiply that by 10 add in there that your boss's boss is over his head, pushing him to get any one of these homicides solved, as well is the public, you're beating the public for information, but in some cases, you're dealing with the "F the police" mentality not to mention the media which can be a help or a hindrance, being careful what you say or do so as not to tip off any info you don't want leaked, yet someone over at the "daily fish wrapper" decided to put an article out stating that it could be the work of a "Serial Killer" (the en vogue term nowadays), and everyone's ears go up, and the pressure goes up exponentially, because NOW you have to try to link these cases or disprove it , all the while in your head your looking at yet another body, who sadly bears a resemblance to your own child, on your 5th day away from home, where you haven't seen your wife (or husband) or kids, and back at the precinct you have families, asking questions, 24 hours a day, leaving messages to the point your voicemail box is filled by noon . Only to have yet ANOTHER file come across your desk....
Back at home, they may be dealing with issues, as well, their child is sick, or having problems in school, their wife, struggles with them being away all the time, and the common curse of being in law enforcement.. its not like you can come home and discuss this stuff over a spaghetti dinner!
On top of that you still have bills to pay, your health suffers because of the relentless, consumption of fast food, gallons of caffeine , irregular sleep patterns, little time to exercise, lack of socialization with family and friends. hours standing, or sitting in a dark car looking at a house a "person of interest" may or may not even be in.
Not to mention the regular stress of the job itself, where you have to worry about some Dbag taking a shot at you (literally) simply because you have a badge
And on the vacation you finally do get, all you can do is run these cases through your head, while trying to enjoy tossing your kids around the pool, and that cold beer you drink becomes more of a form of relief instead of enjoyment.. Knowing FULL well that at any time your phone could ring, with info or questions about any one of those dozens of homicides.. or worse a new one
For example look at the divorce rate for Law Enforcement officers....MANY MANY law enforcement officers marriages, fail because of the nature of the beast, and often they find themselves in the arms of Nurses, or other law enforcement personnel because its very hard to find someone who understands, not only shift work, but the horrid nature, of what they do on some level
Over time some of it can be akin to bedside manner by physicians, some are more cold than others, some are more nurturing, depending on what they've been through
And after all this BTW another case just came across your desk...
