CA CA - Bob Harrod, 81, Orange County, 27 July 2009 - # 4

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1 Aug 09 (RotW) -- J: "All I know is I am glad to be away from the Media, at home with J...."

6 Aug 09 (IS) -- R: "Fontelle has not given up hope of him returning to his home and his new wife but, with all the media circus at his house surrounding his disappearance...... who knows? That could have kept him away"

8 Aug 09 (IS) -- R: "It seems the media is trying to draw him out by using the angle of Sympathy for Fontelle and also reminding him of his God, HIS money. Whatever it takes!"

13 Aug 09 (IS) -- R: "Us three daughters are absolutely stunned and disappointed that Dad could not see our concern as reporters were more interested in the new wife story versus talking to the life-long family. We were discouraged early on from allowing any more than one family member speak to media and then when F arrived, we no longer existed."

13 Aug 09 (IS) -- R: "PPD suggested that media has had so much saturation of the other story that it may be difficult to get them to show up for his family, unless we had breaking news."

14 Aug 09 (IS) -- R: "It's bad enough that his family (of up to 55 consecutive years) has been brushed aside and made invisible with the media blitz, once F arrived. WHAT IF he is waiting to hear from his daughters?"

15 Aug 09 (IS) -- R: "News media could help us contact you, but our pleas are of no interest to them, so far. Sorry Dad, we only have the realistic victim story to tell and it seems that it just won't bump their ratings enough to spark their interest, so far."

2 Aug 10 (IS)-- R: (Regarding whether Bob left the glasses he would otherwise have been wearing at home.) "So much for that idea and the media’s focus and staged filming of the glasses on the table for dramatic effect."

16 Aug 10 (IS) -- P: "Thank you for your support, we are still working this case ourselves and have been criticized for doing nothing because we don't take everything to the media."

Ok, I think that one can make a few observations on this representative sample of comments on the media. First, they show a clear antagonism towards the media. The media are disruptive (creating a circus), exhausting. The media seems able to do nothing right, as well, being alternately blamed for insufficient attention to the daughters, giving too much attention to Fontelle, giving insufficient attention to the case in general. While I understand that media attention can be stressful, I do wonder what rock people might have been living under if they do not realize that media attention/assistance is crucial to the timely resolution of a missing person's case. The media are not the enemies of the families of missing people (except, of course, when those families are suspects in the disappearance, I guess); the media are a tool that a family can use for free to get their loved one's face and circumstances of disappearance 'out there'. Why care if the media thinks that Fontelle's story might be a more compelling one than that Bob has three adult daughters? And you can't hide from the media on one hand, and blame them for not caring about your case, on the other.

All of this is JMO, but I think the daughters' antagonistic relationship to the media smacks of the attitude a guilty party might have. That is, of course, not evidence of anything in itself. But it's yet another moment in the 'walks like a duck, quacks like a duck' story unfolding here.
 
Montjoy said:
1 Aug 09 (RotW) -- J: "All I know is I am glad to be away from the Media, at home with J...."

6 Aug 09 (IS) -- R: "Fontelle has not given up hope of him returning to his home and his new wife but, with all the media circus at his house surrounding his disappearance...... who knows? That could have kept him away"

8 Aug 09 (IS) -- R: "It seems the media is trying to draw him out by using the angle of Sympathy for Fontelle and also reminding him of his God, HIS money. Whatever it takes!"

13 Aug 09 (IS) -- R: "Us three daughters are absolutely stunned and disappointed that Dad could not see our concern as reporters were more interested in the new wife story versus talking to the life-long family. We were discouraged early on from allowing any more than one family member speak to media and then when F arrived, we no longer existed."

13 Aug 09 (IS) -- R: "PPD suggested that media has had so much saturation of the other story that it may be difficult to get them to show up for his family, unless we had breaking news."

14 Aug 09 (IS) -- R: "It's bad enough that his family (of up to 55 consecutive years) has been brushed aside and made invisible with the media blitz, once F arrived. WHAT IF he is waiting to hear from his daughters?"

15 Aug 09 (IS) -- R: "News media could help us contact you, but our pleas are of no interest to them, so far. Sorry Dad, we only have the realistic victim story to tell and it seems that it just won't bump their ratings enough to spark their interest, so far."

2 Aug 10 (IS)-- R: (Regarding whether Bob left the glasses he would otherwise have been wearing at home.) "So much for that idea and the media’s focus and staged filming of the glasses on the table for dramatic effect."

16 Aug 10 (IS) -- P: "Thank you for your support, we are still working this case ourselves and have been criticized for doing nothing because we don't take everything to the media."

Ok, I think that one can make a few observations on this representative sample of comments on the media. First, they show a clear antagonism towards the media. The media are disruptive (creating a circus), exhausting. The media seems able to do nothing right, as well, being alternately blamed for insufficient attention to the daughters, giving too much attention to Fontelle, giving insufficient attention to the case in general. While I understand that media attention can be stressful, I do wonder what rock people might have been living under if they do not realize that media attention/assistance is crucial to the timely resolution of a missing person's case. The media are not the enemies of the families of missing people (except, of course, when those families are suspects in the disappearance, I guess); the media are a tool that a family can use for free to get their loved one's face and circumstances of disappearance 'out there'. Why care if the media thinks that Fontelle's story might be a more compelling one than that Bob has three adult daughters? And you can't hide from the media on one hand, and blame them for not caring about your case, on the other.

All of this is JMO, but I think the daughters' antagonistic relationship to the media smacks of the attitude a guilty party might have. That is, of course, not evidence of anything in itself. But it's yet another moment in the 'walks like a duck, quacks like a duck' story unfolding here.
Click to expand...

I would have been very antagonistic of the media/newspaper stories. They were dwelling on a love story. They interviewed Fontelle and she barely knew Robert. She hardly knew him as a young girl and barely got to know him when they were re-acquainted 60 years later...IMO it would have been fair to give the daughters the same considerations.
 
DollyPardonMe said:
I would have been very antagonistic of the media/newspaper stories. They were dwelling on a love story. They interviewed Fontelle and she barely knew Robert. She hardly knew him as a young girl and barely got to know him when they were re-acquainted 60 years later...IMO it would have been fair to give the daughters the same considerations.
Click to expand...

Thing is, the 'story' wasn't about the daughters, or Fontelle, it was about Bob. The media made a call about what they figured was the angle that would interest people. It wasn't exclusively about Fontelle, either. The daughters should have gotten over themselves and been grateful that their dad's story was getting attention. The media had no obligation to give them any, at all.
 
Montjoy said:
Thing is, the 'story' wasn't about the daughters, or Fontelle, it was about Bob. The media made a call about what they figured was the angle that would interest people. It wasn't exclusively about Fontelle, either. The daughters should have gotten over themselves and been grateful that their dad's story was getting attention. The media had no obligation to give them any, at all.
Click to expand...

The story should have been all about Bob, a man whose wife had not realistically had enough time to get to know.
The daughters, on the other hand, knew him quite well.
I do not believe his family members were about getting attention for themselves at all.
I believe they wanted media to take interest in their father, a man who lived for 81 whole years, rather than just the last month of his life.

That is the point.
IMHO
 
ShowMe said:
The daughters, on the other hand, knew him quite well.
Click to expand...

Do you think the portrait that his daughters have painted of him would make anyone more interested in his case than the love story with Fontelle would? The thing is, the daughters *did* choose to talk about their dad -- on the internet. Selfish, having money as his god, having dementia, having cold feet, having a secret life that he was ashamed of, not spending enough money to assist and comfort his ailing wife (and spending that "blood money" -- R's words -- on his barber). They've also expended a great deal of energy directing investigators to people who end up being cleared, or on theories that prove utterly implausible.

The attention given to Fontelle after Bob's disappearance was there because it made it a story to strangers -- it made it more engaging and memorable. It made someone the public was a little more interested in finding; they might hope the romance would continue to blossom. The public would be less engaged in reuniting a father with daughters who speak ill of him when he is not around to respond.
 
ShowMe said:
The story should have been all about Bob, a man whose wife had not realistically had enough time to get to know.
The daughters, on the other hand, knew him quite well.
I do not believe his family members were about getting attention for themselves at all.
I believe they wanted media to take interest in their father, a man who lived for 81 whole years, rather than just the last month of his life.

That is the point.
IMHO
Click to expand...



"R says she is reluctant to talk to the media because she's been unfairly represented. But, she says, she is determined to find out what happened to her father.

"We feel helpless," she says. "We really wish someone would come up with a lead so we could get some answers about what happened to our dad and bring him home if he's out there."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"JM and JM, contacted through RB, would not comment for this story."


ShowMe....the daughters have had plenty of chances to talk to the media, they declined. Instead they went on internet forums and posted horrible things about their father, the hairdresser and Fontelle.

How do we know the daughters knew him quite well? I tend to believe Fontelle's observations are more realistic than the daughters.


http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2010985815_disappeared08.html

http://www.ocregister.com/news/-214111--.html?pic=12#article-read
 
ShowMe said:
The story should have been all about Bob, a man whose wife had not realistically had enough time to get to know.
The daughters, on the other hand, knew him quite well.
I do not believe his family members were about getting attention for themselves at all.
I believe they wanted media to take interest in their father, a man who lived for 81 whole years, rather than just the last month of his life.

That is the point.
IMHO
Click to expand...

Actually, fwiw, any publicity in a missing persons case is gold. It is akin to the lottery. It doesnt matter if it is about the bushes in front of his house-the fact that his name is out there and that there is substantial media is spectacular. We need more. It needs to be even more recognized nationally. Because that is what brings in those little tips that turn things around; that is what causes someone who may be close to the case to be willing to do the right thing and stand up for this 81 year old man who could not have possibly deserved whatever happened to him.
 
Fairy1 said:
Great to "see" you Fran! I thank you for sharing your POV. Oftentimes, when following these cases, I wonder if I could truly account for every hour, in detail, of my day. Most days, I couldn't even tell you what I had for lunch yesterday! I can only hope that, if someone in my life went missing, I would have better recall than I normally do!

Do we really know if the family has cleared up the finer points of the timeline with LE? I'm not sure the public is privvy to that info.

I, too, would be out looking for a family member. Or even a total stranger, if possible.
Click to expand...

For those of you who do not know Fairy1 on the boards well, a truer statement has never been written. Picture a stylish woman in designer shoes beating the bushes to find strangers, much less a loved one.
 
DollyPardonMe said:
I would have been very antagonistic of the media/newspaper stories. They were dwelling on a love story. They interviewed Fontelle and she barely knew Robert. She hardly knew him as a young girl and barely got to know him when they were re-acquainted 60 years later...IMO it would have been fair to give the daughters the same considerations.
Click to expand...

DPM, I respect you. But I dont believe this for a hot second-you would have been shouting from the roof tops to bring any kind of attention to a case where someone was as fragile physically as this man. Who cares what the focus of the story is as long as it includes salient details about the case? Who cares, respectfully, as long as it prevents this case from going cold?

JMVHO.
 
ShowMe said:
The story should have been all about Bob, a man whose wife had not realistically had enough time to get to know.
The daughters, on the other hand, knew him quite well.
I do not believe his family members were about getting attention for themselves at all.
I believe they wanted media to take interest in their father, a man who lived for 81 whole years, rather than just the last month of his life.

That is the point.
IMHO
Click to expand...

BBM~

Yes but it was the events in the last month of Mr. Harrod's life that led to his disappearance, don't you think?
 
Montjoy said:
Do you think the portrait that his daughters have painted of him would make anyone more interested in his case than the love story with Fontelle would? The thing is, the daughters *did* choose to talk about their dad -- on the internet. Selfish, having money as his god, having dementia, having cold feet, having a secret life that he was ashamed of, not spending enough money to assist and comfort his ailing wife (and spending that "blood money" -- R's words -- on his barber). They've also expended a great deal of energy directing investigators to people who end up being cleared, or on theories that prove utterly implausible.

The attention given to Fontelle after Bob's disappearance was there because it made it a story to strangers -- it made it more engaging and memorable. It made someone the public was a little more interested in finding; they might hope the romance would continue to blossom. The public would be less engaged in reuniting a father with daughters who speak ill of him when he is not around to respond.
Click to expand...

Although I didn't save the threads that were deleted from IS, I clearly recall the context of those threads.
IMHO The daughters did not begin posting ill of their father at first, quite the contrary. The tone of their posts changed over time and in response to comments posted by others and their bewilderment over the curious behavior of their father's new wife, essentially a stranger to them.

Almost everything posted, ignored the total context of those early postings that were deleted, instead the chose to focus only on the negative responses that evolved over time and inadequate time line information.
I'm sure the context of the early posts wasn't sensational enough for some to save and obsess over.
My recollection of ALL of what was posted but deleted is what MHO is formed on, nothing less.
But then again, hopefully the police have much more information at their disposal than what is posted based on limited media accounts alone.

Hopefully the investigation continues and absolutely no stone is left unturned to solve this mystery and find out the truth about what happened to Bob and bring the person(s) responsible to the justice he/she/they deserve.
 
ShowMe said:
Although I didn't save the threads that were deleted from IS, I clearly recall the context of those threads.
IMHO The daughters did not begin posting ill of their father at first, quite the contrary. The tone of their posts changed over time and in response to comments posted by others and their bewilderment over the curious behavior of their father's new wife, essentially a stranger to them.

Almost everything posted ignored the total context of those early postings that were deleted, instead the chose to focus only on the negative responses that evolved over time and inadequate time line information.

My recollection of ALL of what was posted but deleted is what MHO is formed on, nothing less.
But then again, hopefully the police have much more information at their disposal than what is posted based on limited media accounts alone.

Hopefully the investigation continues and absolutely no stone is left unturned to solve this mystery and find out the truth about what happened to Bob and bring the person(s) responsible to the justice he/she/they deserve.
Click to expand...


I am certain we can recreate what was deleted. Let me work on it and get it posted as a file. We are all here for the same thing-finding Bob. No one here has an agenda so no one would be incented to doctor or alter the content of the threads. It is what it is-from the posts on ROTW to the now closed two threads at IS. However, I would absolutely expect that there would be claims that the info was doctored in some fashion..I cannot speak for IS, but here at WS when we pull a thread, it goes into a vault for safekeeping. Things, like individual posts, might disappear from view but they do not ever go poof because we are not editors and you are responsible as a poster for what you say. It is available to be resurrected at any appropriate time. I suspect the same is true of IS because that is how all of this works.
 
I am a little confused as to how Fontelle's presence would cause the daughters to post accusations regarding their father on the WWW. You know what, and I have a certain level of experience, this is not how the family of a missing person behaves. Even when they are angry at the person who disappeared. Virtually every step these women have taken, as it has been reported and documented by their own words, is nothing short of bizarre. That is as blunt as I can be.

There is no handbook when people go missing-HOWEVER, there are certain behaviors that are consistent. At the end of the day, you cannot make something credible if you do not feel it in your heart-I hope, hope, hope that fidelity overrules self protection someday and someone, anyone will step forward and put the pieces of the puzzle together.
 
Angelo said:
BBM~

Yes but it was the events in the last month of Mr. Harrod's life that led to his disappearance, don't you think?
Click to expand...

I think this is a fair statement from the outside looking in. At the end of the day, LE has stated firmly that this was no stranger abduction. The only people that have had the finger pointed at them outside of this family have cleared themselves via LDT or clear documentation. No matter how much you wish it to be true, 2+2 does NOT equal 5.
 
Sorry for all of the back to back posts-the producer I have been referencing and I spoke at length yesterday. There is clear interest-the good news is that this will give everyone from Fontelle to the daughters to grandsome to SIL the opportunity to participate in drawing attention to this case.

:) Pretty cool I have to say...and it is never too late to make up for lost time.
 
believe09 said:
Sorry for all of the back to back posts-the producer I have been referencing and I spoke at length yesterday. There is clear interest-the good news is that this will give everyone from Fontelle to the daughters to grandsome to SIL the opportunity to participate in drawing attention to this case.

:) Pretty cool I have to say...and it is never too late to make up for lost time.
Click to expand...

That is the best news Ive heard in a long time!!!! :woohoo:
 
believe09 said:
Sorry for all of the back to back posts-the producer I have been referencing and I spoke at length yesterday. There is clear interest-the good news is that this will give everyone from Fontelle to the daughters to grandsome to SIL the opportunity to participate in drawing attention to this case.

:) Pretty cool I have to say...and it is never too late to make up for lost time.
Click to expand...


Excellent!! :woohoo:
 
believe09 said:
I am certain we can recreate what was deleted. Let me work on it and get it posted as a file. We are all here for the same thing-finding Bob. No one here has an agenda so no one would be incented to doctor or alter the content of the threads. It is what it is-from the posts on ROTW to the now closed two threads at IS. However, I would absolutely expect that there would be claims that the info was doctored in some fashion..I cannot speak for IS, but here at WS when we pull a thread, it goes into a vault for safekeeping. Things, like individual posts, might disappear from view but they do not ever go poof because we are not editors and you are responsible as a poster for what you say. It is available to be resurrected at any appropriate time. I suspect the same is true of IS because that is how all of this works.
Click to expand...

FWIW, IS has the same software as WS IIRC. Nothing goes away. It may be removed from view, but it is still there. In kind of like a vault as you described believe.
 
Great cubby-then it will make it infinitely easier to "verify" or validate the information we have accumulated via screen shot etc...
 
believe09 said:
I am a little confused as to how Fontelle's presence would cause the daughters to post accusations regarding their father on the WWW. You know what, and I have a certain level of experience, this is not how the family of a missing person behaves. Even when they are angry at the person who disappeared. Virtually every step these women have taken, as it has been reported and documented by their own words, is nothing short of bizarre. That is as blunt as I can be.

There is no handbook when people go missing-HOWEVER, there are certain behaviors that are consistent. At the end of the day, you cannot make something credible if you do not feel it in your heart-I hope, hope, hope that fidelity overrules self protection someday and someone, anyone will step forward and put the pieces of the puzzle together.
Click to expand...


I could not agree more! I could say more, but I'm not a psychiatrist or a behavioralist and I don't think my additional thoughts are relevent to the case, so I'll refrain.

(though human behavior does fascinate me! )
 
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