NC - Skyler Wilson Died of Hypoxic Brain Injury From “Swaddling” by Adoptive Parents Joseph & Jodi Wilson - Mount Airy

[iamshadow21]

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This is what my parents had when I was a child. My Dad would put my sister and I in it, and walk 'round town pulling us behind. The grocery store where we would get a cookie, the drug store, the local coffee shop to gossip about all kinds of stuff.
Then we bought one for our kids, and it almost identical, although I wasn't sure it was tough enough to last...but it's still here. It's worn out from being left out in the yard in the weather, and if I get any grands I'll buy another -probably the same one.

But it worries me Skyler may have been restrained in it or even just considered it his bed. It's too small, and too uncomfortable to even sit in for long.

It makes me wonder if the family bankrupted themselves adopting, and then couldn't afford to take care of the kids when the fostering money stopped coming in?

I don't think it was about money, I think it was about putting these babies to bed in what amounted to a cage. And I think the 'wagon' came after adoption, because as bad as the social work side of things is, I don't think Skyler and his brother would be fostered with a family who didn't have beds to put them in. There would have been home checks.

MOO

 

[UrsulaWrenn]

And don't give me the argument that (hypothetical) "...You don't know what those boys were like when having a tantrum, etc.....".
All the Wilsons had to do was to contact a social worker and say that they (the Wilsons) were at their breaking point and could no longer care for them.
No social worker or DCFS worker is going to say something like , "Not our problem, do whatever you need to do."
Emergency placements are available.

Yes; but that brings us full circle. The parents thought they were doing the right thing, and that if they put them back into foster care they might be mistreated by some other family!

The root problem here, IMO, is cognitive dissonance and delusion.

I don't think it was about money, I think it was about putting these babies to bed in what amounted to a cage. And I think the 'wagon' came after adoption, because as bad as the social work side of things is, I don't think Skyler and his brother would be fostered with a family who didn't have beds to put them in. There would have been home checks.

That's true. If the social workers did their due diligence they inspected the home at least once before the adoption. I want to believe they always do that...but...do they, really?

 

[forthelost]

Just as a note, there is another case where the child died after being forced to consume water.

In another case I remember where the child didn't die, he had to sleep on one of those plastic sleds because he wet the bed (the AT belief system says that "RAD" kids who do this are doing it purposefully to spite the mother).

 

[Sabex]

I am the parent of an autistic child and hearing this sort of thing makes me so angry I could smash something.

These "therapies" are the thinnest of veils for what is really going on - child abuse, plain and simple.

Poor little dude.

 

[Ksprincess2]

In response to the question about them struggling financially after adopting, they adoption would have been free since they were adopted through foster care. They also would have gotten a monthly adoption subsidy for any child adopted through foster care. Adopted foster kids usually qualify for medicaid until adulthood as well as free college. These things are too encourage adoptions and provide for things like extra therapies that adoptive children might need.

 

[ChatteringBirds]

Perhaps they did have financial problems, hence the appeal of fostering/adopting children who came with subsidies. JMO.

 

[UrsulaWrenn]

Just as a note, there is another case where the child died after being forced to consume water.

In another case I remember where the child didn't die, he had to sleep on one of those plastic sleds because he wet the bed (the AT belief system says that "RAD" kids who do this are doing it purposefully to spite the mother).

Both of those stories are just heartbreaking.

I realized a few things last night about these kinds of abuses:

1) The perpetrators are apparently not guilty of the classic abuses. I mean, the typical slapping, hitting, and kicking one instantly recognizes as child abuse. I think the novelty of forcing a child to drink too much water slips under the radar. They see themselves as struggling to get control, without realizing they've crossed an invisible (to them) line into territory they never intended to enter.

2) The other people in their lives are either not recognizing the problem either or are quelling their gut instincts because they think these parents have had training and know what they're doing, so they have no place to speak up.

3) I'm reminded of pet hoarding situations. Someone crying because they're 127 cats (or dogs or birds or horses) are being taken away because they clearly can't care for them all. They almost always say they originally only wanted one or two, but it got out of hand, and then they were afraid to give any up for fear no one else would care about them. The situation just slowly got worse and worse, and they grew ever more blind to it as it progressed.

 

[UrsulaWrenn]

Perhaps they did have financial problems, hence the appeal of fostering/adopting children who came with subsidies. JMO.

I think that's entirely possible.

I've heard fostering called " a small business" but always wonder if it's profitable?
I mean, it seems to me the state provides funds for raising the kids, with the intention the money is spent on the kids, but do the foster parents expect to have some leftover money for themselves or for other kids every month or so?
Does the state provide a separate sum for their time and effort, etc?

If people are signing up to foster as a way of making money, but don't make any money, that might cause a lot of anger and resentment? Especially if they find themselves unable to go look for other work or opportunities because they have these kids to take care of, and the pressure is mounting to pay for things they can no longer afford?

That might be the root of some of the complaints about these kids stealing food?

 

[deadfoot13]

I think that's entirely possible.

I've heard fostering called " a small business" but always wonder if it's profitable?
I mean, it seems to me the state provides funds for raising the kids, with the intention the money is spent on the kids, but do the foster parents expect to have some leftover money for themselves or for other kids every month or so?
Does the state provide a separate sum for their time and effort, etc?

If people are signing up to foster as a way of making money, but don't make any money, that might cause a lot of anger and resentment? Especially if they find themselves unable to go look for other work or opportunities because they have these kids to take care of, and the pressure is mounting to pay for things they can no longer afford?

That might be the root of some of the complaints about these kids stealing food?

I've worked in the field for almost 34 years (in NYS, not NC) and in my experience people do not make a profit from fostering children. The monthly stipend paid to foster parents is intended to cover the child's needs for food, clothing, shelter, transportation, and any other needs (e.g. club memberships or uniforms or music lessons, etc.) The payment is also intended to offset the cost of adding a person to the household, so it's also entirely appropriate if that money is used to contribute towards household expenses if it is benefitting the child.

Foster parent training is pretty clear in that it's not paid employment. Many foster parents initially become certified as foster parents for the purpose of adopting, some do it because they feel a moral or spiritual obligation to assist the less fortunate, some because they themselves were foster kids or their family fostered children when they were young, but I've never seen anyone seeking certification because they feel it's a profitable venture. We're up front about the amount of money we pay each month, so anyone who thinks they're going to enhance their bank accounts by fostering kids is not paying attention or is delusional.

Here is a link that provides information about each state's FC payments and other info, including how a stipend should be used.

https://wehavekids.com/adoption-fostering/What-does-being-a-foster-parent-really-pay

 

[UrsulaWrenn]

I've worked in the field for almost 34 years (in NYS, not NC) and in my experience people do not make a profit from fostering children. The monthly stipend paid to foster parents is intended to cover the child's needs for food, clothing, shelter, transportation, and any other needs (e.g. club memberships or uniforms or music lessons, etc.) The payment is also intended to offset the cost of adding a person to the household, so it's also entirely appropriate if that money is used to contribute towards household expenses if it is benefitting the child.

Foster parent training is pretty clear in that it's not paid employment. Many foster parents initially become certified as foster parents for the purpose of adopting, some do it because they feel a moral or spiritual obligation to assist the less fortunate, some because they themselves were foster kids or their family fostered children when they were young, but I've never seen anyone seeking certification because they feel it's a profitable venture. We're up front about the amount of money we pay each month, so anyone who thinks they're going to enhance their bank accounts by fostering kids is not paying attention or is delusional.

Here is a link that provides information about each state's FC payments and other info, including how a stipend should be used.

https://wehavekids.com/adoption-fostering/What-does-being-a-foster-parent-really-pay

Thank-you! I've always wondered, especially as I've personally known more than one foster parent who quit fostering when they stopped getting paid. Obviously they needed funds for the kids in their care, so a late check hurts regardless where it's coming from, but I also wondered if there wasn't some further financial bonus they were not willing to work without.

One of my daughters is a "Big Sister" to a child, and I know she has spent thousands of dollars. She says she knew it would only cost her money, and that it has been worth every penny, so clearly attitude and expectation means a lot with these kinds of endeavors.

 

[deadfoot13]

Thank-you! I've always wondered, especially as I've personally known more than one foster parent who quit fostering when they stopped getting paid. Obviously they needed funds for the kids in their care, so a late check hurts regardless where it's coming from, but I also wondered if there wasn't some further financial bonus they were not willing to work without.

One of my daughters is a "Big Sister" to a child, and I know she has spent thousands of dollars. She says she knew it would only cost her money, and that it has been worth every penny, so clearly attitude and expectation means a lot with these kinds of endeavors.

The foster parents I've worked with over the years are an enormously generous and kind group of people, and, like with your experience, we have lost a lot of those resources because it takes such a financial toll. With the mass exodus of staff over the past few years it's become very difficult to get people paid on time and I do some very fast dancing on a daily basis to ensure it happens. We could not function without our foster homes and really try to make it a priority that their needs don't go unmet. It hurts a lot less if we lose a home because they have adopted their limit of kids than to lose one because we can't hold up our end of the bargain and pay for the kids we've placed there.

 

[forthelost]

That might be the root of some of the complaints about these kids stealing food?

I think it's simpler than that. Since they believe that these children have to ask for everything, including food, to be "cured" simply helping yourself to something in the fridge or pantry counts as "stealing."

 

[UrsulaWrenn]

I think it's simpler than that. Since they believe that these children have to ask for everything, including food, to be "cured" simply helping yourself to something in the fridge or pantry counts as "stealing."

Yes; I s'pose you're right.

Again, an easy problem to solve with family take-what-you-want snack baskets. These issues aren't rocket science, so I don't believe they can claim "we thought and thought and just couldn't come up with an answer except swift and severe punishment".

I also think many of the kids may be drama addicts. If they've had really turbulent lives, moving into a calm, ordered, fairly routine environment may be just driving them nuts because they're used to constant chaos and noise and emotional upheavals. I imagine that would make them seem defiant and destructive when they just can't sit still and can't figure out what seems to be "missing" from their lives.

 

[Laughing]

Yes; I s'pose you're right.

Again, an easy problem to solve with family take-what-you-want snack baskets. These issues aren't rocket science, so I don't believe they can claim "we thought and thought and just couldn't come up with an answer except swift and severe punishment".

I also think many of the kids may be drama addicts. If they've had really turbulent lives, moving into a calm, ordered, fairly routine environment may be just driving them nuts because they're used to constant chaos and noise and emotional upheavals. I imagine that would make them seem defiant and destructive when they just can't sit still and can't figure out what seems to be "missing" from their lives.

Yes, and some of these kids are exhausting in a pre-K classroom, believe me.

Others figure out quickly that the classroom has (what I always considered) 'enough' for everyone. Enough food, enough toys, enough paper, enough crayons, enough space, enough books, enough adults.

These kids accept the classroom boundaries and usually do quite well code-switching between home & school.

I remember one little guy who had a rough start in my room had this conversation with another day's new student:

New Student: I'm really hungry.
Three Day Veteran: Don't worry, there is always enough food here, every time they bring it & they'll bring more."

I wonder if Skyler every had the chance to experience this concept of enough?

 

[Ty2487]

Hello all,

Sorry to have been MIA for a little while there. Had a lot going on during SB week & got sick afterwards, but fortunately getting better now. Wanted to share some minor updates:

- It was recently Jodi's birthday on February 15th. Of course, along with that, came the usual FB birthday wishes. That said, it was scary to see how many people (including a former professor of hers & mine) still have no idea what she did, but even more scary to see how many are still being sympathetic or supportive. There was one lone post by someone who appeared not to know her/be a mutual friend, so not sure how he was actually able to post on her wall, but let's just say... it was negative. The comment has since been removed, but Jodi's sister replied with some pretty blunt and direct/to-the-point language, essentially saying "GTFO" and (paraphrasing) "all you're accomplishing is hurting her family." Was somewhat surprised to see a family member being so supportive, but I can at least understand it when it comes to family. Other people that don't appear to be related though offering support, including language like, "So sorry for what you're going through"... yeah, that surprises me (and border-line disgusts me, tbh. How about what her kids and Skyler are going through/went through?!). Perhaps it shouldn't, but I hope once all the facts come out about this case, their opinions about her will change.

- And speaking of facts coming out, I found a recent article from The Elkin Tribune, a weekly newspaper posted in Elkin, NC, a town about a 35-40 min drive from Mt Airy, NC. The article was posted today, Feb. 20, and much of it centers around the lone employee at the chiropractic practice. I would expect lawyers to end up calling her to the stand whenever the trial eventually takes place, as she certainly has vital information and can speak to Joe and Jodi's character in a unique way that no one else can. She has already provided information that she knew Joe would look up information about parenting techniques and exorcisms while at work. Reading about what she's going through though, I can only hope she lands on her feet and can heal from this. It's also frightening to hear that she was more aware of HIPAA violations than the Wilsons were... but then again, they weren't exactly the smartest in my class. Reading back some of the conversations I had with Jodi while I was in school, she was often very panicky before exams and would seek out my advice on what to study, but I often just steered things toward making her less nervous. She never actually graduated from NYCC -- not sure if I mentioned that in my last post or not -- but that was something I apparently didn't remember correctly, and a former classmate of mine informed me of that a few weeks ago. I don't know if it was because of insufficient grades, but it wouldn't surprise me. (It wasn't due to a lack of effort or lack of studying on her part, I will say that.)

- As of now, there is still a scheduled court appearance for March 6, but there is information in the linked article above that the trial and court appearance could be delayed due to the Wilsons still trying to find a lawyer. It had been previously reported that they waived their right to a public defender/lawyer, and now I think it's safe to say they chose to do that because they are being very particular about who will defend them. It's likely that their prior court appearance on Feb 2nd was delayed because of the lawyer problems -- they are apparently on their fourth lawyer at the moment, and according to the former employee of the Wilson's chiropractic office, likely headed to being on their fifth. I have no facts I can share about why they are doing this, but I'll try to provide some insight, perhaps, based on my gut feeling, my past experiences with them, and what I know at this time: my gut feeling is that they are searching for a "like-minded" lawyer who is ultra religious like them and someone who can practically deliver a sermon in court (dressed up as a legal defense). I could absolutely be wrong on that, but I'll certainly be tuned into what lawyer they end up choosing now that this information has come to light about them going through so many at this point. I think they are currently most likely leaning on religion for comfort and to process what's happening to them. Jodi's previous social media posts show that at least she had been doing that long before Skyler's tragic death took place, and based on several birthday posts, many of her supporters and family are doing so as well.

 

[Knitty]

MOD NOTE: Fixed the link in the post above this one - it wasn't working before.

 

[iamshadow21]

Hello all,

Sorry to have been MIA for a little while there. Had a lot going on during SB week & got sick afterwards, but fortunately getting better now. Wanted to share some minor updates:

- It was recently Jodi's birthday on February 15th. Of course, along with that, came the usual FB birthday wishes. That said, it was scary to see how many people (including a former professor of hers & mine) still have no idea what she did, but even more scary to see how many are still being sympathetic or supportive. There was one lone post by someone who appeared not to know her/be a mutual friend, so not sure how he was actually able to post on her wall, but let's just say... it was negative. The comment has since been removed, but Jodi's sister replied with some pretty blunt and direct/to-the-point language, essentially saying "GTFO" and (paraphrasing) "all you're accomplishing is hurting her family." Was somewhat surprised to see a family member being so supportive, but I can at least understand it when it comes to family. Other people that don't appear to be related though offering support, including language like, "So sorry for what you're going through"... yeah, that surprises me (and border-line disgusts me, tbh. How about what her kids and Skyler are going through/went through?!). Perhaps it shouldn't, but I hope once all the facts come out about this case, their opinions about her will change.

- And speaking of facts coming out, I found a recent article from The Elkin Tribune, a weekly newspaper posted in Elkin, NC, a town about a 35-40 min drive from Mt Airy, NC. The article was posted today, Feb. 20, and much of it centers around the lone employee at the chiropractic practice. I would expect lawyers to end up calling her to the stand whenever the trial eventually takes place, as she certainly has vital information and can speak to Joe and Jodi's character in a unique way that no one else can. She has already provided information that she knew Joe would look up information about parenting techniques and exorcisms while at work. Reading about what she's going through though, I can only hope she lands on her feet and can heal from this. It's also frightening to hear that she was more aware of HIPAA violations than the Wilsons were... but then again, they weren't exactly the smartest in my class. Reading back some of the conversations I had with Jodi while I was in school, she was often very panicky before exams and would seek out my advice on what to study, but I often just steered things toward making her less nervous. She never actually graduated from NYCC -- not sure if I mentioned that in my last post or not -- but that was something I apparently didn't remember correctly, and a former classmate of mine informed me of that a few weeks ago. I don't know if it was because of insufficient grades, but it wouldn't surprise me. (It wasn't due to a lack of effort or lack of studying on her part, I will say that.)

- As of now, there is still a scheduled court appearance for March 6, but there is information in the linked article above that the trial and court appearance could be delayed due to the Wilsons still trying to find a lawyer. It had been previously reported that they waived their right to a public defender/lawyer, and now I think it's safe to say they chose to do that because they are being very particular about who will defend them. It's likely that their prior court appearance on Feb 2nd was delayed because of the lawyer problems -- they are apparently on their fourth lawyer at the moment, and according to the former employee of the Wilson's chiropractic office, likely headed to being on their fifth. I have no facts I can share about why they are doing this, but I'll try to provide some insight, perhaps, based on my gut feeling, my past experiences with them, and what I know at this time: my gut feeling is that they are searching for a "like-minded" lawyer who is ultra religious like them and someone who can practically deliver a sermon in court (dressed up as a legal defense). I could absolutely be wrong on that, but I'll certainly be tuned into what lawyer they end up choosing now that this information has come to light about them going through so many at this point. I think they are currently most likely leaning on religion for comfort and to process what's happening to them. Jodi's previous social media posts show that at least she had been doing that long before Skyler's tragic death took place, and based on several birthday posts, many of her supporters and family are doing so as well.

That's a lot of lawyers. At some point, the music's going to stop and they're going to have to work with the one they've got. Religious, yeah, they may get a religious one. One that's fine with them torturing their kids and willing to argue that, though, they might be out of luck. A lawyer can have personal beliefs, but they're going to know what constitutes child abuse under the law, and this isn't a case of spanking - Skyler died. You can't argue 'harsh but fair' parenting when the child dies.

Thanks for finding that article. I searched for new ones only a couple of days ago, but that one didn't come up for me. I am searching from Australia, though, so it always tries to sort what comes up to be close to home for me, which can be a pain when I'm searching for stories about the US or Europe.

MOO

 

[AzPistonsGirl]

ego. control. someone upthread mentioned ego and that is partly what this is IMO. They would never ask for a re-placement, or temporary respite from care because they believe they knew it all and knew it better than anyone else.

Remember when kids were kids and we expected them to be kids? We did not expect 4 year olds (or 12 year olds, for that matter) to act like adults.

 

[UrsulaWrenn]

Remember when kids were kids and we expected them to be kids? We did not expect 4 year olds (or 12 year olds, for that matter) to act like adults.

This.

Of course, when I was four years old I spent part of every morning and about an hour every evening outside. I remember this because we had a small side yard, and I had a swing set. I have clear memories of wiping the snow off the swing seats with my mittens, so I'm sure I was preschool age. IIRC, there was a factory whistle I could hear that told me it was time to go inside for lunch...but that may have been much later.

When my children were four I could no longer just toss 'em outside like that. I could drive 'round town and never see a single child outside on the sidewalk, inside the stores ogling candy or toys, or even playing in the park.

I think some of the parenting disasters may be partly due to parents never being able to just separate themselves from the kids for a while to gain perspective and recognize they may not be thinking very clearly through anger and exhaustion.

Maybe we need a nationwide push to create more safe outdoor spaces for kids where they can play and use up their excess energy -and can be used for bribes, too.

"Eat your lunch now and you can go to the park" or "If you keep throwing things, you won't see the park 'til your old enough to drive yourself there."

 

[Ty2487]

...they believe they knew it all and knew it better than anyone else.

Not sure if you realize just how much you hit the nail on the head with this one. Again, I can't speak to Joe as much here, but when it comes to Jodi, she and her like-minded friends interacting with her on Facebook really acted like they felt like they knew everything. She thought that she vetted and researched things more than anyone else, that she found the "truth" by digging deeper for it than anyone else, and then when she had her "Eureka" moment, which is to really say her moment of confirmation bias, she'd breathlessly share it with the rest of her social media bubble, already having convinced herself that she was doing a good deed, all while simultaneously attempting "convert" others (there's that word again). This applies to her parenting, homeschooling, political beliefs, religious beliefs, healthcare beliefs, etc.

With the few times I couldn't help myself and regrettably commented on her posts to push back or caution others that might read that particular post, I found neither she nor her friends were in the frame of mind to see things from a different perspective or have their beliefs challenged in any sort of way, even when I tried to be as cordial and as unnecessarily ingratiating as possible. If I provided undeniable evidence that they were flat-out wrong... the conversation/discussion would end right then and there completely, with no one offering even as much as a simple "oh wow, thanks, I actually didn't know some of that." But I digress -- Jodi would sometimes gripe about Facebook censoring her posts, saying she was thinking of joining Parler or some other alternative social media site, or she'd complain about the "this has been debunked/this is misinformation" warning label/message that would sometimes appear, but in my view, that's what happens when you go down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories and pseudo-science like she did, you're going to find that a lot of the stuff you're putting out there is getting fact-checked. Just like Nancy Thomas, I often found that she'd gravitate towards sources of information with, at best, highly questionable backgrounds. Sherri Tenpenny, Andrew Wakefield, and Stella Immanuel come to mind as individuals she agreed with, defended, or cited as sources of information behind some of her posts & "research." It all comes back to this for me -- what she considered "research" or vetting for the source of truth was just her dismissing the majority of actual information & facts out there and looking for information that would fall in line with her confirmation bias. I've been guilty of doing that myself sometimes as well (mainly with sports debates haha), I think a lot of us have, but this took more of a turn into her not even seemingly being aware that she was ignoring legitimate science and opting for much more questionable, unsubstantiated, and in some cases, pieces of information with very little supporting factual evidence, aka conspiracy theories. Put in another way, she might have gaslit herself.

I just shake my head in disbelief now knowing that she went so far down these rabbit holes that it's led to her being charged with murder. That it led to this insane decline of someone I knew as a former friend, classmate, and potential peer, to someone that would eventually allow herself to believe that she could actually be legitimately "treating" a 4-year old child by wrapping him in a blanket so tight that he could barely move and then subsequently duct tape him face-down to the hard surface of a floor for hours straight.

I am convinced that they will be convicted of the charges against them in due time, and when that time comes, I hope they finally see the errors of their ways. From how zealous they're being in finding a lawyer at this time, I don't believe they've actually truly come close to that yet, and while that doesn't surprise me, it continues to disappoint me, just like much of Jodi's constant controversial ways of looking at things over the last few years disappointed me.