2011.05.04 Verdict Watch

[ohiogirl]

I've been here since something like 2004 - never seen anything like this thread/trial (not even the Scott Peterson trial seemed so ... what is the word I'm looking for, contentious (?). Hope to never see it again. There was surely different here for this one - can't explain it.

Think: gossiping, vindictive, self-serving Lochmere cult

I respectfully disagree.

 

[momto3kids]

I feel horrible for the women in this forum that have experienced abuse. Your stories are gut wrenching. But I honestly don't see how you relate Nancy's experience prior to July 12th to what you experienced. I would like to leave the events of July 12th out of this because there are people that don't believe he killed her. But prior to July 12th, the only things I see from him that he controlled were finances and the ability for her to take their kids and leave the country. The finances are a bit of a different story since she didn't have a green card and couldn't work. I get that. She didn't have her own money. But there were none of the other signs of abuse that you always hear about. He didn't isolate her from her friends. He didn't isolate her from her family. He didn't hit her. He didn't berate her and destroy her self esteem (at least not that I am aware of). He put her on an allowance (a fairly generous one) and took that passports (actually only wanted to take one). I honestly do not see how that relates to the experiences you ladies have shared on here. Honestly, she relied on her parents for lots of things, including money. If he was truly abusive, could she not have left, with the kids, and had her parents support her until it got worked out? Could she have gone to court to let the court decide if she was allowed to go back to Canada with the kids? They probably would have ruled that she had to since she wasn't a US Citizen and didn't have a green card. There were avenues she could have taken and she didn't. But I simply don't see how it adds up to abuse. Maybe that's because I'm a guy and just don't "get it".

BBM
BC did this mentally to NC with his narcissistic personality. The custody hearing revealed this very openly over and over. SG & I sat thru the entire hearing and it was an eye opener for us. This is all posted under "testimonies" in WS thread.
I feel this is the reason RKAB posted what she did...it was all done behind closed doors.
I have to reinterate the Pros missed the mark by not bringing his personality into the trial.

FWIW.... I feel the call to the realtor happened because KL testified NC had $700 during the custody hearing. In addition to JA paint $ it might have enabled NC to move out of Wallsburg Ct., but not in the manner she did.

 

[ncsu95]

Control & Manipulation, a couple cornerstones of abuse. As are the words said in an effort to break your spirit, break your soul. Brad controlled and manipulated in a cunning fashion. The *best* do it in such a way, where everyone around them doesn't *see* how bad they really are. As for the breaking of spirit and soul, well, isn't that just what Brad's former girlfriend said? Those things are done in private, and they hurt far worse than a fist to the face. I've experienced both. It's the words that remain, after the physical injuries heal. 'You are stupid, you are ugly, your are nothing, you will never be anything because you are useless, ignorant, nobody wants you, I wish you were never born, wish you were dead' etc. Years later, there are very few physical injuries I could document to you now, but the words remain, verbatim. Even the tone of voice still plays in ones head as if it was yesterday. You have no further back to look then what Brad's previous relationship stated here.

I believe BC was emotionally abusive to RKAB.

 

[TallCoolOne]

I've been here for a long time....and, IMO, this case was nothing unique. Pretty much the same as any other "husband/boyfriend kills wife/gf".....defense always claims rush to judgment and police ineptness.

The difference I see is in the threads.

Yeppers, I agree with what you say here. Pretty much a Peterson in Cooper's clothing, IMO.

 

[Rigby]

Just wanted to say thanks to all for the intelligent conversation. I've enjoyed reading your thoughts and insights during the past two months. I've compiled my own "Top 10 Signs You're too Involved with the BC Trial" and am looking forward to moving on with life. Praying for justice to be served, whatever that entails.

 

[djal]

NC lived with this as well because sometimes emotional abuse is as bad or worse than physical

I'm not really understanding. NC yelled at people in front of people. NC told everyone about her "hate Brad" days. NC told everyone (including the exterminator) about Brad's affairs (and none about hers). The house was a mess, even though he worked, she stayed home, and the kids went to day care.

What was ever said or proved that said BC was emotionally abusive, other than the Nannerisms?

 

[ncsu95]

I think there are parts I don't see as 'controlling', the allowance is not something I thought was. I could see the financial aspect of doing that. The passport issue was something I could relate to as being controlling, it directly controlled what could have been a threatening situation already, the children. It took the threat a step further. Made it more of an action. IMHO, the children were a big worry for NC. She was able to figure out a plan of action to make money. A plan. When it came to the children, there was no plan. Just constant limbo. You can't leave with the children, you can' get a job to feed them or house them, you can't ask the other to leave, they won't even negotiate terms of a divorce. I relate inthose areas. FWIW, there are still people today, who will say they would not have believed certain things about someone I was divorced. Until it was out in the open and on paper, it was shocking. The turning off the water was controlling IMHO. Another threat to show she could not care for her children. She had very little money, no way to care of her children the way they deserved. BC didn't do that and it affected just her. Again, its not so much the threats that start to tear your mental state apart, its what action you perceives backs up the threat.


Kelly

Now I can understand that. Him taking the passports and not negotiating towards a separation did prevent her from leaving in the manner in which she wanted to leave. He did control that situation and basically kept her from doing what she wanted to do (take the kids and move back to Canada). But I do feel she had other options that for reasons we will never know, she didn't pursue.

 

[Cheyenne130]

Control & Manipulation, a couple cornerstones of abuse. As are the words said in an effort to break your spirit, break your soul. Brad controlled and manipulated in a cunning fashion. The *best* do it in such a way, where everyone around them doesn't *see* how bad they really are. As for the breaking of spirit and soul, well, isn't that just what Brad's former girlfriend said? Those things are done in private, and they hurt far worse than a fist to the face. I've experienced both. It's the words that remain, after the physical injuries heal. 'You are stupid, you are ugly, your are nothing, you will never be anything because you are useless, ignorant, nobody wants you, I wish you were never born, wish you were dead' etc. Years later, there are very few physical injuries I could document to you now, but the words remain, verbatim. Even the tone of voice still plays in ones head as if it was yesterday. You have no further back to look then what Brad's previous relationship stated here.

There were two things testified to that I thought gave a glimpse into the hidden life inside the house. One was when Nancy wanted to buy a balloon or something for the birthday party. Brad wouldn't give her the money and someone else (I believe it was her sister) offered to give her the money and Nancy said something like, "No. I would just be in trouble at home."

The other of course was watching her own house waiting for the lights to go out. What was she avoiding in that house?

 

[ncsu95]

NC lived with this as well because sometimes emotional abuse is as bad or worse than physical

I'm not really understanding. NC yelled at people in front of people. NC told everyone about her "hate Brad" days. NC told everyone (including the exterminator) about Brad's affairs (and none about hers). The house was a mess, even though he worked, she stayed home, and the kids went to day care.

What was ever said or proved that said BC was emotionally abusive, other than the Nannerisms?

And because of these things, I believe she also would have told her friends if he was saying the same things he said to RKAB.

 

[raisincharlie]

I think there are parts I don't see as 'controlling', the allowance is not something I thought was. I could see the financial aspect of doing that. The passport issue was something I could relate to as being controlling, it directly controlled what could have been a threatening situation already, the children. It took the threat a step further. Made it more of an action. IMHO, the children were a big worry for NC. She was able to figure out a plan of action to make money. A plan. When it came to the children, there was no plan. Just constant limbo. You can't leave with the children, you can' get a job to feed them or house them, you can't ask the other to leave, they won't even negotiate terms of a divorce. I relate inthose areas. FWIW, there are still people today, who will say they would not have believed certain things about someone I was divorced. Until it was out in the open and on paper, it was shocking. The turning off the water was controlling IMHO. Another threat to show she could not care for her children. She had very little money, no way to care of her children the way they deserved. BC didn't do that and it affected just her. Again, its not so much the threats that start to tear your mental state apart, its what action you perceives backs up the threat.


Kelly

What I perceive as controlling is Brad's failure to get Cisco to work on a green card for Nancy. Legally she could not work - Brad could have helped his family a good deal by getting on Cisco to get that card. After 7 years in the U.S., if he wanted her to have one, she would have had it. Seems pretty controlling to me - you can't work, you can't have your own money, do as I dictate attitude from the beginning as far as I can tell. Much like the kids, Nancy was simply a possession, nothing more IMO I should add.

 

[Lori59]

There were two things testified to that I thought gave a glimpse into the hidden life inside the house. One was when Nancy wanted to buy a balloon or something for the birthday party. Brad wouldn't give her the money and someone else (I believe it was her sister) offered to give her the money and Nancy said something like, "No. I would just be in trouble at home."

The other of course was watching her own house waiting for the lights to go out. What was she avoiding in that house?

Yes, and I would add, sleeping in her jeans with her car key in her pocket and locking important papers in her car.

 

[GhostCrab]

NC lived with this as well because sometimes emotional abuse is as bad or worse than physical

I'm not really understanding. NC yelled at people in front of people. NC told everyone about her "hate Brad" days. NC told everyone (including the exterminator) about Brad's affairs (and none about hers). The house was a mess, even though he worked, she stayed home, and the kids went to day care.

What was ever said or proved that said BC was emotionally abusive, other than the Nannerisms?

I was thinking the same thing. I think some of these posts are taking distortion too far. I am reading some these posts thinking WHAT are you talking about? Are you on to another trial already? Wow.

 

[kar]

Now I can understand that. Him taking the passports and not negotiating towards a separation did prevent her from leaving in the manner in which she wanted to leave. He did control that situation and basically kept her from doing what she wanted to do (take the kids and move back to Canada). But I do feel she had other options that for reasons we will never know, she didn't pursue.

What options do you think she had? If he had the passports could she take the children back to Canada? I don't think so but I am not sure.

But - emotional abuse is still abuse. And in response to someone else's comment that she told people about 'hate Brad days' or whatever she called them - it doesn't matter who she told, that does not negate the fact that he was abusive.

 

[yeknomaras]

is the feed ever going to come back after the break? that was like 30 mins ago..

 

[Amster]

I've been here since something like 2004 - never seen anything like this thread/trial (not even the Scott Peterson trial seemed so ... what is the word I'm looking for, contentious (?). Hope to never see it again. There was surely different here for this one - can't explain it.

Think: gossiping, vindictive, self-serving Lochmere cult

Really?? Not that I've noticed. Seems it's the friends and supporters of Bradley who have been most vocal. 2 witnesses for Bradley even posted here! That we know of.....

 

[snowshuze]

Are we there yet?

:waiting:

 

[SleuthinNC]

What options do you think she had? If he had the passports could she take the children back to Canada? I don't think so but I am not sure.

But - emotional abuse is still abuse. And in response to someone else's comment that she told people about 'hate Brad days' or whatever she called them - it doesn't matter who she told, that does not negate the fact that he was abusive.

From all the information provided in the trial and accompanying documents the closest you can come to allegations of domestic abuse would be mutual abuse. Certainly nothing one-sided on the part of BC.

 

[kljohnson0458]

Wasn't it NC's sister that testified BC was a real jerk about his own daughters birthday party and why didn't the other children bring their own food or something to that affect. I find that totally understandable coming from a father that dotes on his daughters so much. BC that is what REAL parents do for their children's birthdays. If you don't have the money, then don't plan the party.

 

[GhostCrab]

What options do you think she had? If he had the passports could she take the children back to Canada? I don't think so but I am not sure.

But - emotional abuse is still abuse. And in response to someone else's comment that she told people about 'hate Brad days' or whatever she called them - it doesn't matter who she told, that does not negate the fact that he was abusive.

But keep in mind that the abuse you are speaking of was all in the context of a couple that is divorcing. So many of you are stretching the truth it is unbelievable. You want to talk about a ballon that he didn't buy in 2008 but forget about the BMW she was driving or the diamond around her neck.

 

[RaleighNative]

Thank you everyone for your very heartfelt and personal responses to my "could you be objective" question.

I believe every female, with the exception of one, who has experienced domestic violence or emotional abuse is firmly on the BDI.

This is telling, because 10 of these jurors are female. Therefore, I would think a few of them have experienced some sort of domestic and/or emotional abuse at some point in their lives. And my bet is the majority of these 10 women have had a female family member or close friend experience abuse.

With that information, I think a guilty verdict may be more likely than I had initially anticipated.

I believe, given these stories, this is worth posting. If you or someone you know in this area is experiencing abuse, please visit this page: http://www.interactofwake.org/