GUILTY AR - Malik Drummond, 2, Searcy, 23 Nov 2014 - #2

[MzOpinion8d]

This is a personal issue but I HATE it that the dad's girlfriend keeps being called the step mom. She's JUST a girlfriend, and not even for very long!!! This is a media vent, not directed to anyone here.

 

[MzOpinion8d]

From what I can gather, Malik's father's only comment has been concerning how he feels he is being "misrepresented" in the press. I don't know what he means by this, given that I haven't seen anything myself that I would of considered harmful to his reputation. I am not implicating the father here, I actually don't think he was directly involved with Malik's disappearance (IMO). However, I do find it odd that a parent, going through the trauma of having a young child missing, would be more concerned with how they are being portrayed than in making statements to the press.

Maybe he means he wasn't taking a nap, he was just "resting his eyes".

 

[chaotic_idealism]

This is a personal issue but I HATE it that the dad's girlfriend keeps being called the step mom. She's JUST a girlfriend, and not even for very long!!! This is a media vent, not directed to anyone here.

I tend to think of people as being essentially married once they're living in the same house, especially if they're taking care of children together. Socially, psychologically, they're sharing a household, and they behave more like spouses than like people who are just dating. It's why the term "common-law marriage" exists.

This would also mean that there's a difference between newlyweds who are just sharing a household for the first time, and those who are married after years of sharing a household; similarly, people who are married but living apart may psychologically/socially be more like single people.

I do think that their on-paper marital status is a part of the picture, but it's not all of it. How people live day to day, their emotions and their everyday activities, is more significant than whether they were married or not.

The media refers to her as the twins' stepmother; in their daily life, is she? Does she do the childcare, wake up when the kids are crying, drive them to doctors' appointments, etc., the way any stepmother would? Such a person is essentially a child's stepmother, even if she hasn't officially married into that family.

 

[melodyl]

I tend to think of people as being essentially married once they're living in the same house, especially if they're taking care of children together. Socially, psychologically, they're sharing a household, and they behave more like spouses than like people who are just dating. It's why the term "common-law marriage" exists.

This would also mean that there's a difference between newlyweds who are just sharing a household for the first time, and those who are married after years of sharing a household; similarly, people who are married but living apart may psychologically/socially be more like single people.

I do think that their on-paper marital status is a part of the picture, but it's not all of it. How people live day to day, their emotions and their everyday activities, is more significant than whether they were married or not.

The media refers to her as the twins' stepmother; in their daily life, is she? Does she do the childcare, wake up when the kids are crying, drive them to doctors' appointments, etc., the way any stepmother would? Such a person is essentially a child's stepmother, even if she hasn't officially married into that family.

in my opinion, this is a new relationship and the girlfriend is probably trying to prove her worth to Dad. I would not think she'd be able to take the kids to Dr appointments because there is no blood or paper relationship between her and these children and I don't get the feeling that Mom would grant her that type of guardianship. Also, as far as what she does around the home, I would think that would be based on what type of Dad he is. Some men leave the child care and housekeeping up to the woman and consider that ”woman's work”, others enjoy the bonding that comes from bathing, feeding and soothing their children. Again, this is a relatively new relationship, I have no idea how long they were dating before she moved into the home. I also have no idea how often the children go to Dad's house and interact with ”Step Mom”. I read somewhere that the twins had been at Dad's for two weeks during this visit, but how often and for how long had they visited Dad since the relationship began? Those factors would have to be taken into account when defining her position in regards to the children.

 

[Writerofwrongs]

So is Malik's dad not the father of the girlfriend's youngest child? I made the assumption she was just by going off FB pictures of the dad holding the newborn baby. There are several pictures of him with the baby when she was small, unless I have the complete wrong person altogether. I do generally agree with Mzopinion8d regarding the Stepmother thing - the relationship should be seriously established before individuals become step parents, IMO. I didn't realise it was a new relationship.

Sorry to see Malik's forum drop from the first page - I hope this week brings us news, this little boy needs to come home.

 

[Writerofwrongs]

Double post, sorry!! :blushing:

 

[skibaboo]

So is Malik's dad not the father of the girlfriend's youngest child? I made the assumption she was just by going off FB pictures of the dad holding the newborn baby. There are several pictures of him with the baby when she was small, unless I have the complete wrong person altogether. I do generally agree with Mzopinion8d regarding the Stepmother thing - the relationship should be seriously established before individuals become step parents, IMO. I didn't realise it was a new relationship.

Sorry to see Malik's forum drop from the first page - I hope this week brings us news, this little boy needs to come home.

I think you have the right assumption, I don't know how long they have been living together or in a relationship but going by fb they met just over 2 years ago.

 

[Ontario Mom]

I think you have the right assumption, I don't know how long they have been living together or in a relationship but going by fb they met just over 2 years ago.

I was about to post the same thing. And, if that's accurate, then no, Malik's dad is not the dad of GF's youngest. What a twisted up mess this is And poor baby Malik is out there somewhere...

 

[SCHMAE]

I think we just have to believe/hope/pray that LE is sitting on the info that they need to break this case and find the baby. They must !!!!

 

[KaylynnCouture]

One thing that has always struck me as odd about Malik's case is the parents (both the dad, mom, his girlfriend, and other family members) lack of interest (or what appears to be lack of interest) in this case. I know the mom has posted a few times on Facebook, and I believe she has done a media interview or two in the early stages but that's about it that I've seen.

In other cases I've followed, the parents are ALL over the media, holding press conferences, answering questions, BEGGING people to come forward with any information, raising reward funds, conducting private searches, organizing search parties, hiring private investigators -- it just makes me wonder what are the family members in this case doing?

I'm not blaming them, as I've (thankfully) never been in their position and can't say I would know exactly how to handle it, but I do know if my 2 year old was missing and I truly believed that he wandered out our front door, I would be doing EVERYTHING I could to bring him home. I understand everyone handles things differently, but it's unusual to see a case like this where the parents are so MIA.

 

[StormyNights]

One thing that has always struck me as odd about Malik's case is the parents (both the dad, mom, his girlfriend, and other family members) lack of interest (or what appears to be lack of interest) in this case. I know the mom has posted a few times on Facebook, and I believe she has done a media interview or two in the early stages but that's about it that I've seen.

In other cases I've followed, the parents are ALL over the media, holding press conferences, answering questions, BEGGING people to come forward with any information, raising reward funds, conducting private searches, organizing search parties, hiring private investigators -- it just makes me wonder what are the family members in this case doing?

I'm not blaming them, as I've (thankfully) never been in their position and can't say I would know exactly how to handle it, but I do know if my 2 year old was missing and I truly believed that he wandered out our front door, I would be doing EVERYTHING I could to bring him home. I understand everyone handles things differently, but it's unusual to see a case like this where the parents are so MIA.

Boy you aren't kidding! I have seen parents of missing kids just BEGGING to do interviews. Passing out fliers...just something! Kind of reminds me Cassie Compton in a way. Her mother had said that nobody was including her. YOU MAKE YOURSELF included. I wouldn't let anything hold me back from trying to find my child any ways shape or form! I am trying my best not to judge. I had small kids myself and not too long ago. All in their early teens now and I know it was hard to get a shower let alone a bath soak. My toddlers were always knocking on the door to come in. I can't help but wonder why those twins didn't? I just don't like this. I have had a bad feeling from the start and I am still yelling LOOK CLOSE TO HOME!!

Where are you sweet boy?
ALL JMO

 

[menmo]

This is a personal issue but I HATE it that the dad's girlfriend keeps being called the step mom. She's JUST a girlfriend, and not even for very long!!! This is a media vent, not directed to anyone here.

So is Malik's dad not the father of the girlfriend's youngest child? I made the assumption she was just by going off FB pictures of the dad holding the newborn baby. There are several pictures of him with the baby when she was small, unless I have the complete wrong person altogether. I do generally agree with Mzopinion8d regarding the Stepmother thing - the relationship should be seriously established before individuals become step parents, IMO. I didn't realise it was a new relationship.

Sorry to see Malik's forum drop from the first page - I hope this week brings us news, this little boy needs to come home.

I agree about the girlfriend being called stepmom. Seriously if you aren't married to the dad then, you're not the stepmom or the wife.

 

[KaylynnCouture]

I agree about the girlfriend being called stepmom. Seriously if you aren't married to the dad then, you're not the stepmom or the wife.

Exactly. That would make her the girlfriend..and nothing more.

 

[TupeloMz]

From what I can gather, Malik's father's only comment has been concerning how he feels he is being "misrepresented" in the press. I don't know what he means by this, given that I haven't seen anything myself that I would of considered harmful to his reputation. I am not implicating the father here, I actually don't think he was directly involved with Malik's disappearance (IMO). However, I do find it odd that a parent, going through the trauma of having a young child missing, would be more concerned with how they are being portrayed than in making statements to the press.

Another missing child in Arkansas has a parent who is doing or has done the very same thing, meaning she is more concerned how she is being judged and left out, than trying to find her daughter. IMO. Cassie Compton is missing from Stuttgart, Ar. The difference is her mother has been named a suspect along with mothers boyfriend. Sadly I guess it is not uncommon.
Cassie's thread:
http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...-Kay-Compton-15-Stuttgart-14-September-2014-3

 

[SCHMAE]

Another missing child in Arkansas has a parent who is doing or has done the very same thing, meaning she is more concerned how she is being judged and left out, than trying to find her daughter. IMO. Cassie Compton is missing from Stuttgart, Ar. The difference is her mother has been named a suspect along with mothers boyfriend. Sadly I guess it is not uncommon.
Cassie's thread:
http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...-Kay-Compton-15-Stuttgart-14-September-2014-3

It's sickening

( go ole' miss )

 

[FindHG]

I agree about the girlfriend being called stepmom. Seriously if you aren't married to the dad then, you're not the stepmom or the wife.

I guess the lack of accurate info left me calling her bath lady, with all due respect, but bath and cook mom BCM may be?

 

[Sunkist]

I will be going to Searcy for a few days at the end of this week. Can you think of anything I could do while there that could help? I won't have a lot of extra time, but I will have some. Any pictures that need taking or things like that (assuming this is allowed- I don't want to go beyond what WS allows).


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[Soulmagent]

I will be going to Searcy for a few days at the end of this week. Can you think of anything I could do while there that could help? I won't have a lot of extra time, but I will have some. Any pictures that need taking or things like that (assuming this is allowed- I don't want to go beyond what WS allows).


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Pictures of spring park , Pictures of the boat ramp of little big river, maybe time the drive from the house to the ramp. While watching for any camera's that may have caught something.How many traffic lights etc If you have time!

 

[FindHG]

I will be going to Searcy for a few days at the end of this week. Can you think of anything I could do while there that could help? I won't have a lot of extra time, but I will have some. Any pictures that need taking or things like that (assuming this is allowed- I don't want to go beyond what WS allows).


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Contact search HQ which is at the SPD, can't hurt. Maybe they have flyers you can post or a drop off spot for gifts for the other kids.

 

[katydid23]

I will be going to Searcy for a few days at the end of this week. Can you think of anything I could do while there that could help? I won't have a lot of extra time, but I will have some. Any pictures that need taking or things like that (assuming this is allowed- I don't want to go beyond what WS allows).


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Just be careful NOT TO SAY TO ANYONE THAT YOU REPRESENT WS or are doing anything FOR WS etc. THat is against TOS.