PrimeSuspect
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Although narcissists don't (or won't) show it, all perceived criticism feels gravely threatening to them (the reason that their inflamed, over-the-top reactions to it can leave us so surprised and confused). Deep down, clinging desperately not simply to a positive but grandiose sense of self, they're compelled at all costs to block out any negative feedback about themselves. Their dilemma is that the rigidity of their defenses, their inability ever to let their guard down (even with those closest to them), guarantees that they'll never get what they most need, which they themselves are sadly--no, tragically--oblivious of.
To better grasp why narcissists are so ready to attack others and so unable to deal with being attacked themselves, it's useful to understand something about their childhood. People aren't born narcissistic--it's powerful environmental influences that cause them to become so.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo.../the-narcissists-dilemma-they-can-dish-it-out
Thanks tgy for info on narcissists.
On my fb timeline appeared Peter Caruso on Listverse, a man who came across as someone 'who wouldn't hurt a fly', and yet, behind close doors he was a controlling, manipulative narcissist who ended up killing his wife, Rosa, in their Templestowe home in 2008.
This is an excerpt from the article, and a major reference to Gerard Baden-Clay and his narcissism. Imo, Borce has a similar outward demeanor, he's been described by a few as a 'harmless' and 'unassuming' man but his life choices, and the shocking death of his wife, suggests otherwise. While his wife was missing, Borce's only concern was to be seen as a successful business man with no financial worries.
No matter the stress Borce and Karen were facing, killing her should NEVER have been an option. It does take a 'special' kind of person to commit such an act, someone who doesn't live in reality and has never taken responsibility for their actions, whether in business or private affairs. JMO
Why Did They Do It? Inside the minds of Australias unlikely killers
Peter Caruso was able to act so selfishly and callously because he has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This is characterised by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, arrogance and a lack of empathy for others.
On the day she died, Caruso appears to have become aware that Rosa was planning to leave him, threatening his assets and status in the Italian community as a successful businessman. Those with an NPD often respond with rage when their demands are not met.
Rosas death was similar in some ways to that of Allison Baden-Clay, whose real estate agent husband Gerard almost certainly killed her when she refused to continue to live a life based solely on his needs and with no consideration for her or their family.
Caruso and Baden-Clay both believed in their own cleverness and superiority and their right to demand compliance from their wives. They incorrectly assumed that others would swallow their fabricated stories about how their wives died. But their lack of empathy, a key feature of NPD, meant that neither realised others would see through their charade.
Both were far too cool, calm and collected when their wives died and seemed more concerned about the impact on themselves. They also continued to protest their innocence, despite mounting evidence.
Research has shown that the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when a she decides to leave or actually leaves. If her partner has an NPD, the risk is further magnified.
Cheryl Critchley and Dr Helen McGrath are the authors of Why did they do it? Inside the minds of Australias most unlikely killers
http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/re...s/news-story/452a9154db9bb86da4c10ef2e8b141b4