Someone posted an article about how children of narcissist are often excessively cheerful and accommodating. It's how they survive. I can't find that article but I did find some others that have a lot of interesting information.
I'm sure there's a lot of crazy going on with these two parents. Narcissim
seems like one trait that may fit here (among others):
1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance, e.g. exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love.
3. Believes that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high status people (or institutions).
4. Requires excessive admiration.
5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.
6. Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e. takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of her.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.fo...issist-damages-your-life-and-self-esteem/amp/.
A narcissistic parent is a parentaffected by narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder. Typically narcissistic parents are exclusively and possessively close to their children and may be especially envious of, and threatened by, their child's growing independence.[1] The result may be what has been termed a pattern of narcissistic attachment, with the child considered to exist solely to fulfill the parent's wishes and needs.[2]Commonly parents attempt to force their children to treat themselves as though they are their parents' puppets, or else be subject to punishments such as emotional abuse.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_parent
Always notice a narcissist and the importance placed on their own image .Pictures may show a family, but in reality, look at the faces of those children, examine the body language of the narcissist, look closely at the mannerisms and expressions upon those in the pictures and you will begin to see a very different picture. Often the narc appears with a grin rather than a smile, a cold shoulder, with no signs of affection, perhaps with a back turned, or looking away from the camera. They will seem genuinely disinterested in the lives of others and have one need to cultivate their own needs, wants, and desires. That moment in time was captured not to show the love or bonding but to show a false image of involvement and when the cameras are put away the reality appears.
Image. The narcissistic family is all about image. The message is: "We are bigger, better, have no problems, and must put on the face of perfection." Children get the messages: "What would the neighbors think?" "What would the relatives think?" What would our friends think?" These are common fears in the family: "Always put a smile on that pretty little face."
Siblings Not Encouraged to Be Close. In healthy families, we encourage our children to be loving and close to each other. In narcissistic families, children are pitted against each other and taught competition. There is a constant comparison of who is doing better and who is not. Some are favored or seen as "the golden child," and others become the scapegoat for a parent's projected negative feelings. Siblings in narcissistic families rarely grow up feeling emotionally connected to each other.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/children-narcissistic-parenting-donna-hines
The narcissistic parent, by contrast, sees their child as an extension of their own ego and as their "property." The child is a reflection of the parent and belongs to the parent. Either the child is seen by this parent as conferring some advantage in life, or the child is seen as a burden and a nuisance; often both.
As they're growing up, the child of the extreme narcissist can go in one of two directions. They can channel their low self-esteem and needs for love and approval into people-pleasing, trying to get others to accept and validate them.
http://m.huffingtonpost.ca/marcia-sirota/children-of-narcissists_b_14962180.html
Much of that rings true in my experience (had a narcissist "mother).
(Here's a brief example of what it's like: my "mother" almost never called me by name, and when she did address me by name, without exaggeration, 9 times out of 10 she called me "Lucy," which is not my name, but the name of her sister who she had competed with since their childhood (one-sided).
But, not so much the being excessively cheerful part and the having to be accommodating part is pretty nuanced, again, at least in my experience.
A "whimsical optimism that couldn't be dampened" ? Very much doubt it. IMO that Facebook poster either misinterpreted what s/he remembered, or as a young child who confessed to avoiding, not getting to know J, misunderstood what he/she saw from the git go.