CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #19

[cluciano63]

As far as stranger abductions being fairy tales or movie plots. I know from first hand experience that's not true at all.

When I was 11 years old a girl I played with disappeared on her way home from summer school. Just vanished without a trace. Her father was in the military stationed abroad. Her mother, and brother lived with her grandmother across the street from my parents best friends.

So years we had no idea what happened to her. I just found her case here at WS and apparently there was a serial killer working the area when she disappeared. A new freeway was being put in less than a mile away and they had construction crews that travel where the work was. When they caught this guy had admitted to killing at least 20 kids around the U.S. He committed suicide in 1972 so we will never know if this girl is one of his victims but if she is, he buried her at the contruction site of the freeway. Dug a hole and put her in it, then poured cement over her. He admitting doing things like that at several sites. None of the bodies of his victims have ever been recovered.

So stranger abduction IS a reality, and not all stranger burials are found easily because they don't take the time to do it well. Stranger abduction is not a fantasy and next to zero of probability.

Lyric and Elizabeth were stranger abducted. Jessica Ridgeway was stranger abducted. You can find cases all over this website of stranger abducted missing person's cases. How is it next to zero of a probability???

It is a possibility. But parents also kill their children. Not sure who said there is a zero percent chance of a stranger abduction.

 

[FruitTingles]

We should start a thread somewhere here for frustrated iPad users I'm feeling chuffed with myself because I have actually worked out how to make things bold on the darn thing. I'd be happy to share later - buzzing out for while now.

:floorlaugh: Make the thread, link me up and I'm there! This is confusing lol.

 

[Seajay]

It is a possibility. But parents also kill their children. Not sure who said there is a zero percent chance of a stranger abduction.

It was back a couple of pages. I just wanted to address it since I know first hand the statement about it beihg a movie plot is not true.

 

[cluciano63]

It was back a couple of pages. I just wanted to address it since I know first hand the statement about it beihg a movie plot is not true.

Everyone here knows that stranger abductions happen.

I thought the poster was referring to the entire set of circumstances, with Dylan on this visit, phone either goes dead or he simply decides to sop using it suddenly, then cancels his own plans in order to sleep in, and etc.

Taken altogether, it is a bit much for some people to believe that with all of that, he also ran into a stranger who took him without leaving a trace.

 

[MissJ]

Stranger abduction is probably more common than most believe. many years ago as a prematurely developed nine year old I was walking in my hometown of 400 population as I went to the grocery; a strange man pulled over on the side of the road and tried to pull me into his car. Fortunately I was able to pull away and scream as I ran. I'll never forget it and I wonder how many of these missing children that have never been found have had similar things happen to them.

 

[Seajay]

I took the mom's comments to mean that she probably knows something, that he disappeared from his father's house on Monday morning.

I still believe. I really want Dylan to be alive. As time is passing, it is getting harder but until LE announces they have a POI to foul play or abduction, I'm going to keep on believing. I had really hoped he'd be home for Christmas.

How what's this about 27 guests??? Wow.

 

[asyousay]

Everyone here knows that stranger abductions happen.

I thought the poster was referring to the entire set of circumstances, with Dylan on this visit, phone either goes dead or he simply decides to sop using it suddenly, then cancels his own plans in order to sleep in, and etc.

Taken altogether, it is a bit much for some people to believe that with all of that, he also ran into a stranger who took him without leaving a trace.

Thank you I was saying that . Of course I know abduction happens but not when there are so many other coincidences .

 

[vasportsmom]

I took the mom's comments to mean that she probably knows something, that he disappeared from his father's house on Monday morning.

I still believe. I really want Dylan to be alive. As time is passing, it is getting harder but until LE announces they have a POI to foul play or abduction, I'm going to keep on believing. I had really hoped he'd be home for Christmas.

How what's this about 27 guests??? Wow.

I can not imagine that Elaine would have made the comment about being angry at the person who "lost" her child if she believed Mark was innocent. The "lost" in quotes screams sarcasm to me. IMO, she is clearly destroyed by Dylan's absence and if she believed that MR was in the same fragile state I honestly don't think that she would have added to his pain by accusing him of being neglectful in caring for Dylan. That post was not the first time she has implied that she thinks Mark is responsible and I trust that she has a good reason for feeling that way. She has nothing to gain by shining the light on him otherwise.

 

[NSS]

As a mother, if I had a missing child and Christmas was upon us, I would think that Dad was responsible too.

Not necessarily as the perpetrator of the ultimate outcome, but as the person who left him alone long enough for it to happen.

If I felt he were the person responsible, there'd be no subtlety to my accusations, no 'lost' posts ---- I'd be straight out accusing, nothing would stop me.

 

[asyousay]

As a mother, if I had a missing child and Christmas was upon us, I would think that Dad was responsible too.

Not necessarily as the perpetrator of the ultimate outcome, but as the person who left him alone long enough for it to happen.

If I felt he were the person responsible, there'd be no subtlety to my accusations, no 'lost' posts ---- I'd be straight out accusing, nothing would stop me.

The problem is that accusing him then some people think you are being nasty . I saw some of the comments last night on Facebook being rude to Elaine after her post . And that's the last thing she needs on top of everything else .

If Elaine knows what we know then I'm sure she has a billion answer for MR but I doubt she will ever get them now MOO


Some things just do not add up !!

 

[NSS]

The problem is that accusing him then some people think you are being nasty . I saw some of the comments last night on Facebook being rude to Elaine after her post . And that's the last thing she needs on top of everything else .

If Elaine knows what we know then I'm sure she has a billion answer for MR but I doubt she will ever get them now MOO


Some things just do not add up !!

It depends on her personality. Strangers thinking I am nasty or mean would mean zero to me if my child were missing. I just can't imagine anyone stopping me. Though I agree that not everyone is the same.


I have been called a whole bunch of things, and people assume terrible things about me, because I actually escaped with my 12 yr old. Labelled criminal, called mean, assumed to be hateful, but I think 'so what', my child is safe, and again this is just me ...... it's not how everyone reacts to stress.

 

[vasportsmom]

As a mother, if I had a missing child and Christmas was upon us, I would think that Dad was responsible too.

Not necessarily as the perpetrator of the ultimate outcome, but as the person who left him alone long enough for it to happen.

If I felt he were the person responsible, there'd be no subtlety to my accusations, no 'lost' posts ---- I'd be straight out accusing, nothing would stop me.

She did come right out and basically accuse him early on and she was ripped to pieces. I think she is trying very hard to avoid a repeat performance but as time goes on it must get harder and harder to remain silent.

I think it is also important to put her words into the proper context. That post was directed at Dylan so it would make no sense to accuse his father of killing him while vowing to find him and begging him to stay strong at the same time. I'm sure Elaine understands the importance of maintaining hope, if only publicly, so that people don't give up and move on to another cause. I really feel for her. She is stuck in an unimaginable position and there is no cheat sheet for best maneuvering the hell she is trapped in. My heart broke reading her words. She is crying out for her son with everything in her and her tears are falling in vain because the person with all the answers is staying silent.

 

[BritsKate]

It was posted 37 minutes ago. Basically stating that not everything we read in the media is true and to be careful of the source. Says that ER and MR did not have a custody battle over Dylan, until ER had to move to Colorado they shared custody 50/50 equally. ER had to file a motion to move Dylan to another county, MR disputed the move but the court allowed it. Dylan was spending his allotted parenting time with his father.

Also saying that by law you have to adhere to the parenting plan that the courts rule on. Some apparently like to think differently ?

Post was finished up with saying ER had no reason to believe that Dylan would be in any danger with his father. MR loves and cares about Dylan.
While some speculation has lead to people drawing certain conclusions, we don't know where Dylan is and what happened to him so be respectful.



I've never paraphrased before so I'm thinking I've probably broken TOS with how much I have written.....

Obviously we have to take this with a grain of salt but I did want to offer up my experiences with pursuing a relocation case. This makes it sound like an easy process but in reality it's anything but. I come from a state with a very similar family code of law.

1. Elaine, before anything else, would have to notice both the court and MR at least 45 days before the intended move. (At this point I believe MR could have given his consent and a judge may have just signed a revised parenting plan and relocation order without further proceeding.)

2. If the move was contested (by everything we know, I believe it was) it was the responsibility of MR to object the relocation. This would initiate further proceedings and mediation would have been ordered. Relocation cases are given priority status in CO.

3. For my kiddos relocation I went through ten months of court hearings - even though my ex could not assume custody of our children. My children were appointed a guardian ad litem and I was ordered to provide an overwhelming amount of evidence to prove why the move was in my children's best interest. Ultimately, the court could have removed custody of the kiddos had they ruled against me.

4. It is a long, laborious, very expensive process. I acted pro se but still amassed thousands in debt towards court expenses, filing fees, guardian ad litem rates, and airfare.

What I learned is a lot. I've studied dozens of relocation cases in preparation for my own. Some states are far more progressive while others are only just passing relocation statutes. By and far though each 'move-away' is based on its own merits. IME, family court judges tend to err on the side of caution and are very careful to apply the legal presumption of best interests correctly. A relocation ruling can be appealed within a certain time period based on state statutes.

It is likely, imo, whether you agree or not, that the judge in this case believed Dylan's relationship with MR would not be substantially affected by allowing the relocation. (And this is where a long-distance parenting plan comes into play. It would have attempted to give MR as much time with Dylan as he had previously through school breaks, summer and holiday time. Some NCPs end up with more time. Things like phone calls, Skype, and email are also sometimes ordered.)

I guess my caution is that this isn't a quick and simple process designed to occlude the other parent. Because of constitutional rights involved courts tend to consider a multitude of factors when deciding move aways and do so with due diligence. Depending on state statutes the parent(s) must provide an abundance of evidence and the testimony of teachers, coaches, or other relevant 3rd parties may be considered. In some cases, home studies are also conducted. FWIW

ETA: Just as food for thought for those who believe a parent wouldn't fight a relocation for a child he didn't want (not saying that's the case either though) - my ex contested my relocation from prison. He was in no position, having been sentenced to nearly a decade behind bars, to assume custody and his visitation rights had been suspended but he was determined not to let me move 'his' children. This is very common for abusers but as such the court was very cautious to also consider his constitutional rights.

http://www.colorado-family-law.com/relocation-children.htm
http://www.brettwmartin.com/compone...e-material/749-modification-of-parenting-time

 

[vasportsmom]

It depends on her personality. Strangers thinking I am nasty or mean would mean zero to me if my child were missing. I just can't imagine anyone stopping me. Though I agree that not everyone is the same.


I have been called a whole bunch of things, and people assume terrible things about me, because I actually escaped with my 12 yr old. Labelled criminal, called mean, assumed to be hateful, but I think 'so what', my child is safe, and again this is just me ...... it's not how everyone reacts to stress.

But her child isn't safe and if she starts screaming from the rooftops that MR killed him she risks people giving up on finding him. When you are reaching out to strangers for help what they think of you matters a great deal.

 

[FruitTingles]

Obviously we have to take this with a grain of saltbut I did want to offer up my experiences with pursuing a relocation case. This makes it sound like an easy process but in reality it's anything but. I come from a state with a very similar family code of law.

1. Elaine, before anything else, would have to notice both the court and MR at least 45 days before the intended move. (At this point I believe MR could have given his consent and a judge may have just signed a revised parenting plan and relocation order without further proceeding.)

2. If the move was contested (by everything we know, I believe it was) it was the responsibility of MR to object the relocation. This would initiate further proceedings and mediation would have been ordered. Relocation cases are given priority status in CO.


3. For my kiddos relocation I went through ten months of court hearings - even though my ex could not assume custody of our children. My children were appointed a guardian ad litem and I was ordered to provide an overwhelming amount of evidence to prove why the move was in my children's best interest. Ultimately, the court could have removed custody of the kiddos had they ruled against me.

4. It is a long, laborious, very expensive process. I acted pro se but still amassed thousands in debt towards court expenses, filing fees, guardian ad litem rates, and airfare.

What I learned is a lot. I've studied dozens of relocation cases in preparation for my own. Some states are far more progressive while others are only just passing relocation statutes. By and far though each 'move-away' is based on its own merits. IME, family court judges tend to err on the side of caution and are very careful to apply the legal presumption of best interests correctly. A relocation ruling can be appealed within a certain time period based on state statutes.

It is likely, imo, whether you agree or not, that the judge in this case believed Dylan's relationship with MR would not be substantially affected by allowing the relocation. (And this is where a long-distance parenting plan comes into play. It would have attempted to give MR as much time with Dylan as he had previously through school breaks, summer and holiday time. Some NCPs end up with more time. Things like phone calls, Skype, and email are also sometimes ordered.)

I guess my caution is that this isn't a quick and simple process designed to occlude the other parent. Because of constitutional rights involved courts tend to consider a multitude of factors when deciding move aways and do so with due diligence. Depending on state statutes the parent(s) must provide an abundance of evidence and the testimony of teachers, coaches, or other relevant 3rd parties may be considered. In some cases, home studies are also conducted. FWIW

ETA: Just as food for thought for those who believe a parent wouldn't fight a relocation for a child he didn't want (not saying that's the case either though) - my ex contested my relocation from prison. He was in no position, having been sentenced to nearly a decade behind bars, to assume custody and his visitation rights had been suspended but he was determined not to let me move 'his' children. This is very common for abusers but as such the court was very cautious to also consider his constitutional rights.

http://www.colorado-family-law.com/relocation-children.htm
http://www.brettwmartin.com/compone...e-material/749-modification-of-parenting-time

BBM.

I was just posting it for others who asked. While I respect your opinion, I don't believe this person would post something like this without at least checking with ER first. From what I can see, ER also monitors the page a lot so I personally believe it to be the truth.
:twocents:

 

[BritsKate]

But her child isn't safe and if she starts screaming from the rooftops that MR killed him she risks people giving up on finding him. When you are reaching out to strangers for help what they think of you matters a great deal.

I just don't understand the difference between Elaine and Trista Reynolds (Ayla) or Desiree Young (Kyron). :waitasec:

All three have been very vocal over whom they believe harmed their children despite a lack of evidence of such harm. At least enough evidence to secure an arrest...

 

[vasportsmom]

@ BritsKate

I went through a relocation situation with my oldest many years ago when I moved from VA to NC and luckily it was a rather quick process. I was ordered to pay all travel costs above the (then) current amount but that was it.

My ex-SIL went through hell when she wanted to move from VA to RI. My brother, who was in jail and hadn't seen the girls in a year prior to that, fought her tooth and nail. Several years later when she was ready to move back to our hometown, my brother (back in jail & having never had any contact with the girls in the preceding years) again contested the move. He had absolutely no desire to establish contact with his children but hell was going to freeze over before he made things easy for his ex.

Far too many parents use the court system as a means of control and harassment. I believe that is exactly what went on with M & E. Poor Dylan became an expendable pawn when ER was granted sole custody and permission to start a new life with him hours away. P

 

[vasportsmom]

I just don't understand the difference between Elaine and Trista Reynolds (Ayla) or Desiree Young (Kyron). :waitasec:

All three have been very vocal over whom they believe harmed their children despite a lack of evidence of such harm. At least enough evidence to secure an arrest...

That's a really good point. I think the fact that Ayla's dad and Kyron's SM are so unlikeable and come across very poorly in the media is a huge factor though. On the surface MR doesn't present the same way. But there was a time when Trista & Desiree were ripped apart far more openly and severely than Elaine has been.

 

[MissJ]

Thank you I was saying that . Of course I know abduction happens but not when there are so many other coincidences .

Way way too many coincidences

 

[NSS]

Thanks to those who presented the other side of the coin. We all offer opinions and thoughts, which are based upon (and therefor limited by) our own experience.