Alethea
Verified Attorney
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2016
- Messages
- 5,220
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My neighbor was a long time Foster Mother. She took in 50 or 60 foster kids, many emergency placements. And they ended up adopting 10 children, to add to their 3 bio kids.
She used to come next door to rant and cry sometimes, and get some painful stuff off her chest, where the kids couldn't see her cry.
There were so many times that she cried about the kids being 'pawns' and she said that sometimes, when they went for family visits, the bio family would be angry about gifts the kids were given, or places they were taken for fun. Sometimes, if the kids were in possible transition back to families, they would have family weekend visits then return to the foster home and the social workers would then come and interview them about their visit. Often the children would cry and repeat mean and cruel, hateful things the family would tell them about the foster family. And they'd throw away and/or break any toys or new clothes they took on their visit.
It made it so difficult for the kids to feel stable or calm when at the foster home, when bio families were telling them that they were living with the enemy and those people should not be trusted.
You're breaking my heart. I don't think I would be able to let a child go if I were a foster parent. Any sign of an issue and I'd be sitting outside the bio parents' house spying, ready to call 911.