BBM. Any chance Dermot was simply institutionalized and placed in a mental institution? We have gone over the potential gay aspect, the not so "Leave it to Beaver" family, etc. Is there any chance this was in fact staged and Dermot was institutionalized? As we know, mental health issues were not well understood at the time. Often in cases of "gayness" or depression the blame was placed on the mother's lack of nurturing skills, etc.
Also...when we say "Case is closed"...If the family knows what happened, i.e. institutionalized and died there they do not want the case open, because they know what happened to him. Seriously, if the other children "knew" what happened to Dermot and the dad was abusive or Dermot killed himself and the scene was staged, once dear old dad died they would have come forward. If it was something like Dermot was "crazy" placed somewhere and died of what people usually died of in mental facilities (untreated medical stuff or violence) the family would not want to revisit the painful issue. ?
In my view, I think the family may not want to visit suicide as a possible issue because that would bring about pain in itself that they feel could never be repaired. I think sadly that Dermot died in the river that day, and that his death was probably a suicide. The family negative dynamics working against what Dermot wanted out of life are so strong that I think it is the most likely scenario. The Mother's side of the family at least focused on the things Dermot loved so much, The Hippie Movement, Music, Writing, Philosophy, his empathy. It was a coping mechanism that they used and continue to use in dealing with a life-long tragedy.
It is is easier for Dermot's loved ones and friends to channel their grief in a positive way. It helps them cope by thinking that Dermot found peace and happiness by leaving home to start a new life. Too painful for Dermot's friends and loved ones to accept the potential for Dermot's strict father driving Dermot to possibly take his own life, or even run away because Dermot couldn't deal with his father's demands any longer. The rest of the Kelly clan can't blame the father, at least not openly Dermot's Mother and kids still had to live with the man.
I do have an interesting take on the institutionalization theory that Lucy suggests. As many know, I also believe that Dermot's "treatment" in the fall of 1971 was for "family non-conformity issues." Due to the strong distance from Oglesby to Chicago over a period of about a month, (Ninety miles away,) the "treatment?" was not something that Dermot could receive at home. It could have been experimental, truly heartbreaking, and painful. I would even go so far as to say, if Dermot was sent for "conforming treatment" Dad's, "straighten "The Boy out." approach, Dermot may have been given controlling drugs or even shock treatment. Especially if it was revealed that Dermot was gay. This is an element of the case that if it existed, moves me to tears and keeps me awake at night when I think of Dermot's troubles.
Dad may have threatened to send Dermot away if Dermot did not comply, That could have been a reform school, it could have been a psychiatric hospital, (called mental institutions back in the early 70's.) But I don't think Dermot would allow himself to be controlled in such a cruel and insensitive way.
I personally think he would the family forever, before he would allow himself to be placed in a mental institution.
Why would Dad wait twenty years to go along with the charade in looking for Dermot if he knew that he had been institutionalized, and than have him declared legally dead at that time? Too much trauma to put his wife and children through something like that. Dad wouldn't spend money on his own legal resources, law enforcement, and two psychics looking for Dermot. I think the issues with Mr. Kelly were with Dermot and he, because their belief systems were so diametrically polarized, to where any compromise would be impossible, I don't think Mr. Kelly would be THAT COLD to put his wife and children through some charade.
There is a possibility that Dermot staged the scene and his disappearance, but, unlikely. One of the things that upset Dermot so much was hypocrisy in society. Saying one thing and doing another. Dermot hated that.
For years, I think Dermot's whole life existed between this escalating tension of trying to please his parents, live by their conservative views against his own personal liberal beliefs of peace, freedom, and love.
Dermot's love of the Hippie Movement also shows that if you ever research about Hippie Movement followers, they are very truthful, loyal, and honest. I see Dermot as very loyal, very emotional, very empathetic and very honest. He may even be blunt and direct, but he's going to search for making things "real" Keeping thins real. For him to stage something I think would go against his beliefs.
I think Dermot would say that he just wanted a permanent escape from the family life that had troubled him for so long. I think his main concern was freedom and he had to leave forever to accomplish that goal. I wonder if Dermot believed he had to kill himself, because if he didn't, Dad would seek him out, drag him back and Dermot would have the same kind of hellish life that he escaped from? Maybe Mr. Kelly threatened to send Dermot away, if he didn't "straighten up and fly right." This could have been even more additional pain that Dermot experienced, forcing him to leave.
There's so much pain from the other kids and Dermot's Mother that they never want to accept the horrifying possibility that Dermot is dead. I maintain that Asta's side if the family never wanted to accept suicide as a possible motive because her side could think that Dermot's Dad's temperament may have forced Dermot to that horror. Or at the very least, forced Dermot to run away. In Asta's obituary, it stated that "her first thoughts were always for her family." That to me indicates a very nurturing Mother. If Dermot had been institutionalized, why would the family reflect on Dermot running away to join the Hippie movement, and in that article published "Youth Fled Society, Not Home-Family." talk about not knowing what happened to Dermot? Had Dermot been institutionalized, I believe that nothing would have ever been published after Dermot left home.
There's the three theories that remain for what most likely happened to Dermot:
1.) Accidental Drowning and/or Hypothermia- I would believe this more of the history of Dermot's family dynamics were more along the life he wanted, but they weren't. Dermot's oral notice about starting a new life, his father's temperament, and Dermot's views that go so much against everything that were his parents' philosophies. Too much evidence to say this was an accident, although it is still out there as a possibility.
2.) Staged Disappearance- Possible, but I don't see Dermot as a deceiver. However, if it was staged, it could be that Dermot wanted those to believe with the shoes and jacket found at the river that he had died.
3.) Suicide- Most likely because of the pain in the home environment and the need for Dermot to flee without the possibility of ever being forced back home. Dermot gave notice of "Going away to start a new life for himself." I think sadly that this was the best way that Dermot believed he could distance himself from the family. The vagueness in the explanation, "I am going target shooting" gives Dermot a range of places to go without being checked on, which would not have been possible if he was going somewhere specific. There is no evidence that Dermot things away or do anything out of the ordinary leading up to that tragic afternoon of 1:30 PM, January 30, 1972. If Dermot committed suicide, maybe Dermot wanted to make his suicide look like an accident? I think in addition to so many personal conflicts and trauma in his life, Dermot saw himself as the "Black Sheep" of the family, Almost everything he did was "not good enough." Anything praise given to Dermot I think was only a temporary thing. Just like Dermot listening to music, or reading, or meditating, as long as he lived in the family home, anything that made him happy was only temporary. I think the father was so shamed and angered by how Dermot changed and rebelled against family expectations. His father's anger combined with Dermot's tears, Yes, I think Dermot shed MANY TEARS. The military Gun-Ho man in Dad sees this as a sign of weakness. I think that tension destroyed the family. I think in her later years, every time one of the children would talk about Dermot, Asta I could see breaking down and crying, so they have no choice but the only way to attempt to come together as a family is to say and think Dermot left to find peace and love.
The river evidence, for me at least, shows true horror. It's easy to see why the family would not want that as a part of published reports, I contacted the writer Dan who wrote that incredible piece about Dermot, and he thinks suicide by gunshot lead to Dermot's death. What he believes is that the gun found at the crime scene could be a critical piece of evidence. Dan said once that if a bullet had been logged into the chamber, it would give weight to Dermot dying of suicide. If there was no bullet lodged into the chamber, he thinks it could have been an accidental drowning. However, I recall him saying that he thinks Dermot died by suicide and he maintains that the evidence at the river supports this.
From what I remember, we both thought it most likely that Dermot took off his shoes and jacket to hasten the process, than shot himself at the river's edge and fell into the water. I am getting unpleasant chills just writing this. This is so awful. I think it is beyond comprehension with this teen had to go through. This case just rips at the heartstrings!
Satch
