Most of what you label "ridiculous studies" just sound ridiculous because that is the way the media reports them to you. As a scientist I get extremely frustrated at reading so-called science headlines in the popular press reduced to garbage such as the above. That study about bad hair days was more likely to have been about barometric pressure and humidity and its influence on mood stability in a at risk population. Maybe not your cup of tea, but certainly useful enough, even if not to you personally.
The money is not short... it is just corralled by the select few and the rest of the country is made to battle over the crumbs. That being said, I thought this article was a ploy to get the locals to be more supportive for law and order candidates who want bigger budgets in the next election. No one has ever not been tried, nor investigated for lack of funds. Let us not even entertain that thought.