katiecoolady
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2004
- Messages
- 9,177
- Reaction score
- 2,513
Another Sunday Morning Musings....sorry guys...just some thoughts.
I don't know about the rest of you but during this trial it's caused me to reflect on past relationships, how I handled the breakup, what were some of the most "psycho" things either I or my friends (or sister) did in those tumultuous breakup periods, things like that. Of course never once, did I ever for even a second think of harming the person who'd dumped me. I was more concerned about either a. strategizing how to get him back or b. how to find out where he was and show up in some hot outfit to make him realize what he's missing. Always they were just nutty concoctions girls to do make ourselves feel better because we always know when it's over, it's over and you're gonna hafta move on.
Last night I got to thinking of one of those romances from my first year in college. His name was Dave and we met in Poli Sci class and used to debate like cats and dogs in there. One day he approached me after class and we went for a beer later. Well it was a flash fire romance and I fell hard for him (he was really firey and cute and Irish). It didn't last long but right in the middle of that hot passionate initial stage, he went on a "fishing trip" and I found out not too long after, he'd really gone to (actually my home town) to visit his high school gf. And he shortly after that got back together w/ her.
I was devastated but I really didn't show it to him. I remember still maintaining a friendship. I really liked him. I thought I could do that but on the inside still was hoping he'd get her out of his system and we'd resume. He moved away and didn't come back the next year, we stayed in touch a bit. They broke up. He came to visit me one weekend but just as friends (I was really successful at hiding the fact I still really was in love with him on some level).
I remember he was even one of the influences in me moving from IL to AZ. He had visited here once and loved it. We corresponded a bit when I moved out here, real snail mail letters, before email. I once thought I'd seen him in a rest stop when I was back there visiting. I did still think about him over the years.
For some reason he's come back in to my mind during this trial and how I handled that breakup. And how it would have never occured to me to even approach his old/new girlfriend although I saw her at a party. She seemed like this tiny petite sweetheart studying Special Ed but I was intimidated and embarrassed to approach her as I still had feelings for him.
Anyway, (sorry so long) I couldn't shake this thinking of him yesterday and I was kind of just resting at home all day. So I searched his name and his hometown and found.........his obituary. tears tears tears.
He passed in 2011 at age 53. I even saw the old girlfriend, who'd married someone else on the obit comments. I saw his picture all these years later.
I don't know about you guys but somehow I always think that the people I knew in those younger years, well we'd all grow old together somehow.
I wonder how many of Cindy's friends feel that way now. I wonder if anyone has tried to look her up and found what they found. I wonder how many times this will happen for Travis' old friends as the years go on.
Tears streaming down my face.
Love never makes you feel like you want to hurt someone. You might embarrass and destroy your own self image sometimes in stupid grieving moves. But love never goes there, really.
I'm thinking this morning of all of us who've lost someone way too young. Of course Travis' friends and family. And how hard it is to still hold them in your heart but it's the one thing you can do.
I don't know about the rest of you but during this trial it's caused me to reflect on past relationships, how I handled the breakup, what were some of the most "psycho" things either I or my friends (or sister) did in those tumultuous breakup periods, things like that. Of course never once, did I ever for even a second think of harming the person who'd dumped me. I was more concerned about either a. strategizing how to get him back or b. how to find out where he was and show up in some hot outfit to make him realize what he's missing. Always they were just nutty concoctions girls to do make ourselves feel better because we always know when it's over, it's over and you're gonna hafta move on.
Last night I got to thinking of one of those romances from my first year in college. His name was Dave and we met in Poli Sci class and used to debate like cats and dogs in there. One day he approached me after class and we went for a beer later. Well it was a flash fire romance and I fell hard for him (he was really firey and cute and Irish). It didn't last long but right in the middle of that hot passionate initial stage, he went on a "fishing trip" and I found out not too long after, he'd really gone to (actually my home town) to visit his high school gf. And he shortly after that got back together w/ her.
I was devastated but I really didn't show it to him. I remember still maintaining a friendship. I really liked him. I thought I could do that but on the inside still was hoping he'd get her out of his system and we'd resume. He moved away and didn't come back the next year, we stayed in touch a bit. They broke up. He came to visit me one weekend but just as friends (I was really successful at hiding the fact I still really was in love with him on some level).
I remember he was even one of the influences in me moving from IL to AZ. He had visited here once and loved it. We corresponded a bit when I moved out here, real snail mail letters, before email. I once thought I'd seen him in a rest stop when I was back there visiting. I did still think about him over the years.
For some reason he's come back in to my mind during this trial and how I handled that breakup. And how it would have never occured to me to even approach his old/new girlfriend although I saw her at a party. She seemed like this tiny petite sweetheart studying Special Ed but I was intimidated and embarrassed to approach her as I still had feelings for him.
Anyway, (sorry so long) I couldn't shake this thinking of him yesterday and I was kind of just resting at home all day. So I searched his name and his hometown and found.........his obituary. tears tears tears.
He passed in 2011 at age 53. I even saw the old girlfriend, who'd married someone else on the obit comments. I saw his picture all these years later.
I don't know about you guys but somehow I always think that the people I knew in those younger years, well we'd all grow old together somehow.
I wonder how many of Cindy's friends feel that way now. I wonder if anyone has tried to look her up and found what they found. I wonder how many times this will happen for Travis' old friends as the years go on.
Tears streaming down my face.
Love never makes you feel like you want to hurt someone. You might embarrass and destroy your own self image sometimes in stupid grieving moves. But love never goes there, really.
I'm thinking this morning of all of us who've lost someone way too young. Of course Travis' friends and family. And how hard it is to still hold them in your heart but it's the one thing you can do.
