Good morning! :seeya:
I'm not going in to court today as I need to leave this afternoon for a little 2 night getaway so I just need to get a few things done before I head out. I'll watch on the feed though with the rest of yous.
I did wake up with some things on my mind about being a homicide survivor all these years and thought I would get them out of my head and on paper (screen).
25 years ago I had no idea what my life would be this far down the road. I couldn't imagine surviving it actually to be honest. Literally the very worst thing I could ever imagine befalling my life happened. The trials actually helped me cope as it gave me a place to focus my attention and a place to be very loudlyl distracted. Like Travis' family I was very active in our trials, got very close to our prosecutor and was as involved as I could be (I was also managing a full time job throughout the whole deal). I testified about 5 different times (they kept calling me back up).
In terms of siblings it was just my brother and me. We handled things completely differently. He didn't even attend the trials. He came out and went to one day I think of the sentencing hearing (to be fair he was living in Minnesota). He had his first serious psychotic break when the trials were over so I think he just knew he wouldn't be able to handle it. He still is sensitive like that.
In this trial there are SEVEN siblings. Each one will handle their grieving in their own unique way. Some will become more "active" in their lives to help themselves feel some kind of "purpose" out of the whole thing (like I do) and some will go on and try to forget it. All are valid ways to cope I think.
Often when people step out on the front lines (like Mark Klass for example) there is a lot of criticism that goes with that. Whether it's in a public way or in a more intimate way. People very close to Travis' siblings I guarantee you as they go along in their lives will tell them to "just get over it". I say this because that's pretty universal . People don't know how to process it or support someone ...it's not easy.
I'm actually kind of surprised that the outburst that happened on here last night didn't happen sooner. Those who were with me during the Scott Peterson trial saw WAY worse than that. There were whole forums dedicated to me and Jordy accusing us of being prostitutes, Mafia members, the most vile human beings on the face of the Earth because we were attending that trial. After we produced that photograph, it went off the charts.
After the trial someone hijacked my "katiecoolady" name and created a hate blog about me including, I hear (never saw it) a comic strip mocking my sister's murder. A lot of pain out there. Sociopaths will be drawn to a trial about a sociopath and they ARE walking among us, not just in a courtroom.
Being on the front lines also includes either being a naturally unaffected person (not me) or developing some teflon to it (that is me). Thankfully this forum doesn't invite much of that due to the snappy moderation system so it can't go on much or for long (thank you).
If any of Travis' siblings do choose to step out on the "front lines" after all this is over, I commend them and they will need our support as it's not always an easy road.
I've said before "murder is not contagious". People will scatter, some will move in close. In many ways, their grieving process will really begin once this trial/sentencing is over.
The ones who choose to fade back in to their lives also need the support of those around them for that choice. No one is obligated to do anything with a tragedy. If it helps you cope and give a sense of purpose, then it's valuable I think..for your own healing. But everyone has their own road.
Sorry for the lengthy PSA here...I just was thinking about the family as I woke up. Fyi I really don't have tons of direct interaction with them. It's a very quiet relationship. Many days the only interaction is a quiet smile and me silently handing them an envelope from a supporter that contains a card and $ that's been sent to me to pass on (and boy does that feel good). And when we do share, the majority of it goes unposted by me unless I think it can help them. Or I'm asked to pass it along.
Let's hope for a good court day today for the State....I think that's all I wanted to say.
Thanks for the love guys...it means more than you know.