My Mother In Law Has A Stalker

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notmoose86

notmoose86

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So...my mother in law has a stalker. I've known vaguely that she's been having issues with a guy that she dated for a few months (and previously worked with), but its come to my attention that its so much worse than just having vague issues.

The guy is a full blown sociopath, and honestly I'm terrified he's going to kill her once he's done emotionally destroying her. The law isn't really on her side here (she's in Georgia), because he hasn't physically harmed her.

Here's my question, and I'm hoping my fellow sleuthers can help me here: this guy keeps creating new Facebook accounts, and messaging her. Is there a way to find the IP address that the message has been sent from?
 
notmoose86 said:
The law isn't really on her side here (she's in Georgia), because he hasn't physically harmed her.
Click to expand...
The law is on her side. Most states, including Georgia, have cyberstalking laws. Here is some info:
Understanding Stalking Charges in the State of Georgia | Andersen, Tate & Carr
Stalking is no longer limited to traditional forms of contact, as it now encompasses new forms of electronic communication. . .

Stalking Charges

In the state of Georgia, a person commits the offense of stalking (O.C.G.A. § 16-5-90) when he or she follows, places under surveillance, or contacts another person at or near a place or places without the consent of the other person for the purpose of harassing and intimidating the other person. The means of contact can come in a wide variety of forms, including communication in person or by telephone, mail, broadcast, computer, computer network, or any other electronic device. Harassing and intimidating is defined as a deliberate course of conduct directed at an individual that causes emotional distress by placing a person in reasonable fear for their own safety, or for the safety of their immediate family, by establishing a pattern of harassing and intimidating behavior, and which serves no legitimate purpose.

Stalking & Cyberstalking - Valdosta State University
IF YOU ARE BEING CYBERSTALKED
  • Make it clear to the stalker that you do not want any contact. Provide this information only once.
  • Report the incident to the system administrator of both your Internet Service Provider (ISP) and, if you know, the ISP of the stalker/harasser.
  • Report the incident to your local law enforcement agency.
  • Document everything. Make copies of all correspondence sent to you. Do not edit or alter the information in any way.
  • Consider blocking or filtering messages from the stalker. Chat room contact can be blocked.
  • Clear out history information.
  • Use an alias in chat rooms, as most chat rooms have archives that can be accessed later by anyone.
  • Change your Internet/e-mail address.
  • Consider changing your ISP.
 
SeesSeas said:
The law is on her side. Most states, including Georgia, have cyberstalking laws. Here is some info:
Understanding Stalking Charges in the State of Georgia | Andersen, Tate & Carr
Stalking is no longer limited to traditional forms of contact, as it now encompasses new forms of electronic communication. . .

Stalking Charges

In the state of Georgia, a person commits the offense of stalking (O.C.G.A. § 16-5-90) when he or she follows, places under surveillance, or contacts another person at or near a place or places without the consent of the other person for the purpose of harassing and intimidating the other person. The means of contact can come in a wide variety of forms, including communication in person or by telephone, mail, broadcast, computer, computer network, or any other electronic device. Harassing and intimidating is defined as a deliberate course of conduct directed at an individual that causes emotional distress by placing a person in reasonable fear for their own safety, or for the safety of their immediate family, by establishing a pattern of harassing and intimidating behavior, and which serves no legitimate purpose.

Stalking & Cyberstalking - Valdosta State University
IF YOU ARE BEING CYBERSTALKED
  • Make it clear to the stalker that you do not want any contact. Provide this information only once.
  • Report the incident to the system administrator of both your Internet Service Provider (ISP) and, if you know, the ISP of the stalker/harasser.
  • Report the incident to your local law enforcement agency.
  • Document everything. Make copies of all correspondence sent to you. Do not edit or alter the information in any way.
  • Consider blocking or filtering messages from the stalker. Chat room contact can be blocked.
  • Clear out history information.
  • Use an alias in chat rooms, as most chat rooms have archives that can be accessed later by anyone.
  • Change your Internet/e-mail address.
  • Consider changing your ISP.
Click to expand...
What I mean by the law not being on her side is that she cannot get a protective order of any kind. This has been stated to her over and over by law enforcement and the DA. He hasn’t physically caused her harm as of yet, so they won’t give her the order of protection. Key word is yet, he’s escalating, the violence is coming.
 
My heart goes out to her and her loved ones.

The same thing applies in NC. The stalker has to utter words of harm to the victim or that he may cause harm to himself!

Two years was a long time for my ex to stalk me! He could go into any place I did as long as he purchased an item.
This only reinforced my opinion that laws are made for the bad person. He had to hurt me or threaten me for the law to protect me. My question always to my lawyer was “who will believe me if he threatens me?” He will deny it!

Good Luck!
 
notmoose86 said:
What I mean by the law not being on her side is that she cannot get a protective order of any kind. This has been stated to her over and over by law enforcement and the DA. He hasn’t physically caused her harm as of yet, so they won’t give her the order of protection. Key word is yet, he’s escalating, the violence is coming.
Click to expand...

GA law is very similar to FL law, and in FL there are protective injunctions regularly issued for cyberstalking.
Your MIL may want to consult an attorney, rather than LE or the DA. In FL, these injunctions are issued through the domestic division of civil court; the state attorney is not involved; decision is made by a judge.
GA laws below. Key phrase is "a pattern of harassing and intimidating behavior, and which serves no legitimate purpose"
https://advance.lexis.com/documentpage/?pdmfid=1000516&crid=2a8e40f5-1bfe-4e1a-8bcb-c4181723a233&config=00JAA1MDBlYzczZi1lYjFlLTQxMTgtYWE3OS02YTgyOGM2NWJlMDYKAFBvZENhdGFsb2feed0oM9qoQOMCSJFX5qkd&pddocfullpath=/shared/document/statutes-legislation/urn:contentItem:5NYG-G910-004D-82TJ-00008-00&pddocid=urn:contentItem:5NYG-G910-004D-82TJ-00008-00&pdcontentcomponentid=234186&pdteaserkey=sr5&pditab=allpods&ecomp=-kzvkkk&earg=sr5&prid=d5f74b60-2796-43e5-9e34-7758994d8791
§ 16-5-94. Restraining orders; protective orders
(a) A person who is not a minor who alleges stalking by another person may seek a restraining order by filing a petition alleging conduct constituting stalking as defined in Code Section 16-5-90. A person who is not a minor may also seek relief on behalf of a minor by filing such a petition.
(b) Jurisdiction for such a petition shall be the same as for family violence petitions as set out in Code Section 19-13-2.
(c) Upon the filing of a verified petition in which the petitioner alleges with specific facts that probable cause exists to establish that stalkingby the respondent has occurred in the past and may occur in the future, the court may order such temporary relief ex parte as it deems necessary to protect the petitioner or a minor of the household from stalking. If the court issues an ex parte order, a copy of the order shall be immediately furnished to the petitioner.
(d) The court may grant a protective order or approve a consent agreement to bring about a cessation of conduct constituting stalking. Orders or agreements may:
(1) Direct a party to refrain from such conduct;
(2) Order a party to refrain from harassing or interfering with the other;
(3) Award costs and attorney's fees to either party; and
(4) Order either or all parties to receive appropriate psychiatric or psychological services as a further measure to prevent the recurrence of stalking.

https://advance.lexis.com/documentpage/?pdmfid=1000516&crid=1c60afec-6c75-4d14-bebc-bcb3d9653c5e&pdistocdocslideraccess=true&config=00JAA1MDBlYzczZi1lYjFlLTQxMTgtYWE3OS02YTgyOGM2NWJlMDYKAFBvZENhdGFsb2feed0oM9qoQOMCSJFX5qkd&pddocfullpath=/shared/document/statutes-legislation/urn:contentItem:5NYG-GGH0-004D-843G-00008-00&pdcomponentid=234187&pdtocnodeidentifier=AAQAAGAAIAAC&ecomp=v5hfkkk&prid=eb368c61-2cd4-419d-8c30-b1663190462b
§ 16-5-90. Stalking; psychological evaluation
(a)
(1) A person commits the offense of stalking when he or she follows, places under surveillance, or contacts another person at or about a place or places without the consent of the other person for the purpose of harassing and intimidating the other person. For the purpose of this article, the terms "computer" and "computer network" shall have the same meanings as set out in Code Section 16-9-92; the term "contact" shall mean any communication including without being limited to communication in person, by telephone, by mail, by broadcast, by computer, by computer network, or by any other electronic device; and the place or places that contact by telephone, mail, broadcast, computer, computer network, or any other electronic device is deemed to occur shall be the place or places where such communication is received. For the purpose of this article, the term "place or places" shall include any public or private property occupied by the victim other than the residence of the defendant. For the purposes of this article, the term "harassing and intimidating" means a knowing and willful course of conduct directed at a specific person which causes emotional distress by placing such person in reasonable fear for such person's safety or the safety of a member of his or her immediate family, by establishing a pattern of harassing and intimidating behavior, and which serves no legitimate purpose. This Code section shall not be construed to require that an overt threat of death or bodily injury has been made.
 
More -
How To Get A Restraining Order In Georgia
How To Get A Restraining Order In Georgia
October 25, 2016
Whether you’ve acquired a stalker or you need to protect you or your children from a menacing family member, restraining orders are a legal and formal way of saying “stay away.” Find out if you should file for a restraining order in Georgia and what it involves.

What Can a Restraining Order Do for Me?
Restraining orders, also called protection orders, are issued by court telling people to do or not do certain things. This can be anything from telling property owners to keep down the noise to keeping harassers at bay. If you are in a threatening situation judges can use restraining orders to prohibit abusive people from contacting (or hurting) you.

Protect Your Family
In Georgia, a civil restraining order is also known as a "Family Violence Protection Order." Restraining orders offer you legal protection from domestic violence, harassment, depletion of assets or trademark infringement. It prohibits the offender from having contact with you for a specified period of time. If the offender violates a restraining order, it’s a crime and he or she could be jailed and charged with more than one crime.
  • © GeorgiaGov
 
notmoose86 said:
So...my mother in law has a stalker. I've known vaguely that she's been having issues with a guy that she dated for a few months (and previously worked with), but its come to my attention that its so much worse than just having vague issues.

The guy is a full blown sociopath, and honestly I'm terrified he's going to kill her once he's done emotionally destroying her. The law isn't really on her side here (she's in Georgia), because he hasn't physically harmed her.

Here's my question, and I'm hoping my fellow sleuthers can help me here: this guy keeps creating new Facebook accounts, and messaging her. Is there a way to find the IP address that the message has been sent from?
Click to expand...

Can she afford to go see a lawyer for advice? A lawyer may be able to advise her what to do.

If local police are not helping, how about the State Police?

What you can do is to go along with her when she talks to any authorities. And your husband too. To back her up.
 
I found the public record access to Cobb County, GA Civil Cases for Stalking Injunctions. Here are recent examples 5/31/18 to 6/22/18:
Web Courts Inquiry
View
Plaintiffs
Defendants
Case Type
Case Title
File Date
Case Number
Judge
DAMPIER RACHAEL [P] ,
DAMPIER RACHAEL [P] ,
FARLEY NYASIA [P]
STONE ASHLEY [D]
STALKING
DAMPIER RACHAEL v STONE ASHLEY
05/31/2018
18104016
UNASSIGNED
WOODS MONIQUE [P]
YOUNG ERRON [D]
STALKING
WOODS MONIQUE v YOUNG ERRON
06/01/2018
18104064
UNASSIGNED
BENN LAUREN [P]
MULLINS DURRIYYAH [D]
STALKING
BENN LAUREN v MULLINS DURRIYYAH
06/01/2018
18104079
UNASSIGNED
SMITH TRACY [P]
PFEFFER KEVIN [D]
STALKING
SMITH TRACY v PFEFFER KEVIN
06/01/2018
18104080
UNASSIGNED
GRANILLO ELSA [P]
PFEFFER KEVIN [D]
STALKING
GRANILLO ELSA v PFEFFER KEVIN
06/01/2018
18104081
UNASSIGNED
GYIMAH VANESSAH [P]
COLE JIMMY VEANTAY [D]
STALKING
GYIMAH VANESSAH v COLE JIMMY VEANTAY
06/04/2018
18104118
UNASSIGNED
KASSAM MONA [P]
PFEFFER KEVIN [D]
STALKING
KASSAM MONA v PFEFFER KEVIN
06/04/2018
18104119
UNASSIGNED
CURRY JILL [P]
PFEFFER KEVIN [D]
STALKING
CURRY JILL v PFEFFER KEVIN
06/04/2018
18104120
UNASSIGNED
KEEL AMY [P]
PFEFFER KEVIN [D]
STALKING
KEEL AMY v PFEFFER KEVIN
06/04/2018
18104121
UNASSIGNED
NARUKA VAISHALEE [P]
NAGATHIL ROOPESH [D]
STALKING
NARUKA VAISHALEE v NAGATHIL ROOPESH
06/05/2018
18104151
UNASSIGNED
GARRETT ROBERT [P]
JACKSON LITHARO [D]
STALKING
GARRETT ROBERT v JACKSON LITHARO
06/08/2018
18104284
UNASSIGNED
DAVIDSON AMANDA [P]
RANALLI MARK ANTHONY [D]
STALKING
DAVIDSON AMANDA v RANALLI MARK ANTHONY
06/11/2018
18104325
UNASSIGNED
MADDOX JASHALYNN [P]
SMITH TEVIN EARLANDEZ [D]
STALKING
MADDOX JASHALYNN v SMITH TEVIN EARLANDEZ
06/12/2018
18104390
UNASSIGNED
COPELAND REGINALD [P]
MORRIS GEORGE ANDY [D]
STALKING
COPELAND REGINALD v MORRIS GEORGE ANDY
06/12/2018
18104396
UNASSIGNED
HARRIS TRACEY R [P]
COOPER GLORIA FAYE [D]
STALKING
HARRIS TRACEY R v COOPER GLORIA FAYE
06/12/2018
18104397
UNASSIGNED
LAINE ANNALEIGH GRACE [P]
ZWIJACZ THEODORE CARL [D]
STALKING
LAINE ANNALEIGH GRACE v ZWIJACZ THEODORE CARL
06/12/2018
18104398
UNASSIGNED
WELLS TAMALA LYNN [P]
HIGDON MALCOLM FRANKLIN HENRY [D]
STALKING
WELLS TAMALA LYNN v HIGDON MALCOLM FRANKLIN HENRY
06/12/2018
18104399
UNASSIGNED
KUHN ELIZABETH J [P]
CHINTELLA BLAIR [D]
STALKING
KUHN ELIZABETH J v CHINTELLA BLAIR
06/14/2018
18104464
UNASSIGNED
MAXIAN SHANNON [P]
GRESHAM NORRIS BERNARD [D]
STALKING
MAXIAN SHANNON v GRESHAM NORRIS BERNARD
06/20/2018
18104629
UNASSIGNED
ANGELES ALFONSO [P]
SMITH PAULA JOANN [D]
STALKING
ANGELES ALFONSO v SMITH PAULA JOANN
06/22/2018
18104692
UNASSIGNED
 
notmoose86 said:
So...my mother in law has a stalker. I've known vaguely that she's been having issues with a guy that she dated for a few months (and previously worked with), but its come to my attention that its so much worse than just having vague issues.

The guy is a full blown sociopath, and honestly I'm terrified he's going to kill her once he's done emotionally destroying her. The law isn't really on her side here (she's in Georgia), because he hasn't physically harmed her.

Here's my question, and I'm hoping my fellow sleuthers can help me here: this guy keeps creating new Facebook accounts, and messaging her. Is there a way to find the IP address that the message has been sent from?
Click to expand...

Info here

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1...j0i67k1j0i131i20i264k1j0i10k1.102.b3BoQhn32N8

but be real careful pls

what kind of stuff is he doing on fb

if they are no longer formally consensually together what about:

i dont know this just hit me i know nothing about fb but was thinking one of two things if he is doing physical stalking maybe a pretend cop uniform on a friend he has never seen you could post some pics of her hanging out with her new cop friend but dont make it anything like it has to do with stalker but then i thought if jealosuy is his forte that could make everything worse

or maybe same scenario with a female that is humm humm a cop

the friend would only have to play dress up once and they go to five or six places take pics eating or whatever and post em over time is all that stuff timestamped all this madness just hit me when the thought hummm how can they use technology to maybe make him back off

is he educated would he get if she made a new friend female that works for the agecny that monitors internet stalking cant be anything overt just a new friend that may slow him down

but it is all only just met a new friend like vague i may not have a clue what I am talking about !

just trying to think of a very passive way without any direct conflict to possibly make him think it might be better to back


or possibly just rambling here another friend pretending that she has been trying to find a high school buddy and that female friends posts to her whatever it is called really lightly

hey remebmer i have been trying to find susy waterloo from high school i found this cool tool anyone looking to find a lost freind here is the link to an IP tracer something like

again we dont wanna get her killed but a gently way to maybe scare him off without direct accusing

i thought on fb you could place people on ignore or make it pribate or stuff like that does not that work with this ill person

lighting is a real deterent it is a fact if we are talking physical stalking they make light for outside that dont need wiring

https://www.amazon.com/Mr-Beams-Wir..._lf_m_gwhacam868894t6_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&s=hi

Landscape wisely. Put up motion detecting outdoor lights. Install window and door alarms. Put in smarter locks. Installfake security cameras

there are also those fall down monitoring systems where if you fall or stroke etc one button and an operator comes on and gets you help

i just did it in here there are buttons you can put up in bathroom kitchen above bed

just ways to mildly deter and have access to help instnagly


i think stalking laws have changed he is doing any in person stalking

this stuff is super scary just some stuff that came to mind dont know if any of it makes any sense

i hope all remains safe
 
notmoose86 said:
What I mean by the law not being on her side is that she cannot get a protective order of any kind. This has been stated to her over and over by law enforcement and the DA. He hasn’t physically caused her harm as of yet, so they won’t give her the order of protection. Key word is yet, he’s escalating, the violence is coming.
Click to expand...


imo none of that does anything but escalate them how many cases do we see where a restraining order way issued and then what

like what 89 percent of hurt people had a restraing order on them

i think restraining orders were effective 50 years ago when the world was less insane and a visit from a cop was a deterrent now it seems that same visit escates them

a taser
that is why I went with very subtle deterrents and or focusing on making her better to protect herself and get help quickly

what kind of stuff is he actually doing

is there drugs previous jail drinking domestic violence in past

what does he do
 
Last edited:
notmoose86 said:
So...my mother in law has a stalker. I've known vaguely that she's been having issues with a guy that she dated for a few months (and previously worked with), but its come to my attention that its so much worse than just having vague issues.

The guy is a full blown sociopath, and honestly I'm terrified he's going to kill her once he's done emotionally destroying her. The law isn't really on her side here (she's in Georgia), because he hasn't physically harmed her.

Here's my question, and I'm hoping my fellow sleuthers can help me here: this guy keeps creating new Facebook accounts, and messaging her. Is there a way to find the IP address that the message has been sent from?
Click to expand...

So sorry to read this about you MIL.

IMHO she should up her privacy levels at FB and not let strangers message her. Or make a new account for herself and keep that very private. Facebook is a goldmine for stalkers, so it is good to stay away there anyway.
 
Is he physically close by

Georgia’s stalking laws classify the first offense of stalking as a misdemeanor

now he is really pissed look at the money YOU cost me same cycle as domestic violence

then on the very same page

Charged With Stalking? Get in Touch With an Attorney Today

Stalking can be charged as a misdemeanor or a felony and can be done over a variety of communication mediums. So before you send that next text message to your ex-partner, know the law. If you find you need legal advice or assistance regarding an issue with stalking, you may want to contact a Georgia criminal defense attorney near you.

Georgia Stalking Laws - FindLaw
 
Last edited:
How I wish I knew where in Georgia this was.. I have a feeling that what the OP might be referring to when she says the "law isn't really on her side" isn't the actual written "Law" it is the "good ol' boy" mentality of some small towns. I went to college in Georgia and saw it first hand myself. The below links will provide some resources that might be helpful

Help for Victims

Georgia
 
Thank you everyone for your advice.

Here is an UPDATE that I got about 6am this morning from my MIL:

Apparently the Stalker posted a Craigslist ad with her current boyfriend's (we'll call him Doug) name on it, with the boyfriend appearing to solicit for sex. This was found out because Doug's work (he's a teacher) called to ask about it. The ad has seemed to disappear, like everything else that the Stalker touches online. For someone who, honestly I wouldn't have deemed as being very smart, he's pretty internet savvy, because he's a complete ghost online.
So, the Stalker has approached Doug's ex-wife on Facebook to the point that she blocked him, so then he started approaching Doug's fairly young children. Now, the children won't talk to their father; AND the ex-wife is convinced that Doug and my MIL have been having a years long affair. Which isn't true, they met maybe two months ago.

We asked the ex-wife for screen shots of the Craigslist ad, but she said and I quote "she won't help a *advertiser censored*".

Doug has since broken up with my MIL, saying that he's scared for his family and his career, and asked her to stay away from him in order to protect his family. As much as I'm hurting for my MIL, I can't blame him.

I'm over this guy. I'm pissed, and I didn't sleep well last night, because as much as I loved Dateline, I'm not interested in being on an episode. This guy is escalating, and fast.

MIL will be here this weekend, which is good, at least she's safe here I guess. FYI, for those who have asked, we live in different states, about 8 hours away from each other. My husband is in the military. I wish I could be with her all the time.
 
Hi Notmoose, I wonder how the stalker knows that your MIL had a boyfriend named Doug? The name of his ex-wife? the names of his children?
Unless they were all one big happy family, this raises some flags. When your MIL arrives, please check with her all clues that she might be leaving on the internet or IRL, because that is how she might be contributing to her own misery. Before she leaves, tell her not to tell anyone that she does.

Now I do not know you or your MIL, so I'm not suggesting that she did anything wrong. I do want to share some of my own experience with you and maybe you find it helpful.

We had some friends who were being stalked at a certain time. (Different friends, different times, very different stalkers.) They were told (one by an expert, the other by LE) to take certain actions and to stop doing other things.

J, a woman, finally got a new phone, but kept the other and listened to messages just in case someone might call in an emergency. Friends almost exploded in disbelief, because the stalker was the only one who called her on the old phone.
W, a man, was told to cut off all contact. Which he did, but after a few weeks, he read and answered an email from his stalker because he thought she had mellowed down. Of course she hadn't.

In the case of W, stalker and he had mutual friends. And these mutual friends played a dubious role. They informed the stalker about W and brought him some very nasty message of her. They apologized for doing so, we're not happy about it but this is what [stalker] gave us to give to you. It beggars belief, perhaps this was their idea of not taking sides, but that is how the world turns apparently.

The good news is that these cases are in the past, and that both stalkers backed off. That took some effort and persistence, and it wasn't easy, but each victim found a way out.

Your MIL's stalker deserves a restraining order solely for contacting Doug's young children. How low can you go? This man has to be stopped.

 
A restraining order is nice, but really, how many cases on here did the women have the order and she is dead?

Can she move?

She needs to install cameras and take photos or whatever so she has documentation.
 
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