NC - Family charged in decade-long sexual abuse of girl, Perquimans County, May 2014

[Linda7NJ]

So before we start feeling bad for these 'children' who were groomed to commit the abuse (and bless you for sharing your story katydid, that was brave, hugs to you!) let's remember that the abuse only stopped a year or so ago. The oldest son is 27, the youngest are 19. So no matter how you slice it, it was still going on LONG past the time when childhood innocence or childhood manipulated could somehow mitigate the responsibility.

They weren't living in a cave shut off from the entire outside world, they went out to church if nowhere else, they knew raping their little sister was wrong.

ETA:

So just in case my point wasn't clear, the girl is now 16, her oldest brother is 27 and the youngest pair of brothers is 19. The abuse went on from when she was 4 to 15, so it only stopped a year ago. That means that some or all of these MEN who were at that point ranging in age from 18 to 26 were raping their little sister. As I said, maybe if it all happened when they were all much much younger and stopped many years ago that would be one thing (maybe.) But at the ages they all where when this was still going on they were all old enough to make their own decisions, and the decisions they made were evil. Not that the parents aren't just as bad, if not worse.

Oh please oh please don't misinterpret my opinion...I hold the sons fully responsible for their actions , they ain't getting a pass or much sympathy from me!



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[1&2&3]

Why would a judge give these parents such a low bail?!! They knew what was going on and permitted it. Is that not called child endangerment and child abuse?

And I would bet every ounce of blood in my body that father was included in the rape of this child! There is no way that six sons abused this precious little girl without father in on the abuse too! No way! In their religious beliefs, the children will honor thy parents and not tell on dad.

What do you bet, the parents will not allow a DNA test to see who the father of the baby is just in case it is good old dad? GRRRR, this upsets me to no end! How could any parent let this happen! Throw them in jail forever because they ruined seven children's lives and a baby yet to be born has no business being around these adults!

My opinions only!

 

[HMSHood]

I'd bet they're fundamentalist /patriarchal ....


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Not surprised by that one bit.

 

[bamacurious]

True, but it all has to be taken in the context of said boys childhoods. It is hard to explain if you did not grow up in a sick, dysfunctional, family of child abusers. But they would have been wholly indoctrinated, and groomed and trained and brainwashed that they were LOVING the sister, not harming her.

It would not have seemed like rape to them. She might have even been compliant and appeared willing because she was trained to be so. It is hard to explain. I was hypersexualized as a child and even initiated some sexual play with other kids because i did not see it as wrong. Looking back, it would make me an aggressor, but it was actually me as a victim, if that makes sense.

Katydid...it does make sense and I am so sorry that this has happened to you...I know the feeling all too well. Hugs from a fellow victim. It's hard to live with and it changes you but I am a survivor of very similar happenings so hooray for us!

 

[Jacie Estes]

Of course, and I am not meaning to give them a complete pass. Just saying that if one is brought up by two evil scumbags, then one might be groomed in such a way that it takes awhile to understand right from wrong. And by then, you have committed evil illegal immoral actions for your entire life, so then what do you do?

I spent years going to various support groups for incest survivors and heard many many stories. And many survivors that partook in said actions were taught by sick family members that it was normal and loving to have relations with siblings or cousins. And even upon maturing it is very difficult to accept that hard truth of it. Much easier to stay in denial.

BBM We don't know, there may have been contact between the boys and the parents, as well.

 

[Jacie Estes]

I have a question about the pastor. I know they have the same shield a lawyer or doctor would have, about confidentiality. They are required in many cases to keep confidentialities they don't want to keep and are uncomfortable with keeping.

But I don't think this extends to ongoing child abuse. Aren't pastors mandatory reporters? Why did the pastor only council the young man to go to the police? Why not report it himself?

If the young man had confessed to murder, I think the pastor would be shielded by his confidentiality law. But "ongoing" child abuse - is ANYONE shielded from reporting that?

Religious Officials
Some states’ reporting laws explicitly
include clergy among the people who are
mandated to report child abuse or neglect.
In other states clergy are explicitly
exempted from the duty to report, at
least to the extent that the information
they have derives from “pastoral
communications.”13 North Carolina’s
statute has no provision relating
specifically to religious officials and the
duty to report; therefore, they apparently
are included in the mandate that “any
person” with cause to suspect child abuse,
neglect, or dependency make a report to
the department of social services.14 A
religious official, like everyone else, has a
duty to report child abuse, neglect, or
dependency regardless of that official’s
relationship to the child.Whether
mistreatment of a child by a religious
official is abuse or neglect that must be
reported to the social services department
depends on whether that official is the
child’s parent, guardian, custodian, or
caretaker. (The definition of “caretaker”
is discussed in Chapter 4.)
North Carolina law relating to the
competence of witnesses to testify in
court has long recognized a clergy–
communicant privilege.15 Unlike most
other statutory privileges, the clergy–
communicant privilege does not include
either an exception for child abuse and
neglect cases or authority for the court to
compel disclosure upon finding that
disclosure is necessary to a proper
administration of justice.16 Before July 1,
1999, the Juvenile Code explicitly overrode
certain specified privileges—for example,
husband–wife and doctor–patient—but
not the clergy–communicant privilege.
Since July 1, 1999, however, the Juvenile
Code has provided unequivocally that no
privilege, except the narrow attorney–
client privilege, is grounds for failing to
report suspected abuse, neglect, or
dependency or for excluding evidence in a
case involving the abuse, neglect, or
dependency of a child.17
Confidential communications between
a person and his or her rabbi, minister,
priest, or other religious confidant might
be viewed as part of that individual’s
exercise of his or her religious freedom. A
legal challenge to the application of the
reporting law to clergy made on that basis
would require a court to balance the
individual’s interest in exercising that right
against the state’s objectives in requiring
clergy to report.18

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=...SRz4CA-A6v13iPOTe68C4aw&bvm=bv.66699033,d.b2k

 

[tlcya]

One of the articles I read ( and it is late so I can say it was an embedded link withing the huffpost story on this case but I cannot/will not seek it out tonight) had quotes from teh pastor. Basically he says he told the son that confessed to him that he himself would have no choice but to report this situation. He then went on to encourage the young man to himself report the abuse to LE and the pastor would help him do so/ So yes, the pastor seemed to indicate he had shared with the young man who confessed to him that he (the pastor) would be forced to report if the man himself did not.

 

[Minette]

Dear katydid, I did grow up in a sick, dysfunctional family of child abusers. I believe that many of us who gravitate to WS and especially a certain type of case did. And no matter what the conditioning I received, as I grew older I realized that I could --and had to-- make my own moral decisions and choices for my life. I have no doubt that there are some abusers who are coerced into doing abhorrent things while young, but I maintain that no matter what crazy or hurtful things may have been shown/taught to us as children, we still have the ability and the responsibility to make our own choices as we grow up.

Otherwise, how could we ever hold anyone responsible for a crime who had had a bad upbringing or experienced trauma as a child? Prisons are full of people who had bad upbringings and experienced abuse, but the main point is that MOST of us who had those things done to us don't do them to others. By FAR (and I can link stats if anyone insists but I'll have to look them up tomorrow) people who are sexually abused as children do NOT go on to sexually abuse others.

We aren't mindless automatons--we can make our own moral choices. Thank goodness.

I don't know how most of us turned out so (relatively?) well, but thank goodness we did. Huge hugs to anyone else who is finding this topic extremely triggering--I've had to walk away a few times tonight even if I'm not as brave as katydid and others.

:rose: to all of us.

 

[gxm]

I blame the parents more than the boys. If she was only four, then they were young as well. I think they were brainwashed and convinced it was 'the way' the family does things.

And I am a victim of childhood abuse/incest, so I don't take these things lightly. But I think these boys might be victims as well. The parents should be locked up forever.

There appears to be an 11 year age difference between the victim and the oldest brother. He would have been 15 when he started sexually abusing his 4-year old sister. Old enough to know better. I do not see the brothers as victims here. IMO they are just as guilty as the parents.

 

[gxm]

The boys were probably groomed at a young age. they were probably sexually abused by the parents also and 'taught' that it was a way of showing love for the family. The girl would have been the recipient of their 'love', not their abuse, and the boys would have been told they were teaching her about her role in life. That is how much incest is rationalized in families, to convince the children to keep it secret, within the family. And they may have been forced to take part in this love fest. thus the one child finally told someone.

My uncle convinced 2 other kids to take part in my abuse, and as adults they were horrified and apologetic. But I dont hold them responsible. He groomed them and manipulated them. pedos are often very intelligent and borderlines so they are highly manipulative.

What has been reported is that the brothers confessed to raping their little sister. We can only assume that they did not mention being abused themselves otherwise the parents would be sitting in jail with their sons and not out on $15,000 bond.

If the brothers were abused by the parents then we will see heavier charges brought against the parents. But right now, only the brothers have been charged with rape. JMO, OMO, MOO.

 

[gxm]

Of course, and I am not meaning to give them a complete pass. Just saying that if one is brought up by two evil scumbags, then one might be groomed in such a way that it takes awhile to understand right from wrong. And by then, you have committed evil illegal immoral actions for your entire life, so then what do you do?

I spent years going to various support groups for incest survivors and heard many many stories. And many survivors that partook in said actions were taught by sick family members that it was normal and loving to have relations with siblings or cousins. And even upon maturing it is very difficult to accept that hard truth of it. Much easier to stay in denial.

Good grief, every one of that poor girl's brothers sexually abused her. They are all sick, the parents and the sons. They don't get a pass from me and, thankfully, not from the law either.

 

[JeannaT]

What has been reported is that the brothers confessed to raping their little sister. We can only assume that they did not mention being abused themselves otherwise the parents would be sitting in jail with their sons and not out on $15,000 bond.

If the brothers were abused by the parents then we will see heavier charges brought against the parents. But right now, only the brothers have been charged with rape. JMO, OMO, MOO.

I agree. There doesn't seem to be any evidence at all that the parents were involved beyond the mother apparently knowing. There was a statement from one of the brothers that the mother once witnessed an assault and turned and walked away. I haven't seen any mention, at all, of the father's role.

My guess, is if the parents actively encouraged and participated their bail would be a lot higher. The sheriff in the town made a statement of regret that he feels the parents in their supervisory role should get more jail time but they won't.

I don't think it's going to turn out that the parents participated in the sex.

I think this is going to turn out to be like a "lord of the flies" situation where absolutely no one was supervising the children and they all ran loose. When the older brother started abusing the sister no one was there to stop him and it continued and the younger kids participated. These "home schooled" kids apparently got zero home schooling. I think it will turn out the mother sat in a darkened bedroom all day long and didn't function in any supervisory role at all.

 

[Grammar]

Both of my kids were home schooled. There is very little oversight by the public education system. You can use whatever curriculum you want. The kids are tested yearly to ensure they meet grade level standards. My kids know that incest is wrong and gross. They also know, understand, accept, and live by acceptable social norms. Some home school kids get little, if any, schooling or guidance. Most get average schooling and guidance. Some receive superior education and guidance. The same thing happens in the public school system.

I knew a family who sent their kids to public school. The father and brothers engaged in frequent sexual activity with the daughters/sisters. The daughters were prostituted and had sex with their johns in junk cars in the yard. I knew nothing of any of this until the family left the state to avoid DCF. The kids were supposed to be in the custody of their paternal grandparents. DCF was supposed to be overseeing. Neither happened. The neighbors knew what was going on but never called anyone about it.

 

[al66pine]

IIUC, abuse occurred for years in NC.
One brother told pastor about it.
Either pastor or brother reported to NC SO/LE about it.
NC SO/LE began investigation.
Parents refused to allow SO/LE to interview daughter/victim.

Entire family moved to CO (presumably in part to avoid further investigation) for months or a yr.
Or only some of family???

How did NC SO/LE get everyone back to NC?

Thx in adv.

 

[rob]

I'm thinking that maybe the parents raised the kids the way they had been raised. Maybe the parents are siblings? Is this any different from the Morman groups (some of them, not all), where the parents give their 12 yr old daughter to a 70 yr old for his 20th wife?
Until more comes out, I'm not going to form an opinion. Everyone here is a loser in this, especially the daughter, who probably just found out this was wrong.
I'm also not going to blame a religion, any religion, cause it seems the pastor did the right thing.
All MOO

 

[SStarr33]

IIUC, abuse occurred for years in NC.
One brother told pastor about it.
Either pastor or brother reported to NC SO/LE about it.
NC SO/LE began investigation.
Parents refused to allow SO/LE to interview daughter/victim.

Entire family moved to CO (presumably in part to avoid further investigation) for months or a yr.
Or only some of family???

How did NC SO/LE get everyone back to NC?

Thx in adv.

The family came back at the request of LE

 

[SStarr33]

I'm thinking that maybe the parents raised the kids the way they had been raised. Maybe the parents are siblings? Is this any different from the Morman groups (some of them, not all), where the parents give their 12 yr old daughter to a 70 yr old for his 20th wife?
Until more comes out, I'm not going to form an opinion. Everyone here is a loser in this, especially the daughter, who probably just found out this was wrong.
I'm also not going to blame a religion, any religion, cause it seems the pastor did the right thing.
All MOO

Agree. Sexual abuse happens with the religious and the non-religious as well as the home-schooled, private schooled and public schooled.

 

[SStarr33]

Unbelievable! Doesn't the Education Department oversee home schooling and is there not a set curriculum that they must pass?

It looks like this family never socialized outside the home. Seven children without proper
life skills.

Do parents have to have some higher education to be able to home school?

I am totally flabbergasted with the mother. How could she allow 6 grown men to sexually abuse her daughter? So, how did it all start? JMOO

Do some reading about the percentage of kids who graduate from public school in NYC who cannot read properly etc....

 

[1&2&3]

Some informative information from http://wtkr.com/2014/05/12/six-brothers-parents:

*the parents would not allow the child to speak to LE when they went to the house before the move to Colorado
*the daughter sought help from Child Protective Services in Colorado
And
“Their leaving Colorado sealed their fate because ultimately Social Services stepped in and got the girl out of the home. Then we were able to do an interview. So if that hadn’t happened, we probably wouldn’t be making the arrest we made now,” said Sheriff Tilley.

Also, the boys turned themselves in so they chose their own clothing apparently.

Obviously, the daughter knew right from wrong at a much younger age than the grown men-brothers if she sought help from CPS! Such a horrible life this poor girl has lived!

 

[Linda7NJ]

Unbelievable! Doesn't the Education Department oversee home schooling and is there not a set curriculum that they must pass?



It looks like this family never socialized outside the home. Seven children without proper

life skills.



Do parents have to have some higher education to be able to home school?



I am totally flabbergasted with the mother. How could she allow 6 grown men to sexually abuse her daughter? So, how did it all start? JMOO

I homeschool, in the state I live in, there are no yearly tests or oversights at all. None.

Lots of homeschool families belong to co-ops and interact regularly with other families. If a parent isn't qualified to teach something, there are plenty of other homeschool parents willing to step up.

Some homeschooling families isolate, some don't....they run the gambit.





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