The choice wasn’t hers?I’m perplexed. If Noema is so shy and can’t look someone in the eye, how did she get enough gumption to confront her parents about moving out of her parents house? Especially at that age? Then learn how to drive and get her drivers license on her own? Pay for rent and car insurance? If she has never worked, where did she get the money for these things? If she’s that shy I can’t imagine her trying to buy alcohol knowing she was underage. Where was she going “out” all the time to drink? Bars? At friends?
Just thinking out loud. She seems like she wants to fade into the shadows. JMO
Thanks for trying to explain @Stunned.
I appreciate your posts.
I’m not disagreeing, maybe I’m having difficulty understanding since I’m in an area populated by similar demographics but the behavior is markedly different. I’ve been told by others including local LE not to look unknown men in the eyes, keep a low profile and not “rock the boat”. So I have a different perspective. All depends on the environment I guess.
I’m perplexed. If Noema is so shy and can’t look someone in the eye, how did she get enough gumption to confront her parents about moving out of her parents house? Especially at that age? Then learn how to drive and get her drivers license on her own? Pay for rent and car insurance? If she has never worked, where did she get the money for these things? If she’s that shy I can’t imagine her trying to buy alcohol knowing she was underage. Where was she going “out” all the time to drink? Bars? At friends?
Just thinking out loud. She seems like she wants to fade into the shadows. JMO
I’m perplexed. If Noema is so shy and can’t look someone in the eye, how did she get enough gumption to confront her parents about moving out of her parents house? Especially at that age? Then learn how to drive and get her drivers license on her own? Pay for rent and car insurance? If she has never worked, where did she get the money for these things? If she’s that shy I can’t imagine her trying to buy alcohol knowing she was underage. Where was she going “out” all the time to drink? Bars? At friends?
Just thinking out loud. She seems like she wants to fade into the shadows. JMO
Dukce’s mom, Noema is not an immigrant.
“People are inventing things about me,” said Noema Alavez Perez, 19, Dulce’s mother, who is the American-born daughter of Mexican immigrants. “I used to drink, and people still think I’m that way, going out all the time like that.… People are looking at everything about my life now.”
In South Jersey, a massive search — and a wave of worry — for missing 5-year-old girl
- People who are cripplingly shy/have severe social anxiety usually aren't the least bit shy around the small number of people who they are close to, like parents. Quite the opposite. Those are the people who they really open up to and/or rebel against.
-I have severe social anxiety. I have a license, gainful employment and even leave my house and go out into public. I just don't socialize much with people who i don't know and even people that i have been working with for years, neighbors etc. I am a totally different person around my husband, kids, parents and the small handful of close friends and family that i talk to.
- There are many ways to get and/or earn money without a job based out of a brick and mortar establishment.
-People who are cripplingly shy/have severe social anxiety often use alcohol and/or drugs to overcome their anxiety, gain false, substance fueled confidence, be more social and even become popular. You don't necessarily have to go around begging strangers to buy you alcohol as a young, pretty teenage girl. It isn't uncommon, especially in poorer communities for grown adults to readily offer substances to teen girls or for their school mates to have these things at their disposal.
IMO based on personal experience
Thanks for trying to explain @Stunned.
I appreciate your posts.
I’m not disagreeing, maybe I’m having difficulty understanding since I’m in an area populated by similar demographics but the behavior is markedly different. I’ve been told by others including local LE not to look unknown men in the eyes, keep a low profile and not “rock the boat”. So I have a different perspective. All depends on the environment I guess.
Maybe it would help to understand NJ. We have always had immigrants (documented and surely undocumented) here - in the early days mainly seasonally to work in agriculture, but more often now year round (poultry factories, lawn care, construction, etc). They mainly work at jobs no one else cares to do. Always has been this way.It definitely depends on the environment. Living here undocumented adds an extra level of fear that might stop people from coming forward. I think there would only be a break in the case when someone starts talking, but I am sad thinking it might not come soon enough.
I hate to think about this but if someone did dispose of Dulce, will searching landfills turn up anything beyond this point? Is it possible to find remains past Month 4? I wonder what cadaver dogs turned up at the park?
Maybe it would help to understand NJ. We have always had immigrants (documented and surely undocumented) here - in the early days mainly seasonally to work in agriculture, but more often now year round (poultry factories, lawn care, construction, etc). They mainly work at jobs no one else cares to do. Always has been this way.
When I was a child, the immigrants mainly came from Puerto Rico to work the fields and do the job that most locals preferred not to do. Now it seems to be predominantly Mexican. There has never been, IMHO, any fear here, from them or towards them. Nor have I ever encountered any aggressiveness with anyone who fits this category.
This state has always just plain and simply accepted it. Or..no one asks. Many live on the farms where they are employed as housing is provided normally. Out and about they seem neither timid nor uneasy nor aggressive....just people going about their lives - shopping in ShopRite, going to the movies, etc, mostly minding their own business. In fact, our governor just signed a bill allowing undocs to obtain drivers licenses. It's a pretty fair and unbiased place to be, and work.
That said, I'm sure it didn't help when Noema's boyfriend (father of her son I believe) was initially detained for a bit for being undocumented. That could have put a damper on anyone coming forward with info. I do find it difficult to believe someone doesn't know something. People talk. People who commit crimes talk. So perhaps it's more from a sense of "loyalty" that no one has come forward.
Fwiw, I'm simply trying to add to the ongoing conversation here about local attitudes and types of immigrants according to geographical location. I do respect that we all have different opinions and experiences...absolutely do.