I have spent days reading through these forums.
First and foremost I am devastated for the three girls who lost their mother at the hands of presumably their own father.
My thoughts are with Allison's family. I hope they find the strength they need to try and work through this unforgivable crime!
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Do you all think Allison knew what he was capable of? Of course not! So tell me... How could Toni?
Most people in life like to see the best in people, especially people we love. I am bemused at the fingers that have been pointed at Toni who is a victim here!
She foolishly fell in love with a married man, sadly it happens every day. The heart wants what it wants and sometimes it rules the head.
It frustrates me to read comments like "she shouldn't have 'gone after' a married man" how do know that she was not the one pursued - he was her boss, he had the position of power. Him sleazing on to her seems more plausible given cassinova was juggling a wife and 3 lovers!
It frustrates me that people say she "demanded" that he leave his wife. When? Just because he e-mailed her saying he made her a commitment to leave his wife by a certain date doesn't mean she demanded it - it seems more likely that she was sick of sneaking around and was going to put an end to it and he encouraged her to keep up the affair promising that he will leave his wife. It's a story been told thousands of times before!
It frustrates me that people comment on her appearance as if the affair would be more acceptable if the photos of her released by the media were more flattering it would some how be ok? She is absolutely beautiful in person.
No one but she knows why she fell in love with a married man - most of make mistakes of the heart but that doesn't mean she had any idea it would end this way.
She is a victim. Her life will never be the same again. She could have been the one who was killed if he could work out away to cash in on her demise!
He is a gutless man fuelled by greed! He preys on people to take advantage of. Toni is just one more on a long list of people who is hurting due to the actions of this spineless snake!
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HeartRH, it is good to have another perspective thrown at us to freshen things up a bit. You are right on so many points!
I am sure most would agree that from TM's perspective, she would probably never have seen this coming, she might have considered it to be just a 'normal, everyday' affair, she might be in huge shock, be deeply hurt, have a ruined reputation, be completely remorseful, might feel she was tragically unlucky to have chosen the wrong guy to have an affair with, and be filled with enormous self pity, heartbroken over someone she loved and lost, angered at him for thinking this was a solution, humiliated, amongst many other deep painful emotions that would scar a soul for eternity. IMHO of course...
ALL these emotions would be normal and she'd be forgiven for feeling this. I'm sure no-one would want to deny her of grief. HOWEVER, no matter how real these feelings are FOR HER, the facts are they ARE all at least in part a result of her being a KEY player in a long-standing RISKY game that was being played - she herself GAMBLING on real people's lives/emotions/minds. As long as she kept playing, her role would not have been a positive one for Allison nor the girls- no matter how the game would end. She mightn't have caused the tragedy, but she certainly was enough of a part of the big picture leading up to it for Allisons' supporters here to lack much sympathy for her.
Here we focus on grief and justice for Allison and her family - the true victims - helpless victims - who could NOT have made a difference, no matter how much love and goodwill they had. TM could have made a difference - imo. TM was not helpless - imo. She was playing with fire.
The murderer/s NEED to take full accountability with NO right to BLAME others for the EVIL act itself. ALL other players do still need to take FULL RESPONSIBILITY for THEIR own part that lead up to it. TM is not immune to this even if she didn't accurately predict the dire consequences of her actions.
Let's give her benefit of the doubt - perhaps she didn't push him too hard or give an ultimatum, perhaps it was an innocent affair and she asked him calmly, politely and ever so patiently to sort things out as soon as he was able. Even this - simply asking a man to confront/deal with his problems once too many times, could be enough to push him over. Everyone has their breaking point (that they are individually responsible for controlling!) and GBC was probably close to his for a while. TM might not have known his limit and certainly not his potential! It can be a shock to realise the straw you loaded onto the camels back might have been the final one. OMG, it was just an insignificant little straw!! Always be accountable for your straw (every word and action).
Her next move, after the tragedy, COULD've been to fight tooth and nail to find Allison, for justice for Allison - from DAY 1- and perhaps then we'd have shown more sympathy. Perhaps she did... hopefully she still is - we will find out for sure. There is plenty of opportunity for POSITIVITY to come out of this great loss - lets hope she takes full advantage of it. Financial support for the girls might be a start. She then might be considered to be on OUR team - imo.
Morals of all this:
* Be very careful what you wish for - especially with a greedy/lustful heart!
* Don't play with fire!
This is all IMHO and MOO - definitely moo.