samsmom
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Do you have any updates on your daughter? Which Facebook is active?
Found Alive NY - M. H., 25, Cortland, 26 Aug 2017 *Arrest*
- Thread starter Dalagali
- Start date
Do you have any updates on your daughter? Which Facebook is active?
There are two M. H. B. pages. One was started by me and the other was started by Cal Advocates for the Missing out of SoCal.
Jon Turner was reported missing the day that the car was found on 9/12. According to a friend of his brother, his brother/family has been in contact with him right along. I have no idea if that is true, but generally when people are "missing" they are reported missing. I reported M. missing on 8/26 when she failed to pick up her children on 8/25. The friends/family of Jon Turner started an online campaign that was nasty and ridiculous when M. went missing. They lied to the police, they bashed her and trashed us. They decided on their own that we were claiming that Jon kidnapped her, although no one ever said that. In fact, I said repeatedly that we didn't know if she was even with him. Until we saw the tape, there was no way to know since friends of Jon claimed he was in Elmira.
M. was diagnosed with bipolar and stopped taking her medication because they made her too tired to take care of her children. She was apparently paranoid and suicidal before she left. Friends of hers have sent me texts that show both. Early on there were reports from her estranged husband and at least two other people that there were "people" after her. No one was clear on who these people were and I really wanted to figure out who it was to tell the police. I suspect that it was paranoia and not anyone actually after her.
The Big Bear Sheriff was able to search the vehicle because it was registered to her ex husband. They got permission from him. Inside there were two receipts. One was for a McDonalds with no cameras and the other was to that WalMart where the video was pulled. The video at least let me know she was alive on 8/30 which is more than I knew before. It doesn't give any insight into her mental state or wth is going on. The entire situation is bizarre and tragic.
She is not pregnant and can not be pregnant because we believe her tubes were tied following the birth of her last child.
Volunteers have searched Big Bear extensively. Over just the last three days alone 1000 fliers were posted in the area. Cal Advocates has been amazing. The Big Bear Sheriff station has been even more amazing and followed up on every lead. There have been reports that she was seen near Von's there, and at a laundromat.
When I spoke with an officer in Big Bear on Friday, he told me that he has talked to several girls with pink or purple hair and each time it is not M. There is a girl that people believe they have seen that we know is not M. because a really nice guy snapped a pic of her at a store and sent it to us. So we have not been able to verify the sightings.
I too have thought that she may have been hurt in the woods or worse. She is not an avid outdoors person. She'd go camping if she was at an amusement park, she wouldn't go off and sleep in the woods off grid. She wouldn't make it out there and she doesn't know the area at all. She has never been to CA.
The guy in the pic is Jon Turner. To me he looks really sickly. Members of his family said he was on heroin. M. was not on heroin, crack or meth. She would party though and manic, I suppose at this point, a month in - anything is possible. If she is mentally unwell or addicted - I will take it. Anything is better than the alternative that she is dead.
There has been no contact made. No social media activity. She is still missing and we are continuing to look for her.
I deleted my public fb post and did turn off comments on my page. I will be deleting that soon. The goal is to have everyone on the Help Find M. H. B. page run by Cal Advocates. I am an admin, but I had to walk away because some of the comments were horrible. Most of those are his family or friends of his family. The PMs that I have endured have been horrendous too. Hoping she is dead, people saying that she deserves to die, hoping she is in the bottom of a lake somewhere and suffers...you name it. And I had to go through every PM in the hopes there was a lead. So many people with opinions and zero facts. Again, most of the vitriol comes from his family and I am really just over their trash antics. I have two of her babies, my 90 year old grandfather, my second year of grad school, a job and I am trying to find my daughter. They don't even have a missing person poster for him.
I am looking for her. The WalMart was in Burbank. The car was believed to be in Big Bear on 8/30 later that day. That is the last sighting. Jon's friend with all the stories claimed he left with camping equipment. Since there was nothing in the car - where did all the stuff go?
Jon Turner's father has an old address in Victorville. His friends claim that Jon had been to CA before, his family says he hasn't and doesn't know anyone there. There are so many lies at this point that it's not clear. The police have looked for connections as well and Victorville has also been flyered. There have been rumors of Venice Beach and Miami Fl.
The rumor about Miami was that they had got on a bus that was paid for by a company that does hurricane clean up. They pay wages & provide room and board. It seems like a stretch, but Big Bear has a population of 12k. If she was there it would seem that the police would have found her by now. She has not used her SS number for anything. She didn't have bank cards to track, but for sure whatever amount of money she had - which would have been little - would have ran out by now. Unless, you know someone is sending money to someone else.
Jon Turner was reported missing the day that the car was found on 9/12. According to a friend of his brother, his brother/family has been in contact with him right along. I have no idea if that is true, but generally when people are "missing" they are reported missing. I reported M. missing on 8/26 when she failed to pick up her children on 8/25. The friends/family of Jon Turner started an online campaign that was nasty and ridiculous when M. went missing. They lied to the police, they bashed her and trashed us. They decided on their own that we were claiming that Jon kidnapped her, although no one ever said that. In fact, I said repeatedly that we didn't know if she was even with him. Until we saw the tape, there was no way to know since friends of Jon claimed he was in Elmira.
M. was diagnosed with bipolar and stopped taking her medication because they made her too tired to take care of her children. She was apparently paranoid and suicidal before she left. Friends of hers have sent me texts that show both. Early on there were reports from her estranged husband and at least two other people that there were "people" after her. No one was clear on who these people were and I really wanted to figure out who it was to tell the police. I suspect that it was paranoia and not anyone actually after her.
The Big Bear Sheriff was able to search the vehicle because it was registered to her ex husband. They got permission from him. Inside there were two receipts. One was for a McDonalds with no cameras and the other was to that WalMart where the video was pulled. The video at least let me know she was alive on 8/30 which is more than I knew before. It doesn't give any insight into her mental state or wth is going on. The entire situation is bizarre and tragic.
She is not pregnant and can not be pregnant because we believe her tubes were tied following the birth of her last child.
Volunteers have searched Big Bear extensively. Over just the last three days alone 1000 fliers were posted in the area. Cal Advocates has been amazing. The Big Bear Sheriff station has been even more amazing and followed up on every lead. There have been reports that she was seen near Von's there, and at a laundromat.
When I spoke with an officer in Big Bear on Friday, he told me that he has talked to several girls with pink or purple hair and each time it is not M. There is a girl that people believe they have seen that we know is not M. because a really nice guy snapped a pic of her at a store and sent it to us. So we have not been able to verify the sightings.
I too have thought that she may have been hurt in the woods or worse. She is not an avid outdoors person. She'd go camping if she was at an amusement park, she wouldn't go off and sleep in the woods off grid. She wouldn't make it out there and she doesn't know the area at all. She has never been to CA.
The guy in the pic is Jon Turner. To me he looks really sickly. Members of his family said he was on heroin. M. was not on heroin, crack or meth. She would party though and manic, I suppose at this point, a month in - anything is possible. If she is mentally unwell or addicted - I will take it. Anything is better than the alternative that she is dead.
There has been no contact made. No social media activity. She is still missing and we are continuing to look for her.
I deleted my public fb post and did turn off comments on my page. I will be deleting that soon. The goal is to have everyone on the Help Find M. H. B. page run by Cal Advocates. I am an admin, but I had to walk away because some of the comments were horrible. Most of those are his family or friends of his family. The PMs that I have endured have been horrendous too. Hoping she is dead, people saying that she deserves to die, hoping she is in the bottom of a lake somewhere and suffers...you name it. And I had to go through every PM in the hopes there was a lead. So many people with opinions and zero facts. Again, most of the vitriol comes from his family and I am really just over their trash antics. I have two of her babies, my 90 year old grandfather, my second year of grad school, a job and I am trying to find my daughter. They don't even have a missing person poster for him.
I am looking for her. The WalMart was in Burbank. The car was believed to be in Big Bear on 8/30 later that day. That is the last sighting. Jon's friend with all the stories claimed he left with camping equipment. Since there was nothing in the car - where did all the stuff go?
Jon Turner's father has an old address in Victorville. His friends claim that Jon had been to CA before, his family says he hasn't and doesn't know anyone there. There are so many lies at this point that it's not clear. The police have looked for connections as well and Victorville has also been flyered. There have been rumors of Venice Beach and Miami Fl.
The rumor about Miami was that they had got on a bus that was paid for by a company that does hurricane clean up. They pay wages & provide room and board. It seems like a stretch, but Big Bear has a population of 12k. If she was there it would seem that the police would have found her by now. She has not used her SS number for anything. She didn't have bank cards to track, but for sure whatever amount of money she had - which would have been little - would have ran out by now. Unless, you know someone is sending money to someone else.
Jethro4WS
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607, I hope you will check in here from time to time. Do you know if Cal Advocates has had people out to the homeless shelters/facilities, in particular the ones that offer showers (usually one day for men and another day for women)? I would expect after some time a shower would be welcome and getting one without the means to get a room somewhere would leave those kinds of shelters as a prime option.
When you have spoken with Cortland PD do you know if they have talked to the state agencies for employment or welfare in CA or the Social Security Administration to see if either Mary or Jon turns up via an attempt to get employed or obtain benefits?
I know for a small business a Social Security withholding hit might not show up until after the quarterly filings are due. But unless they can work under the table an employment hit might lead to a location. The Social Security Number / Validation check that is done goes into the federal system so if either gets employment anywhere in the US that isn't under the table they might get another lead on them.
For benefits, a hit should turn up by now but only if the Cortland PD inquires and I don't know if that would have to be to California or to Washington DC. But there might be a way to get a lead on them that way if they do apply somewhere for benefits.
When you have spoken with Cortland PD do you know if they have talked to the state agencies for employment or welfare in CA or the Social Security Administration to see if either Mary or Jon turns up via an attempt to get employed or obtain benefits?
I know for a small business a Social Security withholding hit might not show up until after the quarterly filings are due. But unless they can work under the table an employment hit might lead to a location. The Social Security Number / Validation check that is done goes into the federal system so if either gets employment anywhere in the US that isn't under the table they might get another lead on them.
For benefits, a hit should turn up by now but only if the Cortland PD inquires and I don't know if that would have to be to California or to Washington DC. But there might be a way to get a lead on them that way if they do apply somewhere for benefits.
flute4peace
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Let's just say Mary was in a state of manic when she left. How long would such a state last before she begins to sway the other way? If she began taking things that her cohort was offering, would that delay or accelerate things? Without getting too deep, does any one have experience with this sort of thing? If she was previously on meds, has anyone contacted her doctor to ask general (not HIPPA invasive) questions on how to figure out what steps she might take next, then next, then next?
Cal Advocates has had people everywhere. After Mary's car was found on the 12th they formed search parties and headed out all over Big Bear and Victorville. The founder of the organization also suggested Venice and flyered there because it is an attractive area to people. She said they have found several missing people there. They also partner with a team that goes out in large search groups to offer people free treatment. They are pretty amazing and they go into the trenches looking for people. They talk to homeless, the police, homeless shelters, ect.
The Cortland PD has checked to see if she applied for welfare several times. She is also in a federal system that is regularly running her social security number.
The Cortland PD has checked to see if she applied for welfare several times. She is also in a federal system that is regularly running her social security number.
This has been my issue with the psychiatric problems. If Mary was manic, it would seem that would have ended by now and depression would have set in. And while she may have believed before she left that people were after her, she didn't believe I was - so why wouldn't she have called even to just ask for money?
The mania explains to me her drinking and partying "style" going several years back, but it doesn't explain how this time it changed her to the point where she did not contact her people. She decided at some point to self medicate with marijuana. That alone can cause increased paranoia and mania. If she were to get involved with harder drugs, it sure wouldn't make it better. There was a PM she sent to a friend on 8/23 where she said she didn't want to live anymore. There are two ways that could go I suppose: she wanted to die and had a plan or she wanted to die and what she did had no consequence. Even if she were suicidal with bipolar that would swing in the opposite direction at some point. I spoke to a woman who has bipolar and when she was 23 she left her children and took off. She was a single mom at the time. She believed people were after her and she had to get away. When the police found her three weeks later, she fought them like her life depended on it.
There are people with bipolar who never lose contact with their families, even in mania - even when they take off across country. Unless it is a psychotic break, it just doesn't explain the time that has elapsed. Maybe it started out that way and she realized what she had done later and is too afraid to contact anyone now? I don't know. It's hard to imagine she wouldn't call for help or money.
The mania explains to me her drinking and partying "style" going several years back, but it doesn't explain how this time it changed her to the point where she did not contact her people. She decided at some point to self medicate with marijuana. That alone can cause increased paranoia and mania. If she were to get involved with harder drugs, it sure wouldn't make it better. There was a PM she sent to a friend on 8/23 where she said she didn't want to live anymore. There are two ways that could go I suppose: she wanted to die and had a plan or she wanted to die and what she did had no consequence. Even if she were suicidal with bipolar that would swing in the opposite direction at some point. I spoke to a woman who has bipolar and when she was 23 she left her children and took off. She was a single mom at the time. She believed people were after her and she had to get away. When the police found her three weeks later, she fought them like her life depended on it.
There are people with bipolar who never lose contact with their families, even in mania - even when they take off across country. Unless it is a psychotic break, it just doesn't explain the time that has elapsed. Maybe it started out that way and she realized what she had done later and is too afraid to contact anyone now? I don't know. It's hard to imagine she wouldn't call for help or money.
Jethro4WS
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607, if LE was able to know where and when the vehicle Mary had was in Chataqua County (is that right?) is it possible for them to get cell tower records for towers near that location and see if they can identify a cell phone that was located close to where the vehicle was spotted - in case either Mary or Jon had a cell phone with them? I assume the vehicle was travelling on I-86 and at that time there is very little traffic. So, if they could locate a phone that was located close to where the vehicle was they might be able to get a cell phone number and see if that cell phone turns up elsewhere across the country.
There is a lot of things the police could have done, but they didn't. They were waiting for the car to turn up. They never pulled Jon's cell phone records. I was told they couldn't because he hadn't been reported missing. He wasn't reported missing until the day the car was found in Big Bear on 9/12. A friend claims that Jon's brother has been in contact with him from the start. I believed that from the start because if he was missing, they would have filed a report. That is what you do when someone is missing. The only time you wouldn't is if you knew where they were right? The police never treated this with a sense of urgency. Basically, she is an adult and can leave if she wants to was their argument. Which is true. I'm not sure how they know if she wanted to, or what her mental state is since no one has made contact with her. When they saw the video footage from 8/30 they basically wrapped up their "investigation." The police told me she would turn up when she had to steal food? I can't even...
samsmom
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Thank you 607 for coming back and giving us updates. I thought it was strange that there wasn't a formal missing report for JT. I hope someone can check out what you said about the brother being in contact with him, that may be a huge lead.
I don't have any words of wisdom or tips but I did want you to know there are people that care about your daughter, you and her children. You're a good mom. I'm humbled by all you have on your plate.
I don't have any words of wisdom or tips but I did want you to know there are people that care about your daughter, you and her children. You're a good mom. I'm humbled by all you have on your plate.
Jethro4WS
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Wow. Here I thought they might still be working to find her. I am sorry that you can't even have that piece of mind that LE is putting effort into finding her. I have a hard time believing they wouldn't consider her endangered considering who she is with and that she is off medication. They don't think leaving 4 kids behind is more than a little concerning?
Do you happen to know, or know someone that knows, your State representative or senator in your district or someone else with some juice that could motivate PD?
Meanwhile I will keep hunting, hoping for a lead of any kind.
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M. made a choice to run off with JT. Even if JT knew she was married, it's really M. who made this choice. With that mindset, it might be really helpful to make friendlies with JTs family and friends, so that you can mutually work together to make sure both JT and MH are somewhere safe. It's in M.'s best interest that everyone is working together and lines of communication are fully open. Just a suggestion...
M. was separated from her husband and had been for a while. Her husband has had another girlfriend for a year. And I'm not sure how you know what choices M. made or didn't make since no one here knows any of that. Also, considering the campaign that was waged by JT's family the day the news broke that M. was missing - thanks for the suggestion, but I want no part of the nonsense that is friends and family of JT. They have lied from day one, sent our family and the police on wild goose chases all over NY and are generally unpleasant. I refuse to engage further with any of them. I spent days searching Elmira, Ithaca and Cortland. They never did. When someone is missing, generally - you look for them. You create missing person flyers, you hang them up. You start pages. You cooperate with the police. It's common sense. When you don't do those things one has to wonder why. M. was reported missing the morning of 8/26. He was not. His friends claimed he was in Elmira, they were both in Elmira, that they were camping, that they went to a concert at Darien Lake. His ex gf claimed he was a psychopath who tried to kill her and has news footage from the SWAT team storming her house. His father claimed he's just a big teddy bear. His grandma said he was addicted to drugs, his gf said he was on heroin and his "soon to be stepmom" told the police he often went off to live in the woods. His bff changed his story depending on who he was talking to. Friends have threatened the group in CA trying to find M. They can keep their trash antics. Talking to these people is not helpful. They have no interest in helping. The "soon to be stepmom" has insisted since the Tues. after M. went missing and the news picked up the story that JT didn't kidnap M. INSISTED. Yelling it to anyone who would listen. Yet not once did anyone say that he did. No one in this family even put them together on Friday. We had no proof they were together after Thursday and we only knew SHE was in Cortland on Friday. The confirmation WE had that they were together came on 9/12 when the Cortland PD sent the pic from Walmart in Burbank from 8/30. Since I am the one living this - I will do and have done everything to find my daughter. I am also smart enough to know when people are trying to thwart that process, whatever their motives.
The messages were not shared with me that she was suicidal until 9/25. The same day the information was shared that she had stopped taking her meds. I can't explain the delay in her friends not sharing the information sooner. I assume they thought she would just show back up. I think in the beginning we were all thinking that way. When I told the police they said it didn't matter. In part because the family of JT called them early on and told them they had ran away together. How did they know this? Great question since they also claimed (but didn't file) that he was missing. But they KNEW. He didn't tell them that according to them. This story that they told the police was based on JT's BFF's story that they told him they were moving to CA. The problem is that same friend told a bunch of stories. As soon as Cortland PD got that version though, that is what they believed. Then they believed that the hit on the license plate on 8/25 in Chautauqua County was them leaving the state. The problem with that story was the BFF (the same one who was telling people they were going camping, or to a concert or to CA) of JT said they were at his house after that. Two other friends of JT said that he was in Elmira after that weekend. Once the car was found in Big Bear, clearly they had to have left earlier than any of the family & friends were saying. The lies were already adding up though even before the date became an issue.
We are in contact with our representatives.
flute4peace
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607, thank you for clearing it all up. California temps seem to be dropping, so if they are camping, they'll need warmer clothes soon. Have the Goodwills and Salvation Army stores in the area gotten flyers hung up at them?