However I feel about the actual case, I don' see how this is good for him or her at all. I can send my husband all kinds of texts about wanting to be anally penetrated. He can still rape me. The same can be said of an acquaitance, or someone I have previously been intimate with.
NY - Male student sues Columbia Univ for 'gender-based harassment and defamation'
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However I feel about the actual case, I don' see how this is good for him or her at all. I can send my husband all kinds of texts about wanting to be anally penetrated. He can still rape me. The same can be said of an acquaitance, or someone I have previously been intimate with.
But if you then claim you never discussed this act with your husband, I don't think you could expect anyone to convict him on your word alone.
She is under the pseudo-name "Sara" in the article.
"Sara said, minutes in, Tom grabbed her wrists and pinned her arms behind her head. He pushed her legs against her chest and forcefully penetrated her anus. They had never had anal sex before. They had never discussed it. It was painful. Sara began to struggle, screaming at him to stop, yelling at him to get off of her. He didnt stop."
http://bwog.com/2014/01/23/accessib...an-examination-of-sexual-assault-at-columbia/
Nova
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And he has legal remedies if he believes he has been slandered. I for one don't blame him for using them.
But juries have enough trouble deciding he said/she said cases. We can't possibly expect a thesis adviser to do so.
I taught playwriting and many of my students wrote plays based on their personal experiences. (In fact, most students seem to begin with autobiographical works; I think it's common to artists at that point in their lives.) If I had been responsible for fact-checking each work, I'd still be grading papers from the late 1990s!
I was just responding to some concerns of previous posters based on my experience at the same school.
I think the girl has some serious issues - Jodi type issues.
In the complaint, it describes how before the two of them ever got together sexually, that they were close friends and confidants. She had asked him to talk to her current sexual partner and ask him to wear a condom when he ******s other girls (her words) because she didn't want to get any STD's. She then asked him why couldn't he (the current lover) "just love me". This to me sounds as if she's looking for someone/anyone that can love "only" her.
So then when the accused doesn't fall head over heels in love with her, she decides to get even. It took her 8 months before she reported it to the school - and then the only reason she did was because she wanted him thrown out of school.... she didn't want to have to see him anymore. She no doubt sought out his ex-girlfriend to convince her to file rape charges also. She probably told her that he had said bad things about her to get her to go along with it.
It is obvious that she is loving all the attention that she is getting and I'm sure she is very good (Jodi good) at convincing people that she is a victim. I feel so bad for the guy that she has accused. He's never had a chance to actually defend himself to the public. He was told to keep everything confidential and yet she's been allowed to plaster her "story" all over the internet and ruin his name. This story reminds me a little of the Morgan Ingram Stalking case.... where Toni was able to outright accuse 3 kids without any proof whatsoever. I just wish this poor guy had more support.
Sonya610
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Did you read the texts/facebook messages she sent to him? I assume they were sent AFTER the alleged rape and include her going on and on about how she "LOVES HIM SO MUCH!!" and MISSES HIM TERRIBLY. He appears pretty detached yet polite in his replies.
gxm
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That's not a quote from "Sara." There are other direct quotes in the blog post but there are none in which "Sara" describes the actual assault. Are there any police statements available?
I don't know what the laws are in New York, but it's my understanding that even if a sex act is discussed or agreed upon, as soon as someone says "no," it must stop; any further sexual contact is rape. I work with someone who sat on a jury and felt bad that they had to convict a man for just this reason. Personally, I don't know why anyone would feel bad about following the law. Good grief, if someone is in pain and withdraws consent, then stop. Even in BDSM, they have code words specifically for this purpose.
It starts off with Sara said... So reporter is describing Sara's part of the story. As for following the law or feeling bad about following the law. I am all about following the law.
In order to convict someone you have to believe that the person is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.
If she claims he told him no, and he denies it, and there is no other evidence to support her claims, what exactly do you propose should be done? She send him messages both before and after the night she claimed he raped her, not indicating anything was wrong. She send him a message requesting the sex act that she later accused him of forcing of her. There is no physical evidence and no witnesses. You don't consider any of this as reasonable doubt?
The love messages included in his lawsuit were from before and after the date of alleged rape.
flourish
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Yep been there blush. That's why code words are helpful.
Eta; and that's also why I'm very clear about when no isn't going to mean no. And if he stops for clarification all the better.
I think the discussion on whether "no" always means "no" would be more appropriate in a different case such as one where a student was claiming he was reenacting "50 shades of grey."
In this case, the accused is claiming that everything was consensual.
In this case, the accused is claiming that everything was consensual.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ry-campus-alleged-rapist-expelled-school.html
Emma Sulkowicz carried her mattress on stage and then refused to shake the hand of the president of Columbia after receiving her diploma. I sure hope Paul wins his lawsuit and then goes after her too.
Emma Sulkowicz carried her mattress on stage and then refused to shake the hand of the president of Columbia after receiving her diploma. I sure hope Paul wins his lawsuit and then goes after her too.
She put a light blue cover on it to match her graduation gown.
sonjay
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Well, how .... elegant. My mama always told me to make sure my mattress cover matched my gown.
Leilei
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http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/20/n...ity-continues-into-graduation-event.html?_r=0
She was asked not to bring the mattress to graduation. She did anyway. No thought to the other graduates. The young man was *cleared* of all charges.
Whoever got a "Jodi vibe" from her, mentioned above - I did, too. IMO.
She was asked not to bring the mattress to graduation. She did anyway. No thought to the other graduates. The young man was *cleared* of all charges.
Whoever got a "Jodi vibe" from her, mentioned above - I did, too. IMO.
KaaBoom
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I don't know if she was raped, or not, and nobody outside of two people will ever know for sure. But I know one thing. If she was raped, she is a very atypical rape victim. 95% of rape victims will not report or talk about the rape. Many will even deny they were raped, just to avoid talking about it.
But this woman seems to relish in the idea of being a rape victim, and wants everybody to know about it. Very strange.
But this woman seems to relish in the idea of being a rape victim, and wants everybody to know about it. Very strange.
sonjay
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She seems to relish it so much that it's almost as if, if she wasn't raped, she'd have to make up a rape.
Oh.... er.... um..... yeah, I think that's exactly what happened.
Nova
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I have no opinion as to what happened when the two were alone, but a jury, if the case went to trial, would be called upon to make a decision based on the perceived truthfulness of the complainant.
I don't quite know what to make of the Daily Mall article and its photos. Graduation at Columbia is a ceremony that dates back to the 1700s! The university is composed of numerous colleges (three undergraduate schools, including Barnard, plus an engineering school, a business school, a medical school, a school of journalism and a large grad school of Arts & Sciences). All of which amounts to THOUSANDS of graduates each May.
Add four guests per grad and there is no space on campus big enough to hold the multitudes. The ceremony is held outside in the sizable university quad (one of the most beautiful spots in NYC, BTW). The class from each school marches in en masse, arranged in alphabetical order, and takes its seat; then the next school's grads come in, etc.
There is (or was when I was there) no parade of grads across the stage and no handing out of diplomas. Instead, the graduation was a mass event and diplomas were handed out in each school's administration office after the ceremony.
So I'm not sure what pictures we are seeing. Perhaps the young woman's school had a private ceremony to hand out the actual diplomas. (Mine had a sort of reception, very informal, and you went up to a desk to get your scroll.)
All of this goes to say I am suspicious of the DAILY MALL's account of the event. I think it's at least possible the mattress was dragged up on stage after the ceremony (notice the podium is empty) for a photo op.
I don't quite know what to make of the Daily Mall article and its photos. Graduation at Columbia is a ceremony that dates back to the 1700s! The university is composed of numerous colleges (three undergraduate schools, including Barnard, plus an engineering school, a business school, a medical school, a school of journalism and a large grad school of Arts & Sciences). All of which amounts to THOUSANDS of graduates each May.
Add four guests per grad and there is no space on campus big enough to hold the multitudes. The ceremony is held outside in the sizable university quad (one of the most beautiful spots in NYC, BTW). The class from each school marches in en masse, arranged in alphabetical order, and takes its seat; then the next school's grads come in, etc.
There is (or was when I was there) no parade of grads across the stage and no handing out of diplomas. Instead, the graduation was a mass event and diplomas were handed out in each school's administration office after the ceremony.
So I'm not sure what pictures we are seeing. Perhaps the young woman's school had a private ceremony to hand out the actual diplomas. (Mine had a sort of reception, very informal, and you went up to a desk to get your scroll.)
All of this goes to say I am suspicious of the DAILY MALL's account of the event. I think it's at least possible the mattress was dragged up on stage after the ceremony (notice the podium is empty) for a photo op.