BritsKate
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- Jan 14, 2010
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Both you and MeeBee made great points. The only thing I'd add is this:I think "conflicted" says it all. The DT tried to twist this into a reason why he abused her. I think the truth is he was simply exhausted by feeling conflicted, nonstop , about a woman who just would not leave him alone, ever.
I agree with you 100% that he was incredibly relieved to see her move back to CA. That journal entry of his is self explanatory....on an evening, shortly after she left, when he realizes he hasnt heard from her all day and writes:
Havent heard from her all day! Never thought that would happen! It feels great!
I've been through a lot in my life and never have I been more confused and conflicted then when I was married to a psychopath. I desperately loved him (enough to spend 10 years with him and have two children), I couldn't then understand how he could appear to be so loving one moment but cold and distant the next. How he could make me feel ashamed for being who I was one day but leave me feeling irresistible the next. How a simple glare could leave me trembling but everyone else told me how lucky I was to have him. He told me he couldn't live without me but he acted, sometimes, as though he detested me. Psychopaths hold such power over their prey - they know exactly what to do, what to say - to both draw you in and push you away. I couldn't then understand any of it because I didn't then understand how insidious psychological abuse (which includes manipulation) is.
I think it would be difficult to be anything less than conflicted - especially for someone like Travis who always wanted to believe the good in others.
JMO and FWIW