my definition may be a bit off, but empathy translates for me as "been there, done that" or "been there, couldn't do that". something similar to Atticus Finch's "walking around in another man's skin" (paraphrased)
re Lee: I have defended and stood by family members well beyond a point that was healthy for me, probably because my fear of abandonment is so deeply rooted
re George: ditto. altho I also think that part of him is just plain lazy and if Cindy keeps a roof over his head, he's willing to stay and will pay any price for being allowed to stay. I was married to someone very much like him, once
re Cindy: I read her as being fueled by frustration, fear, hatred and arrogance. I have often been frustrated and fearful, and there are times when I have hated but I've never been arrogant. three for four: me and Cindy
re Casey: she knows how effed up she is because she lies to create who she knows she should be/could be. she is a quivering mass of hurt, source unknown by me. but no one is the way Casey is unless they are fueled by massive rage as a result of massive pain. she is the product of something done to her (or not done for her). I married someone very much like her, more than once (omigod)
I can condone Lee's actions the most and George's actions to some extent but cannot condone anything said or done by Cindy and Casey
by the Grace of the Universe, some people reach a threshold where rational instinct takes over and there comes a realization that "no more" can this be allowed to continue, whether it be your own actions or the actions of others. there's a saying in AA which goes "it takes what it takes". Lee going underground makes me think that he reached his threshold and went into survival mode and damn the risk of abandonment. George, Cindy and Casey have not yet reached "it takes what it takes" and I can't see that they ever will
