Just generally, for any of those unfamiliar, I met a man w whom for nearly two years I spent almost every single Sat. (and most Suns.), who so impressed me w his respectful old-fashioned manners that it wasn't until once we were married, and had lived together for several weeks that I found myself having to call 911. I discovered to my shock and horror the sustained veneer had only masked the disturbed, dangerous man beneath. Even flattery is a form of manipulation. This kind of person typically works very hard to create good impressions from a distance, but not many get close enough to really test the real fruit and the few who do will discover the "legion" underneath that smooth, polished facade. Actually I've discovered it's oftentimes the ones who appear inordinately polite and excessively deferential who can be concealing the most vicious, violent true nature. Scary, tell me about it. JMO
Because no matter how much she wants to PLAY like she is Haleighs mother shes NOT. The custody battle is between the PARENTS which she is not JMO. Not only that. Maybe they do not want to represent her because they have questions on if she has anything to do with lil Haleigh going missing.
Yeah, how did Ron know?Why did Ron not know the cousin was there?
Seriously..... she even went on his honeymoon.
I am sorry but I seriously take offense to this! Kiki I really love your posts and find them thought provoking most times but this last one is a doozy. It seems to suggest that men who call women Miss or have southern type manners might be hiding something underneath that is pretty darn ugly and manipulative. Not ALL southern men are that way and for some reason it seems like people are trying to insinuate that men that are that way are hiding something.
I am so so sorry for your experience and it seems as though you were really fooled by this man but I have to put a word in for Southern men here. My hubby who I have been with for 18 years is a southern man and very strict and outspoken in nature. He calls everyone Miss because it is a sign of respect and that is the way his daddy taught him to be. I agree southern men might be a little rougher around the edges but that in no way means "they" are abusers or should be categorized by the way they speak. My husband would be the first man in a long line of southern men to stand up for me against anyone that tried to do me harm, and likewise he would stand up for his daughters if anyone meant to do them harm. my daddy had lot's of legal guns in the home and cleaned them often whenever a suitor came calling, lol. Maybe that is why I ended up marrying a man that knew this to be fact and treated me with the respect and love that I deserve.
Again, I am sorry for your experience and it sounds like something went wrong along the way but in no way should a southern man be labeled or categorized as an abuser just by the way he speaks. I am not taking up for Ronald....I am taking up for a southern man that might be a little rough around the edges and firm but in my opinion doers not mean he is an abuser.
I think you have made some quantum leaps here Elle, since what I actually said is I've learned the hard way that flattery, inordinate politeness, excessive deference (and I would add self-deprecating attitudes) can be used by some to disarm, deceive and conceal a darker side, ie a lack of sincere respect, compassion and gentility. I stand by that, and there is a word for this behavior referred to as "grooming." Again I was addressing a few here who took politeness implicitly to be indicative of gentle character. I would no sooner take this alone just on face value to be an indicator of a deceiver than a person of merit. And I made no reference whatsoever to "Southern" men lol and for the record still very much appreciate true gentlemen--consistently well-mannered men w genuinely respectful attitudes toward women--the kind it sounds like you met. :heart: What I don't trust are any people--male or female; northern or southern; who are Dr. Jekyl in public (or is it Mr. Hyde lol) and then morph into someone unrecognizable behind closed doors. Oh, and fyi something didn't "go wrong along the way..." (like a whole two weeks lol). As a wise person once said, "only what's already in the glass can spill out." JMOarrot:
It was not a "honeymoon" nor was it portrayed as such by Ronald and Misty in any way.
If LE cannot quickly move past the family in this and she was abducted by a stranger...Haleigh loses. Pretty simple.
