SC - Heather Elvis, 20, Myrtle Beach, 18 Dec 2013 #19**ARREST**

[NotSoGrumpy]

The age difference irks me to no end. I know some say Heather is an adult....but I have a 20 year old and if she found herself in a relationship with a almost 40 year old.....I'd be livid. At HIM the most.
It's disgusting.

An older man calls the shots and she was in puppy love over a smooth talking older guy. Him being married to a very volatile woman was his doing. He put Heather in a horrible dangerous situation from the beginning that has obviously ended in a very tragic way.

I can only imagine how TE feels knowing that disgusting man had his hands on his child.

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My wife was 19 when we began dating. I am thirteen years older than she is. We had our first child together when she was twenty. We have one of the most normal, stable marriages I have ever known. She's went through a LOT when she was growing up. Alcoholic parents, living on her own from her sophomore year of high school and having her former significant other killed. Let's just say she is wize and mature beyond her years.

She currently works three jobs, is a full time student and has her priorities in order better then people three times her current age. I stay home with our daughter, work from home and homeschool our child...

Which bring me to another point. SOME homeschool families have their own untraditional schedules. If TM is a night owl, the children may be as well. If you don't have to get up for school in the morning, whybfight your natural clock to go to bed early? We know a family who literally ignore the clock for daily life. The kids wake/eat/study when they want to. They know their curriculum, what they need to complete on a daiky/weekly/long term basis and these kidsbare brilliant, well behaved and pretty stellar human beings. Our three year old tends to be a late to bed (10 ish) late to rise (9 ish) kid. She still naps and she thrives on being able to follow her natural clock.

TLDR- Not all relationships with huge age gaps are dysfunctional or inappropriate.

Homeschool families and children may have untraditional sleep and living schedules that are completely normal for themm

 

[Softail]

You guys most likely saw this video, but I just saw it and wanted to post it.

http://www.live5news.com/story/2478...ection-with-heather-elvis-case-police-confirm

It just amazes me how she brings up her children to the judge. How about thinking about them before you do stupid crap?

:notgood:

 

[SeriouslySearching]

I don't understand that, either. That was hours before her date....what significance would that even had unless there was something wrong with McD's clock and the time on the receipt was wrong??

Maybe not her receipt at all. Could match financial records of another party?

 

[eileenhawkeye]

I wonder if it's possible Heather told BW that she was going to meet Sidney that night? It's possible that info has never been released. I can't help but think of the whole basic safety rule where you always tell a friend where you are going, when you'll be back, etc. Maybe Heather just didn't follow it or forgot, but if she didn't tell BW, I wonder why not?

 

[ChristYTN]

BBM
I have been feeling the same way. I have two daughters ages 18 & 21. Being a legal adult and being wise enough to make adult decisions are two different things. Both of mine have always been responsible and mature for their ages. They smart in different ways and both are HS honor grads and in college. However, they are young and inexperienced in many, many ways. They have much to learn about life and people. I pray every day that they will make good decisions and choices. This is not said in order to excuse irresponsibility. It's just said for perspective.

We have always tried to impress upon them the reality of there being a consequence for every action and reaction. Tough lessons. Some listen and learn. Others learn the hard way. Mama was hard on us. She would always tell us that she would rather us learn tough lessons at home, from her(with love), rather than learning them the hard way at the hand of someone who could care less about us. This case has hit home for me because of my girls. Oh, the conversations we're going to have because of this.

My daughters live very independent and self sufficient lives. (23 and 20). One has a successful career in another state. She and I keep in touch daily via texts, social media and phone calls at least 2x weekly.
My younger girl has a good job in a city 35 miles from here. She has no social media (except instagram) and no tv or internet.
I have stressed the importance of just letting me know via text when she's walking to the downtown square, going out with friends, driving to another city...etc.
I don't EVER want to be in a situation where I'm having to timeline my last contact with my child.

The girls know my paranoia about things like this and IMO every parent should be.
The Elvis family never thought they'd be in the situation they are now. No one does. I pray no family ever has to be there.

And I stand behind my irked feelings about SM in a relationship with HE...and the age difference.


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[NewYork625]

Also, I want to add...I think SM was involved with Heather's disappearance too. I know we've been very focused on Tammy here (she makes it too easy)...but I'm beginning to get a bit of a sympathy for Sidney vibe...if his attorney is reading, I'm sure he's loving it. Regardless, I think Sid is neck deep in this and wouldn't be at all surprised if it turns out he lured and killed Heather and Tammy helped hide evidence after.

No sympathy for SM here. If he knows what happened to Heather, he should have said something by now. Fear of retribution/loss is no excuse.

 

[Kensie]

I don't understand why a 20 year old that is very pretty would want to be involved with an older, married man with 3 kids that looks like a schmuck.

 

[poppygirl]

CJVW - my father is 12 years older than my mother and they have been married over 40 years

I agree that age differences between adults are not necessarily bad...

 

[Idon'tneedthesame]

I've read the DIS Boards awhile back and it's really quite hard to stomach IMO.

IIRC, TM posted one time that she has a handicapped license plate so they can park close when they're there.

Not trying to judge but, does she actually have a handicap? If not, that's sickening.

If so that is horrible. I hate when that's abused. I realize sometimes people do have disabilities that aren't obvious, so maybe I will refrain from judging, although with tm it is especially difficult for me.

 

[SpongeBathHotPants]

I had a thought and I'm trying to work it out. I wonder if the sex charges against TM and SM stem from something that was caught on video right before HE went missing or right after. For instance, they were caught on tape having sex by a payphone that they swear they know nothing about but is somehow linked to HE. This would show that they were out and about in the middle of the night and it would send a message to both of them that "we know you did it". It could be an excellent way to scare them (SM in my opinion) into talking. The fact that they were not released speaks volumes. JMO of course.

 

[Quill]

Sadly Attraction overcomes age differences. If you have feelings for a person
sometimes its hard to walk away... Yes SM was wrong but Heather was wrong also He is MARRIED. and has 3 children... Takes 2 to tango!

We read on these threads every day ppl go missing and most times is because someone is leaving someone....

Sure, she was wrong. Like I said, age is no excuse for irresponsibility. But one does not magically receive a dose of wisdom from a bibbitty-bobbity-boo swish of a magical wand upon an 18th, 19th or 20th birthday. A nearly 40 year old adult is taking advantage of the lack of wisdom. His lack of self-restraint is no excuse, in my book. JMO :moo:

Added: Not every relationship with an age gap is one where someone is being taken advantage of. My parents had a slight age gap as well. I'm referring to this instance of HE and SM.

 

[ChristYTN]

My wife was 19 when we began dating. I am thirteen years older than she is. We had our first child together when she was twenty. We have one of the most normal, stable marriages I have ever known. She's went through a LOT when she was growing up. Alcoholic parents, living on her own from her sophomore year of high school and having her former significant other killed. Let's just say she is wize and mature beyond her years.

She currently works three jobs, is a full time student and has her priorities in order better then people three times her current age. I stay home with our daughter, work from home and homeschool our child...

Which bring me to another point. SOME homeschool families have their own untraditional schedules. If TM is a night owl, the children may be as well. If you don't have to get up for school in the morning, whybfight your natural clock to go to bed early? We know a family who literally ignore the clock for daily life. The kids wake/eat/study when they want to. They know their curriculum, what they need to complete on a daiky/weekly/long term basis and these kidsbare brilliant, well behaved and pretty stellar human beings. Our three year old tends to be a late to bed (10 ish) late to rise (9 ish) kid. She still naps and she thrives on being able to follow her natural clock.

TLDR- Not all relationships with huge age gaps are dysfunctional or inappropriate.

Homeschool families and children may have untraditional sleep and living schedules that are completely normal for themm

SM was old enough to be her father....

I know he knew how volatile his wife is.
Of course there was sexual attraction between SM and HE. She is beautiful and willing. She was flattered a fairly hot guy (her words not mine) found her beautiful and sexy.

My younger daughter did have a crush on a guy from the bank that is 10 years older than her. I had no problem with that. She did, when she found out he had kids. She didn't want baggage from an ex.



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[SuziQ]

Maybe not her receipt at all. Could match financial records of another party?

O/T Good to see you! :loveyou:

 

[Kensie]

CJVW - my father is 12 years older than my mother and they have been married over 40 years

I agree that age differences between adults are not necessarily bad...

Congrats to your parents. I just don't understand why a 20 year old with her full life ahead of her, would want to take on a soon to be ex wife and 3 kids. I know it happens all the time but is sure does seem crazy to me.

 

[poppygirl]

I don't understand why a 20 year old that is very pretty would want to be involved with an older, married man with 3 kids that looks like a schmuck.

My guess is Heather wasn't looking for a life partner. She was attracted to him and having to sneak around probably added to the excitement.

Though Sid isn't movie-star gorgeous, he's not hideous either. And we don't know him at all...he may have a very attractive personality that overrides what he physically looks like.

 

[Eileen730]

My mother wasn't strict with us, but she did tell us that nothing good happens after 2am. Sadly, there's a lot of truth to that.

LOL My mom said Midnight!

 

[poppygirl]

Congrats to your parents. I just don't understand why a 20 year old with her full life ahead of her, would want to take on a soon to be ex wife and 3 kids. I know it happens all the time but is sure does seem crazy to me.

I don't know that she was looking foanything more than a fling...at least not initially...or perhaps she told herself that but got more emotionally attached as the relationship progressed.

 

[JaimeSommers]

Depending on who text who!

what if heather sent a text to SM its very late and TM hears the phone and reads it she then pretends to be SM and says hey I want to be with you im leaving my wife..lets talk met me bla bla bla,,,, she does and TM is the one to meet her.

or

SM texts Heather and arranges to meet her TM is aware hes texting a lot and after SM leaves she follows,,,

Im with the first one and I don't think heather was corresponding with SM at all but was with TM....

BBM ... I have been wondering this, too, Eileen. Not that SM is innocent, because I don't think he is -- but I keep wondering whether whatever happened was initiated by TM, and SM found himself an accessory after the fact. Maybe?

 

[floridamomma]

I don't understand that, either. That was hours before her date....what significance would that even had unless there was something wrong with McD's clock and the time on the receipt was wrong??

I'm wondering if cameras picked up something of interest? like, a confrontation? idk

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[TTF14]

Congrats to your parents. I just don't understand why a 20 year old with her full life ahead of her, would want to take on a soon to be ex wife and 3 kids. I know it happens all the time but is sure does seem crazy to me.

I know someone who did just that. She was in her early twenties when she married someone 20 years older, divorced, with 3 kids (no affair; she met him totally randomly after his divorce). They are actually an adorable couple, and she's super mature. She probably wouldn't even match well with someone her own age.

With that said, I am divorced and dated someone a couple years ago who had previously dated someone about 25 years younger than him (for 3 years, starting when she was just 19). When I found this out, I broke it off. I just could.not. She was his employee and the skeeve factor was so high for me, especially knowing how in love with her he was.

The moral? Do as I say, not as I do :floorlaugh: