When searching for truth anything Arias says is rightly regarded as a potential lie in this case. In the audio referred to Travis calls Arias his girlfriend - several times. It's not simply that he doesn't correct her assertion. Travis, in his own words, describes her as his girlfriend. Just a few minutes in, TA repeats that she was his girlfriend.
I can't bear to listen to this tape beyond those first few minutes as what she was doing there was monsterously calculating. She ramps up the false lightness - dipping in and out of agenda negotiated topics. There is lots of evidence to support that she had little status beyond the title 'girlfriend' (for the briefest time) but it's important to record facts alongside opinions when evidence contains them.
I think I should clarify, we each speak from some level of personal experience I suppose, but my prior post was actually in reference to his own words more than anything, in May.
But yes, I don't see her value to him, in or outside of this video, as based on anything substantial. The tape is sabotage in itself. What I suggesting earlier, is that there
is a great deal of the psychological element involved in classifying someone as your companion or partner (boyfriend/girlfriend are just terms) that goes beyond the duration of time you were actually together. It's not so uncommon for people who feel "used" to see things quite differently after their breakup, they'll even null and void the definition of their time spent
altogether if their foundation deems it so.
That's how I believe TA saw it in May, himself. He was both disassociating and admitting his connection to her, yet the overriding sensation was unidentifiable to him. The circumstances that shaped TA's reality were heavily manipulated by Arias. Maybe he would have just said it was, 'a bad relationship' or 'she was a bad girlfriend,' but mentally and less so, verbally, he questioned it
all and later recognized his
actual status, was as her rather coaxed prey. What I see, is that he definitely formulated his opinions and emotionally expanded upon his experiences with her as time went on. He does have trouble with anger/confrontation, he chooses to rectify his anger with cajoling her, pitying her. At whatever stage he never would have verbally expressed, "should have never went out with you" anyway (and she knew he never would, his association of finding boundaries too intimidating was her ticket in).
I personally have known women who have been manipulated to such an extent that they certainly do question "Who really WAS that person," or "Who am I now," or "how could this have possibly happened to me?" I've read Travis's own words, he did
all of that. He is questioning everything about her. With the distance they had, perhaps he would have had enough time to realize what kind of person she really was, per say, if she ended up murdering someone else? Would he have said she was legitimately his girlfriend, or referred to himself as a possible victim/intended target (for his $$$ too)??
A friend of mine had actually found out her spouse was a narcissist who had been lying to her (the duration of their marriage), he either married her so she could be his 'trophy' or to appear socially adequate to others (her words, not mine). To anyone, the lying was the worst. The
defining element to how you view your relationship involved here is trust, foundation, and what is perceived by the
victim as breach of their reality. All cases, the women felt used, and felt they had a relationship if you will, by 'accident' (either a false person, or a false relationship).
They do NOT consider what happened at this point, remotely, a true relationship. It was a victim/predator trap they were caught up in, and they realize they were vulnerable, a target if you will. I find this plausible, I would hardly consider it a relationship if it was not based on the foundation I felt it did.
- This tape is all JA laughing, cajoling him, babytalking, baiting him with sex/manipulation. Travis sounds as if he'd be happy even if he weren't talking to her, and she sounds.. desperate. She says the things she has to, reminds him of her willingness for role-playing, relishes 'his stamina.' Everything he says, she coquettishly pacifies, her itinerary, is HIS itinerary. She just wants him to propose. This is the BPD but TA doesn't know it.
Now this
is all my opinion but either TA has already or would have eventually posed to himself, "Do I ever even tell anybody she was a girlfriend? Or was I scammed?"
- He didn't know she actually sent those psychotic letters to the Hughes to start a riot with his friends. So... the foundation to their status, was manipulated right from the get go. He does NOT know what he is getting himself into. Again, I see victim/predator relationship, or should I say,
dynamic.
Child abusers and pedophiles often 'groom' and isolate their victims (and the people entrusted to protect the children as well). Now TA's not a child and he made a choice to be with her but the mechanism used is the same, isn't it? In TA's case, he seems to be in quite the severe psychological turmoil when he realized he'd been targeted. He's a naive young man, but only because...
- Travis was abused - early childhood. He was sensitive, a big brother who a heart as most big brothers do, yet he was hurt, needed lots of reaffirmation, and sex and/or women were a weakness in that regard. Travis also had commitment problems. JA knew about all of this.
In his own words in May of '08, he felt used, he was nothing more than a "dildo with a heartbeat," that she was a sociopath, all she does is lie, and that he 'finally figured her out.' He is
telling us here, what he figures now she actually did. He said he'd cave to her desires out of weakness, yet what does he actually do? He ignores her, (got it off his chest?). He tells her, he was a nice guy, she manipulated what he THOUGHT was his reality. He is telling us this. He feels so violated that he explodes (instigated by whatever else it was that happened here). I am betting there is also much he didn't or couldn't express though, sure. It is quite difficult to express mental/emotional abuse.
Slightly related... just my opinion on his final day:
He was in fear. I know he's placated her many a times just so she won't kill him or slash his tires. Most times it might have been subconscious on his part, yet this time, I still say their 'sex' was rape/duress. I see my stalker is a psychopath and came to my residence to possibly kill me (knowing JA, she could not hide the look on her face).. would I say we had sex? *advertiser censored** no, and I have to wonder, if she were honest, she would even disassociate any 'status' with him.
. I don't believe Travis "used" the killer. He gave her the use of his car, helped pay her bills, fed her, paid her to clean his house to let her save face about taking money from him (not understanding her utter shamelessness), paid her way on trips likely knowing she would never repay him...the list of what he did for her goes on and on .
