SIDEBAR #17- Arias/Alexander forum

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gcharlie said:
HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES?
These are from a book called “Disorder in the American Courts” and are things people actually said in court... word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you *advertiser censored* me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Click to expand...



Way, way too funny. Are you standing in for YesOrNo? :floorlaugh:
 
I am here too. Hello Everyone.

I have been posting what I can in the Up to the Minute Forum about the plane crash in East Haven CT. What a shame.
 
gcharlie said:
PSM...whazzup? You sound down.
Click to expand...

Finally got in to see a specialist today and I'm a bit worried. Facing surgery but, until more tests are done, I don't know how extensive the surgery will be. I need a distraction, and my good friends here always make me feel better.
 
Dang, I did not hit the jackpot in Powerball! What gives?
 
Ricki said:
I am here too. Hello Everyone.

I have been posting what I can in the Up to the Minute Forum about the plane crash in East Haven CT. What a shame.
Click to expand...

Hi Ricki :seeya: I'll have to check that story out. I haven't heard anything about it.
 
I'm in a grumbly mood today. Everything has been stupid lately.

Had to make a second call today because we have not received a check from my son's educational plan to pay his college tuition. Found out that whoever took the message from my son did not pass it on.

Went back to get my hair re-done. Had it highlighted on 7/19 and wanted to look blonde. Came out less than one shade lighter than my dirty blonde :( and it took me three weeks of phone tag to set a new appointment.

Called AT&T again because our cell phone service at home has gone down the tubes. Got a different song and dance this time and they tried to sell me a microchip that does not work in my phone.

I won't even talk about yesterday. More stupid stuff.

Meanwhile, I'm having one of my real dizzy days where my vision is off and balance is bad.

Other than that, everything is hunky dory, thank you very much!
 
gcharlie said:
I'm in a grumbly mood today. Everything has been stupid lately.

Had to make a second call today because we have not received a check from my son's educational plan to pay his college tuition. Found out that whoever took the message from my son did not pass it on.

Went back to get my hair re-done. Had it highlighted on 7/19 and wanted to look blonde. Came out less than one shade lighter than my dirty blonde :( and it took me three weeks of phone tag to set a new appointment.

Called AT&T again because our cell phone service at home has gone down the tubes. Got a different song and dance this time and they tried to sell me a microchip that does not work in my phone.

I won't even talk about yesterday. More stupid stuff.

Meanwhile, I'm having one of my real dizzy days where my vision is off and balance is bad.

Other than that, everything is hunky dory, thank you very much!
Click to expand...

I imagine you are glad the weekend is here.
Hope your vision and balance improves. Be careful.
 
The weather has been soupy here today and now it is pouring cats and dogs. Weekend weather is suppose to be nice.
 
Anyone heard from Kensie today? I'm worried about her. :(
 
A verdict has been reached for Josh Young ... tune in to watch.
 
Tulessa said:
Anyone heard from Kensie today? I'm worried about her. :(
Click to expand...

I sent her a PM an hour or so ago asking if she went to the doctor and to let us know how she's doing. Hopefully, we'll hear something soon.

Kensie, if you're here, give us a shout!:seeya:
 
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