my_tee_mouse
Done. Put a Fork in Me.
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2008
- Messages
- 3,580
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- 38
I think people throw around the word "abuse" too easily. If anyone used such words on me, I would walk away or hang up and never speak to them again. It is ugly, angry and inappropriate. Travis should have simply never spoken to jodi again instead of using such language. But abuse? No.
I work with victims and perpetrators of abuse routinely, in connection with domestic violence litigation. Emotional abuse generally consists of threats, stalking, surveillance. None of what Travis has been proven to have done would get jodi a restraining order.
Of course, if he did that as part of a pattern of conduct that included some other factors, such as getting in her face while screaming in a threatening manner throwing things or breaking things while saying such horrible things, that's abuse.
But even if he talked like that on a continuous basis, which starts to get close to the actionable abuse realm, jodi would have been unable to get a restraining order against Travis without something more.
Of course I'm going by the legal definitions of abuse, not the psychological ones. But I find psychology to be very nebulous and without too many specific lines. Thus in psychology, if it "feels" abusive, it is abuse. And if you go with that definition for abuse, anything can be considered abusive: "He refused to pick up my calls after we just had sex. It made me feel uncomfortable and used." Eg.
BBM: Actually, if a client came in my door and announced he/she felt they were being abused, I would carefully examine the reasons they felt they were being abused because feeling put-upon, abused, and used can be indicative of an underlying personality disorder, schizophrenia, etc. Of course, I would also delve deeply into any specific/perceived instances of the abuse to try and determine if abuse was truly taking place.
Yes, there are psychological/counseling theories that go along the lines of, "If you feel it, it is," but they are not very popular anymore. These days counseling and psychology have turned to more practical means (thank goodness).