Silver linings - positive things this case has done for you!

[AZRiverRat]

:blowkiss:

I appreciate the baby/toddler my daughter is, trying not to wish these times to go by too fast. Which they do anyway. I hold her more, kiss her more, hug her more, smell her more, and pray continuously that nothing of this nature ever happens to any child again (I know, but I can pray).

I've also become determined to instill in my child a sense of responsibility for her actions, respect, ethics, and to make her aware of others. I feel so strongly that this last generation (teens and 20 somethings by the large) are all about ME. When did this sense of entitlement become the status quo? I surely wasn't raised that way. I was taught to look towards self before stepping out to place blame else where. If I was at a scene where something happened, even if I didn't do something, I was still at fault for being there kind of thing...
I thank my parents for that. I hope I can do 1/2 the job they did with my sisters and I.

:clap:

 

[RebeccaAdrianne]

This case got me to join a forum for the first time ever. Sometimes I regret ever joining. People just aren't nice on the internet. Even while patching together truths and lies related to a precious baby. Screw forums, but I can't seem to quit coming back. Go figure.

 

[txsvicki]

It's not done one positive thing for me. The reason is that a little girl is most likely dead for no reason. However, it is making me much more aware of pathological lying and what to watch out for. That's not really positive though.

 

[mommyto5monkeys]

It has made me more appreciative of my own children and more patient with them as well. Sometimes it's too easy to take things for granted that shouldn't be.

 

[AZRiverRat]

This case is tragic. As a parent, I always aim to try and appreciate each moment with my child. But, sometimes, with the daily grind and dealing with this cruel world, I fail miserably at true appreciation and instead I am consumed with preoccupation of worries and stress.

This case has made me more conscious than ever not to take my child for granted. To value each and every moment. To create each and every moment.

I was following this case heavily since it first broke, but I haven't been on websleuths for a few weeks now. Previously, I'd stay up late and sleuth after my child went to bed, or when she was playing with friends. But one Sunday I found myself all day in my pj's sleuthing, while my daughter watched tv and played and at some point I realized "this is ridiculous, I'm sleuthing this case while my precious child is available to hang out with me." I haven't sleuthed since. Instead, my daughter and I have spent our weekends going to the zoo, shopping, riding bikes, baking, painting the house, and various other activities. Together. And for the first time in a long time, I can truly say I've created and valued each and every moment to the fullest. Not half-as*ed. And that, my friends, is my silver lining.

:angel:

 

[blupencl]

This case got me to join a forum for the first time ever. Sometimes I regret ever joining. People just aren't nice on the internet. Even while patching together truths and lies related to a precious baby. Screw forums, but I can't seem to quit coming back. Go figure.

Ah, but listen to this story, which I will abbreviate since it is OT. I have been on the net since about 1994. I am friends with a lot of other women who do the same kind of work I do (medical transcription). Sometimes we fight like rabid dogs. We are from one end of the US to the other, and from north to south. One woman lives in Sebastopol, CA. She is rather reclusive. She's single and lives alone with her cats (honest). My good friend lives close to Portland, Maine. I am in Arkansas. Another woman lives in NY. We all speak to each other every day on the internet. It is where I get all my work, networking with these people.

The Sebastopol woman didn't show up on line one day. Then it stretched into two days. Somebody mentioned it. The Maine woman talked to the NY woman, who talked to somebody else, and somebody else. Finally, our friend Paula, who lives about 30 minutes from Sebastopol, called our friend and she didn't answer. So she and her husband got in the car and drove to her house.

Nobody answered the door. They looked in the windows and there she was, under the bed, feet sticking out. THey called 911. She'd had a stroke and couldn't get out from under that bed. She had been there for three days. As it turned out, the stroke was from a brain tumor.

We are all still friends, all still speak to each other every day, all still fight like cats and dogs. But we are there for each other.

 

[HelloKitty]

This case has made me hug my children even more and even closer everyday. It has made me apprecitae them more. And it has made me feel even more like I want to go back to school and be involved with childrens services. It also reminded me of the evil that exist in this world.... And the sadness.

 

[not_my_kids]

I have finally memorized the phone number of the cool little pizza place down the street since I call them so often.

I learned that if you dethaw hamburger in the microwave and then get caught up in the case and forget it, you can play a fun family game of find that smell.

Children can live on TV dinners.

Dirty laundry does not lead to infection and two year olds don't care if you turn their shirts inside out for one more day of wear time.

Cats left unfed and unattended for more than 6 hours will chew throught the bottom of cat food bags and feed themselves.

 

[Short_Stuff]

This case made me be more grateful than ever in these ways;
I have a more open dialect in a nice way with my own daughter who was a mother very young (shes now 27). Instead of being bossy about her kids, (like Cindy is and like I WAS), I now talk calm and give suggestions "if asked", and tell her about lifes experiences saying Im just trying to help from that experience. I also told her I am thankful to God that she took responsibility early on with her first child, and I told her that she is now a wonderful Mom of 3 girls (and married) and I am glad it turned out this way for all of them.
But at the same time, I am also glad I helped my daughter back then, but I "never" enabled my daughter (again like Cindy).
And most of all I am more thankful than ever for my darling granddaughters who I love more than life itself.
Sorry, I guess this all has made me sentimental.

 

[taxijane99]

Like allot of the other mommies on here I hug my babies a little tighter, tell them I love them allot more, and cherish every single second of this beautiful life we are so blessed to be able to share with each other!
Thank you for thinking of such a nice topic in the midst of such a tragedy. It was so touching to read everybody's responses. It is the most (or only) positive thoughts or feelings I have had about this since the whole thing started.Thank you seeker78!:clap:

 

[OakIceShimmer]

I found this place and in doing so have found out how many missing persons there are.

As things slow in the case, and I think they will before trial, or when this case has you on emotional and/or sensory overload, I suggest you all take a look around the whole place here, not just the Caylee section. There is a whole new section here (a work in progress) here Lighting the Way Home a great resource. You can make a difference here, if interested contact christine2448.

On this case I have been involved with investigating through the Internet various money trails. The end result will be asking for some type of charity oversight, because what exists is not working.

The same for me...I found WS and the outstanding community & sense of family here. The awesome commitment they have for their cause is inspirational, the humour irrepressable, the dedication and professionalism over the top.
Oak

 

[OakIceShimmer]

I have finally memorized the phone number of the cool little pizza place down the street since I call them so often.

I learned that if you dethaw hamburger in the microwave and then get caught up in the case and forget it, you can play a fun family game of find that smell.

Children can live on TV dinners.

Dirty laundry does not lead to infection and two year olds don't care if you turn their shirts inside out for one more day of wear time.

Cats left unfed and unattended for more than 6 hours will chew throught the bottom of cat food bags and feed themselves.

Too funnny
Should add those to the You Know You're Addicted to WS When... thread in the Parking Lot.

Husbands stop asking what's for supper and make it themselves.
Oak

 

[CarrieBean]

Seeing anything like this sure makes me appreciate my kids a whole lot more.

 

[thatswhatshesaid]

There is no silver lining for this case. Perhaps a silver lining to WS membership and seeing the capable people on here. But not this case. It's addicting to want to watch justice for Caylee and to play armchair psychologist on her psycho of a mother, but I too reclaimed my time online and with my kids back and scaled much of the time I spent on here. Life's too short and precious.

Right now, a friend 1500 miles away from me is burying her 11 mo. baby son. He died because of waiting too long for a liver transplant. She's also 23. She's a mom to two other children, and even while watching her youngest slowly die and living out of a suitcase, in an out of state hospital for the last several months, she still flew home to help her kids start their school year and have birthday parties for them. She's a real woman and mother. Knowing there are more people like her than Casey is at least somewhat of a silver lining.

 

[aprilraindance]

Without getting to personal and airing all my family's dirty laundry I would like to say this case has pushed me towards taking care of an issue that has needed to be dealt with for a couple of years now.
You see our life is not so different from the Anthony's. We have a daughter who shares MANY of the same character flaws that KC does. She is also the same age as KC. (please don't hate me because our daughter is mentally unstable. We spent thousands of dollars when she was 12-17 years old on programs and counseling, we did everything the professionals and clergy told us to do, NO AVAIL)
She has a daughter that my husband and I have been raising basically since birth who is almost 3, we call her Princess Raspberry. She is our whole world.
Our daughter bore another child in March of this year, a son. He was also in our care. SIDS stole him on June 30th 2008. So in a since I know how the A's are feeling with loss of a grand child that you feel so bonded to as if you are the bio parent. As well as knowing full well how it feels to have a daughter that exhaust you mentally, emotionally and financially. Been there done all of that!
For the last year when our daughter stops in for a visit and I or my husband says something she does not like. She takes our Princess Raspberry for a few days to "punish" us, of course the excuse is always that she misses Princess Raspberry.
When Caylees plight came to light and I stared reading. The similarities staggered me. The icing on the cake was reading the different personality profiles. It scared the stuffing out of me.
My husband and I have checked with attorneys about getting custody of Princess Raspberry on 2 occasions but were met with allot of red tape and a basic answer of "It is so hard to have a mothers rights terminated."http://www.websleuths.com/forums/images/smilies/emotbanghead.gif
Now after this horrid,sad,disgusting case has partially come to light. Well lets say it is Katie Bar the door!
We are full force seeking to terminate our daughters rights as a mother and I will NOT rest until this is done. Not once more will she walk out the door with our P.R. no matter what ! I will NOT take for granted that my prayers of protection for our cherished granddaughter will be answered. We will not take the chance with her sweet little life. She is far to precious to us and to those who know and love her she is a special girl.

 

[karenz]

Without getting to personal and airing all my family's dirty laundry I would like to say this case has pushed me towards taking care of an issue that has needed to be dealt with for a couple of years now.
You see our life is not so different from the Anthony's. We have a daughter who shares MANY of the same character flaws that KC does. She is also the same age as KC. (please don't hate me because our daughter is mentally unstable. We spent thousands of dollars when she was 12-17 years old on programs and counseling, we did everything the professionals and clergy told us to do, NO AVAIL)
She has a daughter that my husband and I have been raising basically since birth who is almost 3, we call her Princess Raspberry. She is our whole world.
Our daughter bore another child in March of this year, a son. He was also in our care. SIDS stole him on June 30th 2008. So in a since I know how the A's are feeling with loss of a grand child that you feel so bonded to as if you are the bio parent. As well as knowing full well how it feels to have a daughter that exhaust you mentally, emotionally and financially. Been there done all of that!
For the last year when our daughter stops in for a visit and I or my husband says something she does not like. She takes our Princess Raspberry for a few days to "punish" us, of course the excuse is always that she misses Princess Raspberry.
When Caylees plight came to light and I stared reading. The similarities staggered me. The icing on the cake was reading the different personality profiles. It scared the stuffing out of me.
My husband and I have checked with attorneys about getting custody of Princess Raspberry on 2 occasions but were met with allot of red tape and a basic answer of "It is so hard to have a mothers rights terminated."http://www.websleuths.com/forums/images/smilies/emotbanghead.gif
Now after this horrid,sad,disgusting case has partially come to light. Well lets say it is Katie Bar the door!
We are full force seeking to terminate our daughters rights as a mother and I will NOT rest until this is done. Not once more will she walk out the door with our P.R. no matter what ! I will NOT take for granted that my prayers of protection for our cherished granddaughter will be answered. We will not take the chance with her sweet little life. She is far to precious to us and to those who know and love her she is a special girl.

Wow. You so gave me goosebumps. Thank you for sharing.

I agree with most everything said on WS but I get very nervous when people start blaming the parents. Not that they may not have contributed to it but just because a child has problems, it is not necessarily anything to do with the parents.

I work w/ addicts/alcoholics and many of them have children. One of them has a son who is in jail for the rest of his life, totally not a nice person to say it nicely. Her other is the son you always dreamed of, kind and thoughtful and never broke a rule in his life. The mother was the same mother to both but they turned out dramatically different. I hope you don't read these threads about how it is all CA's fault and feel bad that your daughters problems are your fault. You sound like you took every measure.

Please do whatever you feel is necessary to help your Princess. You may be the only advocate she has.

My prayers are with you!:blowkiss:

 

[gigi2009]

I always appreciated and cherished my family knowing that I've been truly blessed. But what this case did for me and is the "silver lining" is that I decided to get involved. I signed up with TES, drove by myself on Labor Day with an Ice Truck and met people that have changed my life forever. I returned the following weekend with my husband, spent the night and searched again. So through this tragedy, I have met some of the greatest people who have changed my perspective and made me realize that there are so many good people in the world. I received a great gift in meeting them and I hope to see them again under happier circumstances.

 

[tiredofthis]

It reminds me to tell my children I love them every day.

 

[aprilraindance]

Wow. You so gave me goosebumps. Thank you for sharing.

I agree with most everything said on WS but I get very nervous when people start blaming the parents. Not that they may not have contributed to it but just because a child has problems, it is not necessarily anything to do with the parents.

I work w/ addicts/alcoholics and many of them have children. One of them has a son who is in jail for the rest of his life, totally not a nice person to say it nicely. Her other is the son you always dreamed of, kind and thoughtful and never broke a rule in his life. The mother was the same mother to both but they turned out dramatically different. I hope you don't read these threads about how it is all CA's fault and feel bad that your daughters problems are your fault. You sound like you took every measure.

Please do whatever you feel is necessary to help your Princess. You may be the only advocate she has.

My prayers are with you!:blowkiss:

Thank you for your prayers, we can never get to many of them.
Thank you for your words of encouragement those are also in short supply most of the time.
We battled SO hard for our daughter for so many years. Somehow nothing "took" or "triggered" in her mind to get her to look at things in a fresh light and start acting appropriately. For MANY years we beat ourselves up. I only,3 years ago, was able to let go of it. The guilt was a huge weight that bared down upon me. When I released it My GOSH what a fresh perspective I obtained! My husband was able to let go of the guilt long before I was.
When I read the finger pointing towards the A's it makes me feel so sad for them as these people have been victimized ,IMO, so MANY times by SO many persons. KC tormented them for years I can assure you, they have blamed themselves for years and probably do still today(this is the hardest criticism to deal with), then the public with wild accusations and sometimes outlandish theories.Not to mention those crazy protesters. Then the media too. I am not saying they are perfect I am just saying they are human and I understand and have empathy for them.
Again, we appreciate your support Karen. Take care.

 

[celebraion]

This case has helped me do a lot of soul searching since my husband and I are ready to have a baby of our own. (if we can be so lucky) I've asked myself, what if the baby is like Casey? It stresses the importance of parent involvement, so many do's & don'ts! Then I see Caylee's pictures and just want to sit and cry all day because of how that precious baby was taken away, all of us would have snatched her up in a heartbeat and given her a life full of love if we could have!
Many people here also know someone a bit like Casey, imo it's helped us to open our eyes better and look for warning signs and understand that it's not good to keep ignoring problems and hoping that someday things will get better on their own.

VB

This is my silver lining, too. No more glossing over the lies and mistruths and grand stories that don't quite sound feasible - too damaging to myself as well as the person who is doing the lying.