The Sidebar - Harris Trial

[NCTeacher]

Where are all of LH pictures, did only RH have pictures....or maybe they were fishing for other info. We will never know.

It was said the pictures were saved on the digital devices. You are assuming she had pictures "developed."

Millennial couples, like myself and my husband, have everything digital too.

 

[byo]

Veronica Waters ‏@MissVWaters 8m8 minutes ago

#RossHarris The jury has wrapped its deliberations for the day. Back at it at 8:30 Thursday morning. @wsbradio

 

[byo]

Cathy ‏@courtchatter 7m7 minutes ago

#RossHarris - If you consider the time they took to review videos today, lunch break, etc.. they may have only deliberated 3 1/2 hrs today.

 

[GA_Peach]

I think he had a love/hate relationship with his wife. She treated him like a child. He related to her as a mother figure, not a romantic partner, imo. But at that point, hearing he was about to be arrested, seeing her was exactly what he wanted. She was the one who could comfort and protect him the most.

That's what mothers do - comfort and protect. I think Leanna did herself a lot of favors by testifying, but the flip side is that she showed how much Ross abused her forgiving and submissive nature.

 

[Rayemonde]

I looked up some research on grief, and found something interesting (BBM):

By far the most common response we see in our research is a pattern we call "resilience." We see this pattern in between one third and two thirds of bereaved people. It looks like the term suggests. People who show a resilient outcome struggle initially with the pain of loss, as almost everyone does, but they manage to deal with the sadness and distress with equanimity. Their pain is acute, usually lasting most pointedly for a few days to a few weeks but then begins to subside. It is not that they don't grieve, or that they didn't care; far from it. Rather, they are able to put the pain aside when they need to and they continue to meet the demands of their life. They work, they take care of loved ones. They even laugh and experience moments of joy. They accept the loss, readjust their sense of what is, and move on.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...snt-come-in-stages-and-its-not-the-same-every

 

[Paulas88]

BBM^^^ Having dealt for decades with parents of injured & deceased children in the ER Trauma Unit..I can attest..Over all those decades..Never ever saw one parent..let alone both parents act the way they did!! Sure it's possible that both of these 2 are somehow an aberrancy in human nature..BUT it just doesn't ring true..especially Ross..the culpable one who strapped his 22 month old into his SUV..walked away within 5 minutes of doing so..then to see him in these interviews repeated today..Only reminds me why I gut responded to them in the first place.!!

I still believe Ross is a hollow vessel of humanity..sure loved his kid..but for some odd reason..Cooper became a liability to his true wants for his own life!! "Child Free" for sure..Marriage??? Who knows..but LeANNA sure was a marriage partner he had been able to dupe and acted very submissive .. Ross's world was falling apart..especially employment wise..his alter-ego prevented him from producing work product..yet his personal addiction to it was somehow undetected for years+++++++ ..

Ross, if got away with it.. now doubt would have remained married with a "Patsy LeAnna" in tow..as he knew she was committed to marriage ( religion and upbringing that mandated such dedication)!! But in the end..because of his proven infidelity ..which went way beyond watching... LeAnna had to leave and get a divorce.. IF she stayed...she would ( and she knew it) in her mind be seen as an enabler of it..and knew she could never trust this man ever again!! I also think she does subconsciously blame herself in some degree!!

IMO, he would've divorced LH. He didn't want to pay child support, and was getting his ducks in a row.

 

[NCTeacher]

That's what mothers do - comfort and protect. I think Leanna did herself a lot of favors by testifying, but the flip side is that she showed how much Ross abused her forgiving and submissive nature.

That makes so much sense and further elucidates her reaction. Sort of like a mother who has two children and one dies, her motherly instincts would kick in and mother the other sibling (comfort him/protect him) before allowing herself to feel. That is pretty consistent with what people who knew the Harrises and the dynamic of their relationship. She seemed eager though, to follow a biblical format to her home, having him filling the role of "leader."

 

[Boodles]

I looked up some research on grief, and found something interesting (BBM):



https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...snt-come-in-stages-and-its-not-the-same-every

That study refers to bereavement, long term. It'snot talking about the intense grief and immediate responses at the time of the loss, never mind a tragic, unexpected, torturous death of a child.

 

[bellesnwhistles]

Cathy ‏@courtchatter 7m7 minutes ago

#RossHarris - If you consider the time they took to review videos today, lunch break, etc.. they may have only deliberated 3 1/2 hrs today.

Why are they only working until 430? Is that weird to anyone else? In other trials I've followed they deliberate well into the night

 

[monkeypants]

Me either. But I think she cared waaaay too much about him.l Desperate to keep him. He was her focus.



Who said that? Gross.



Yeah. My belief is she wanted to parrot him and support him. I see a woman with extremely low self-esteem whose world was in knowing Ross loved and antwed her. Cooper was not close to first. And I bet he could've beaten her and she'd stay with her man and just try to be a better wife.



I'm sorry. With respect, no. There is no way that anyone who has gone through the death of a close, significant family member could possibly believe that concerns about one's job or car or whatever would even come to the person's mind at a time like that, shortly after the death. Everything stops. Nothing matters but family and loved ones. And if the person who died is a child? In a horrible accident? No way in hell would any sane, normal parent reasonably give two chits about their job, their car, their life at that moment. No way. :twocents:

Ross during his convo with LH in the room. Even poor coopers talks with god have to be all about ross apparently...

 

[monkeypants]

Why are they only working until 430? Is that weird to anyone else? In other trials I've followed they deliberate well into the night

At this rate they will be deliberating a month...they barely are in that room between breaks, lunch and leaving so early. And no court on friday

 

[Rayemonde]

More from Dr. George Bonanno :

Q: Why do certain people not exhibit any grief patterns?

A: Up until recently, it hasn't really been known. Most investigators in the field, I think, would say that people who don't show grief have something wrong with them — they either are defensive, or cold, or they never cared about the person to begin with, or they weren't attached. I had argued no, maybe they're just healthy people. We followed a group of people in Michigan over six years in a bereavement study where we knew a lot about the people before the loss occurred. We showed that about half the sample showed no symptoms at any point in the study. They just were not depressed before or after the loss, and we found that they were healthy people. They had fine relationships. The interviewers did not find them cold or aloof, and they did not score high on a measure we had of avoidant attachment. That doesn't mean that a healthy person won't grief also, but it seemed that they [a person who feels no grief] might feel sad, they might miss the person, but they keep functioning. We know that the people who don't show grief, it's fair to say, are healthy people.

...

Q: You have studied bereavement both in the United States and in China. Are there any notable cultural differences you've found in terms of grieving?

A: Americans grieve the loss of a child very severely; they grieve much more profoundly when they lose a child than when they lose a spouse. That's been shown in a few studies and we found that in our study, but the Chinese didn't do that. They grieved the loss of the spouse and the loss of a child the same. So there are cultural differences.

http://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/coping/why-some-people-dont-grieve.htm

 

[Hope4More]

IMO, he would've divorced LH. He didn't want to pay child support, and was getting his ducks in a row.

Here it's fair game for any manner of speculation and opinion. I hope and assume the jury sticks with just the evidence, though, and in this case....

* there is no evidence at all--as in, none-- that RH wanted to divorce Leanna, only evidence that he wanted no such thing.

* And there also is no direct evidence of any kind -none- that he was willing to kill his son Cooper in order to not be married to Leanna anymore.

*And there is no direct evidence of any kind -none-that he didn't love Cooper.

*And there is no direct evidence -none- that RH was a sociopath.

One of the best lines in Kilgore's closing was how ludicrous it was for LE- yes, up until Stoddard's turn on the stand- to suspect Leanna (and for some, beyond), as if it made sense for Leanna to be complicit in a plot to kill Cooper so RH didn't have to be with her anymore, or is it, that Leanna was so soulless and desperate for RH that she'd conspire to kill her son so he would stay with her, the wife he was willing to kill his son in order to escape?

 

[flourish]

A little off topic but I keep seeing tweets from Duffie Dixon, a reporter down south there. That's a trip for me because like 20 years ago she was a reporter for my small-ish hometown in Idaho, and my son's father worked at the local TV station with her. I'd forgotten all about her and saw her name here and was like, "wait a second! That's that reporter from way back when!" She was pretty nice and down to earth from what I saw and remember. Nice to see she moved up into a bigger market.

ETA: I always wondered what his coworkers thought when he didn't come back to work one day because he'd been sent to prison for hurting my baby. IDK if they even knew.

 

[monkeypants]

I think he had a love/hate relationship with his wife. She treated him like a child. He related to her as a mother figure, not a romantic partner, imo. But at that point, hearing he was about to be arrested, seeing her was exactly what he wanted. She was the one who could comfort and protect him the most.

He is concerned that everyone will hate him...he knows she won't. But the real reason he needs to hear that from her has nothing to do with cooper and EVERYTHING to do with his phone imo.

 

[pocketaccent]

They are coming up to their end of the deliberations for the day. I bet they come to the judge tomorrow at the end, saying either they have a verdict or they are stuck.

Hopefully now that they viewed the videos again, they have affirmed:

-RH lied about - Lightbulb trip & sexting instead of working while Cooper was dying.
-RH had a future plan already for himself as an advocate.
-RH was crying real tears only after he learned that he will be charged.
-RH didn't seem devastated of the fact that Cooper must have suffered a great deal. Nonchalant about Cooper's suffering yet getting charged broke his cold heart.

 

[minor4th]

I think Ross was ambivalent towards Leanna. I don't think he disliked her or felt hostility towards her, but I don't think he ordered his life around her or had any respect or consideration for her either. There was no intimacy in their marriage but it doesn't seem like either of them really wanted out of the marriage, despite that.

I think he was comfortable with her and stayed with her because he didn't want the hassle of a divorce and he didn't want Cooper to have a "broken home."

 

[Hope4More]

That's what mothers do - comfort and protect. I think Leanna did herself a lot of favors by testifying, but the flip side is that she showed how much Ross abused her forgiving and submissive nature.

I don't know who she used to be before her world turned upside down, but the woman I saw on the stand seemed rather formidable to me, seemed like she could go toe to toe with anyone if she so chose.

Isn't the term for that --steel magnolia?

 

[LyndyLoo]

IMO, he would've divorced LH. He didn't want to pay child support, and was getting his ducks in a row.

That's very true..except both of them have to be upstanding "Christians" ..which is how Ross personified for over 6+ years..Played guitar @ church and LeAnne believe in "Marriage forever" with one stipulation..Infidelity..That was the only "Red line she had apparently" !! Well, LeAnne offered or asked about Divorce before Cooper's death..and once again Ross said absolutely no blah blah blah~~~

But I do agree with you about that huge point about having to spend the next 16 years paying support for his son...THAT very well could be the deal breaker for him. Then of course, tho inadmissible..the 27K life insurance they had on Cooper too would bail him out of a lot of debt above and beyond burying their sacrificed child!!

Maybe I'm just a person who has learned throughout her life and career ..People present behaviours..words..some seem appropriate..and some don't..I developed a real " Hinkey Meter" over my 45++ years dealing with folks in very stressful situations..NOT all came across ..and I not just sensed it..I felt it. Many say things and it doesn't fit ..then others overly act out..yet had no symptoms..(Drug Seekers)..The list is endless really..BUT when a family member starts yelling at me..because of being distraught..I always took it from where it was coming...Not personally..had many techniques for calming down..reassuring for those ones... What ones see's isn't always an honest presentation ..and it's those dishonest ones's that set off my "Hinkey Meter"!!

 

[monkeypants]

Here it's fair game for any manner of speculation and opinion. I hope and assume the jury sticks with just the evidence, though, and in this case....

* there is no evidence at all--as in, none-- that RH wanted to divorce Leanna, only evidence that he wanted no such thing.

* And there also is no direct evidence of any kind -none- that he was willing to kill his son Cooper in order to not be married to Leanna anymore.

*And there is no direct evidence of any kind -none-that he didn't love Cooper.

*And there is no direct evidence -none- that RH was a sociopath.

One of the best lines in Kilgore's closing was how ludicrous it was for LE- yes, up until Stoddard's turn on the stand- to suspect Leanna (and for some, beyond), as if it made sense for Leanna to be complicit in a plot to kill Cooper so RH didn't have to be with her anymore, or is it, that Leanna was so soulless and desperate for RH that she'd conspire to kill her son so he would stay with her, the wife he was willing to kill his son in order to escape?

Didn't they find a divorce checklist or something on his computer?