PositiveLight
Active Member
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2016
- Messages
- 2,212
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- 104
I personally can understand where you are coming from.O/T I apologize for skipping through to post this...probably someone has already expressed this, sorry.
Please, if you are on the side of "he became a monster because of his childhood," please understand that there are those of us who raised our children the best we could, with no abuse, either physical or mental, who still ended up raising a child with mental issues. My daughter has diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, among other issues. She is also convinced that my hubby beat her as a child, that he has several DUI's (he's never even been pulled over), and other scenarios that simply DID NOT HAPPEN - not even close. She was spanked a few times for things like stealing and hiding my wedding ring and a cellphone at age 8-9. She swears to this day she doesn't remember ever hiding the ring under my bed or hiding the cellphone in her closet (we only have one child, so it had to be her unless it was a poltergeist or something.) You can razz me about the spankings if you want to, but they were normal spankings, not beatings. She's our biological child and we've never separated, so I know how she was raised - and yet - here she is in her mid twenties, kinda mentally ill. We're about as middle class normal as you can get. I mean, we don't even argue much; we "discuss" issues. haha.
My point is, if you're going to theorize about how a mentally ill person is created, please have a little compassion for parents like me. I really, really do appreciate the fact that we can all speak our minds here on WS, but I'm not sure I can keep reading this particular thread because it just breaks my heart and makes me feel like a failure.
I honestly think there are just wires crossed that even the most loving situations cannot fix. My daughter is Bi Polar and a handful. Going through a manic episode at the moment actually. So don't blame yourself! You are doing and have done all you can to help her. At a certain point it's out of our hands. They grow up and we can no longer help them. Spankings are totally different than beatings. Do not judge you at all! Been there too!
Time out only gives them the time to figure out how to do it again without getting caught! :facepalm: Granted it works on some children, but not all of them.
And yes I agree with the making up stuff that didn't happen!
That's why I say that with some situations it doesn't matter what you do... there's not always a good ending. Can't blame the parents all the time. We don't know how much of what he's saying is even true. I actually take his thoughts with a grain of salt.
Having a child with issues tears a family apart. Causes so much stress and fear and it's constant. Even when they grow up we STILL worry and are scared of THAT phone call.