angelwngs said:
He waited in the basement for their return from the party.
And agggggggggggain discusses that he wishes he had carried her body to her own bed, laid down beside her and killed himself.....
If I have to read much more of this crap I'm beginning to wish he had finished himself off then too to save anyone this tortured reading of his crap........
He wanted to kill himself when Patsy died too. He wanted so much to talk to Patsy before she died. He didn't go to the funeral but grieved at home.
One thing - he wrote several times about going to JBR's grave and kissing her name on the headstone. I remember reading about a hidden camera there when they were supposedly checking to see if the killer would come to the grave. I suppose they didn't keep it there for long and keep all the video from it? Not that it would be any proof he killed her, either.
He said he wore tight driving gloves in most of his time in the house except part of the time he was with JBR. He was angry at having to provide proof he was there and talked of never giving his dna. The runny nose and perfume, he thought were amazing proof no one else would know. He planned to remain anonymous and hidden, while publishing his book with Tracey's assistance, and also while communicating with both parents.
He said he wrote the note left handed in the dark, and deliberately made it confusing to lead people on a wild goose chase, and he didn't get the 118000 from any specific reason except that it would be easy to get whereas Ramsey probably didn't have a million dollars in the bank. He goes into this at length. He says when he wrote it, shortly before they came home, he really was planning to kidnap her.
The duct tape, he seems confused about, either he put it on after he bashed her head so blood wouldn't come out, or he put it on as staging, or both.
The theme he returns to over and over is that he wishes he took her, or killed himself there with her, since either way he'd still be with her. I do see some inconsistency. He thinks of himself as her Prince and wanted her parents to understand that too, that he only killed her because he didin't want her to be alive and a vegetable from the choking, which he calls "asphyxia erotica".
I remember commentators talking about that thing and thought it unlikely to be used on a child but apparently it was.
And he claims he never killed another child, but always returned them after taking them. So he did take other children. (that is, if any of this is true). He also claims an 8 year old girl who spoke no English asked him to bind her hands, and that it was hard to find a little girl to have sex with, but all of them let him kiss their backs.
I don't know, one thing that shows his naivety is trusting Tracey at all in all that correspondence. That bothers me. That makes him seem like a psycho who was making it up and knowing he'd be turned in and waiting for that. Somehow I think a lot of it is too histrionic to be believable. If he is so smart he should have known he'd be caught.
Gosh I guess 90% of the interested forumites are reading these hundreds of pages and that's why there's hardly any new posts on some forums, and the other 10% is shrugging it off saying he was a psycho liar. I'm reading it because it's weirder than anything I've ever come across in my life.
I do think he was heavily influenced by JBR's mother's name being the same as his mother's name. He was reliving with JBR what his mother did to him, he alluded to that briefly though I haven't got to the details yet if he put them in.
Here is one of his quotes: "It was an intimate love affair for me. It was my secret and JonBenet's secret. They have no right to expose her and me. It hurts. There are so many lies. I don't want to share her with the media. I hate them and how they sell my darling little girl like a commodity."
