TX - Boy, 9, Commits Suicide at School

[Linda7NJ]

that is so funny because between the private and the public school that my son attended, bullying was much worse at the private school. they were clicked into the haves and have nots, the sports kids and fat kids, the nerds and non-nerds just like at any public school. and boy they were mean...and the parents were the same dang way it seemed. so much of it was about what family had what and who could buy the most at the silent auctions translated into who had pull at the school. it's so odd how people have such different experiences.

I guess it depends on the teachers and the schools philosophy?

My son's school is not a brand new, huge, state of the arts place. That kinda steers the "Jone's" in another direction.

There were a few children back when my son was in first and second grade who arrived to school by limo daily. Their mom's wore Chinchilla and Russian Sable coats to the SPRING science fair ...lol I could go on...but I won't. One child was kicked out for repeated name calling and the other left because the school could not "meet the needs" of her intellectually gifted child....funny her son ATE the scab of another child...............roflmao!

 

[Boyz_Mum]

I wonder why we NEVER hear a parent say "my kid IS a bully, and I need help with controlling their behavior and/or teaching him/her how to be less agressive toward other children"??? I can honestly say that my kids aren't bullies.... because they don't even exist, yet. Just tossing this out there, though. What DO you do when another parent accuses your child of bullying? Do you get defensive and deny that your child has done anything? Do you put your kid in counseling or work with him/her at home to straighten them out and let them know that it is not o.k. to bully??

You know, I've never heard a parent say, "my kid is a bully". The situations that we've encountered with bullying, the parent(s) of the bullying child are the ones that are in the school office bullying the office staff because they don't agree that their child is capable of bully behavior. It amazes me.

One of ours was caught name calling and we were the only parents who showed up at school (about 8 kids were involved) and made sure our son apologized directly to the person that was being called names. He had 2 choices: he could call someone a name and get all his 'stuff' taken away OR he could be a decent person and treat the person being bullied as he'd like to be treated. Thankfully, he made the right choice. One instance of name calling doesn't make him a bully IMO but every bully starts somewhere, right?

 

[theforgotten]

This is awful. I would think he was suffering from depression and the bullying made it worse. His family are in my thoughts and prayers. I was always made fun of when I was in school. Maybe that's why I never go to my high school reunions.

 

[joga]

I guess it depends on the teachers and the schools philosophy?

My son's school is not a brand new, huge, state of the arts place. That kinda steers the "Jone's" in another direction.

There were a few children back when my son was in first and second grade who arrived to school by limo daily. Their mom's wore Chinchilla and Russian Sable coats to the SPRING science fair ...lol I could go on...but I won't. One child was kicked out for repeated name calling and the other left because the school could not "meet the needs" of her intellectually gifted child....funny her son ATE the scab of another child...............roflmao!

that is hilarious! my daughter is in the GATE class and she's got several of the "just too gifted" kids in her class. at opening house, we were all kind of discussing with the teacher how the amount of homework she was giving was making our kids have frickin emotional breakdowns every night. one mom (i went to school with her husband who was very intelligent, but knew it and was a total jerk) is kind of giggling to herself and says in a snooty way how she just doesn't understand why it's taking these kids so long to get their homework done, because her son is done in like, 25 minutes every night. the teacher goes well i hate to inform you, but your son doesn't take very long because he's not turning in his homework and getting study hall almost every day. talk about a piece of humble pie!!

now that you mention the different philosophies, it does make sense...his was an old school catholic school where they kind of had the attitude of "toughen up kid, this is how people are out in the real world and you need to learn to stand up for yourself". not saying that was the right attitude, but it is kind of what i saw.

 

[Missizzy]

Our beautiful, dear, kind 7 year old granddaughter was suspended from camp this summer for two days for bullying. Her mother, our daughter, was mortified, and certain that "all was lost". We were all really surprised. This child has been raised to be caring and gentle. This was not the girl I knew.

I rarely have the grandkids brought over to me to talk but we did this time. What surprised me was that she bullied a little boy bigger than her. He's a quiet child and not threatening at all. She not only called him bad names but she threw a bowl of some sort of snack on him and tried to get the other children at the table to laugh. She was outta that room in a heartbeat and her parents called. Kudos to the counselor.

In talking with her it was clear to me what was going on. She was born to her Mom when her Mom was single and only 18. Her Mom got married to a her love of five years this summer and our granddaughter really gets along very well with her new step-dad. They've all been close for years. However, when we started looking back, we realized that there'd been the big wedding ordeal and a 2 week honeymoon in Mexico.

Everybody was thinking that *advertiser censored*** must be having so much fun but she experienced it as a lot of change and a real lack of control over her own life. When I brought all this up to her and role-played, she was easily able to tell me what went wrong. She even went as far as to disclose to me that she'd pinched her little dog a couple of times. We talked extensively about that. She cried her eyes out but I was very firm until we were all finished and then I held her. I think she was very relieved that the "truth was out". We called her Mom and Daddy in and together all worked out a plan. She showed remorse and was assisted in writing a letter of apology and doing three kind things for the boy.

We also advised our daughter and son-in-law to alert the first grade teacher to this behavior. One or two tiny things have come up and they've been dealt with quickly. One thing which was helpful for our little gal, was giving her emotional permission to speak her mind and not "play goodie two-shoes". We'd all noticed that she'd been assuming a role of the perfect little girl. When she'd come in to visit, she'd say, "Hi, Mimi, and how are you today?" in this breathy, sickening sweet voice. When we'd ask how she was, she'd say "Wonderful". Yuck.

The entire family sat her down and said we were tired of that voice and we wanted to hear what the "Real *advertiser censored***" was thinking and feeling. Every time she's tried it since, we call her on it, using the same language and she stops.

It's not lost on me that this could have gotten past a lot of parents and grandparents. If it hadn't been stopped, I have no doubt she would have kept acting out until she got the attention she needed.

Jenni--Congratulations on the new little one. Just asking these questions and being aware tell me that you are going to do just fine. Parenting is the hardest job you'll ever love!! Trust me.

 

[SheWhoMustNotBeNamed]

Another thread on this in Up To The Minute: [ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=94343"]Police: Boy found hanged in Texas school bathroom - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community[/ame]