Two thoughts to share. Looong thoughts.
One--my boyfriend brought this story up tonight (which surprised me, he doesn't follow the news/crime stories the way I do). He saw the mom's actions the same way I did (and he said it first, so he wasn't just agreeing with me!). He saw someone trying to defuse the situation, as weird as that sounds. Paraphrasing-- "Just let me hit you once, and it'll be over with..." and then the dad still just losing his s**t--"Wait, I didn't get mine in!" and going off again. In my experience in working with families with both domestic violence and child abuse, this is a *super* common dynamic. One parent may try to inflict "minor" punishment ("I won't hit her that hard, but it'll satisfy him and make him stop and leave her alone") as a way to prevent major punishment. It looks, and sounds, terrible for those of us not in that position, but given everything that domestic violence victims go through, it makes sense. Leaving an abusive relationship can be hard, for so many reasons (emotional, financial, safety, power imbalance, etc.), and it's a process. I mean--can you imagine being married to a family/juvenile court judge who's abusive, and trying to leave? Imagine thinking about "how will I find an attorney who will believe me, and stand up to him? He doesn't just know the system, he is the system!" What if you move out to save yourself but lose all access to/custody of your kids? In that mindset, it makes perfect sense to stay and try to intervene and minimize the harm, instead of potentially leaving and losing all ability to protect your kids.
I always try to maintain an open mind, but with the info I have now--I believe what Hillary has to say about both her parents, and who was the real perpetrator of her abuse.
Two: a friend of mine on facebook said it best. This wasn't a case of "I'm going to give her x number of lashes." This was a person who was angry, and was going to beat this child not until he felt she had 'learned her lesson' (not that that would make it OK), but this was a person who was going to beat this child until he felt better, until he had used up his anger.
As much as anyone who doesn't have kids can understand...I can understand how even the best parents sometimes loose their cool. But I cannot believe that this was an isolated incident, for two reasons. One, as posted above--the dynamics of that tape make so much sense. Two...what kid manages to capture the *one* instance of a parent totally losing their cool in an isolated instance on videotape? Not gonna happen.
This judge is a tool, and needs to be removed from the bench, asap.
One--my boyfriend brought this story up tonight (which surprised me, he doesn't follow the news/crime stories the way I do). He saw the mom's actions the same way I did (and he said it first, so he wasn't just agreeing with me!). He saw someone trying to defuse the situation, as weird as that sounds. Paraphrasing-- "Just let me hit you once, and it'll be over with..." and then the dad still just losing his s**t--"Wait, I didn't get mine in!" and going off again. In my experience in working with families with both domestic violence and child abuse, this is a *super* common dynamic. One parent may try to inflict "minor" punishment ("I won't hit her that hard, but it'll satisfy him and make him stop and leave her alone") as a way to prevent major punishment. It looks, and sounds, terrible for those of us not in that position, but given everything that domestic violence victims go through, it makes sense. Leaving an abusive relationship can be hard, for so many reasons (emotional, financial, safety, power imbalance, etc.), and it's a process. I mean--can you imagine being married to a family/juvenile court judge who's abusive, and trying to leave? Imagine thinking about "how will I find an attorney who will believe me, and stand up to him? He doesn't just know the system, he is the system!" What if you move out to save yourself but lose all access to/custody of your kids? In that mindset, it makes perfect sense to stay and try to intervene and minimize the harm, instead of potentially leaving and losing all ability to protect your kids.
I always try to maintain an open mind, but with the info I have now--I believe what Hillary has to say about both her parents, and who was the real perpetrator of her abuse.
Two: a friend of mine on facebook said it best. This wasn't a case of "I'm going to give her x number of lashes." This was a person who was angry, and was going to beat this child not until he felt she had 'learned her lesson' (not that that would make it OK), but this was a person who was going to beat this child until he felt better, until he had used up his anger.
As much as anyone who doesn't have kids can understand...I can understand how even the best parents sometimes loose their cool. But I cannot believe that this was an isolated incident, for two reasons. One, as posted above--the dynamics of that tape make so much sense. Two...what kid manages to capture the *one* instance of a parent totally losing their cool in an isolated instance on videotape? Not gonna happen.
This judge is a tool, and needs to be removed from the bench, asap.
