Im just jumping to the end to add a few comments, my apologies if this is redundant:
1) Mathews, Peters, Lucas - these are all common Indian surnames. The comedian Russell Peters comes to mind. (They are founded in the small Indo-Christen communities). So the type of Indian in this case, is definitely from India. (When I went to law school in the US, I remember a lot of different demographic forms clumped most Asians together.. in Canada, they tend to use SouthEast Asian for the Indian subcontinent and surrounded areas (Sri Lanka, Indonesia, etc).
2) I am an educated East Indian Woman (Doctorate, Law Degree, CPA), my husband is a truck driver. Imagine those dynamics.. I was born and raised in Canada, my husband in Punjab, India. I do most of the housework - including cooking, cleaning and laundry. (My husband will help if its dire, but really when is there ever a laundry emergency??) However to this credit, he is great with our daughter. My point in this is, despite education and background - we follow a very traditional indian household.. which leads me to 2 thoughts: Either mom did it and dad is covering (Alpha Male, protection) or yes, mom is a cowed woman following her husbands order. (I have often said in times of turmoil and strife, that my husband is the product of a patriarchal society, and I am its victim. (Contrary, we did not have an arranged marriage, but it is very hard to change someones perceptions and attitudes, although we personally have come a long way, a lot of that is credited to the birth of our daughter).
3. Adoptions in India, of special needs children is rare.. Adoptions of special needs female is almost unheard of. So it pulls on my heart strings, that they adopted the most shunned of Indian society, only to let her down. Adopting in India is not a very complex function, usually adoptions are done with families, when relatives have passed or unable to conceive on their own. I would wager that they adopted after coming to the US - in which case they would have undergone rigid screen. And even then WOW can you ever really screen a person..
The last thing I want to say:
PLEASE MOM, TALK. JUST SAY SOMETHING.