VA - Anjelica "AJ" Hadsell, 18, Norfolk, 3 March 2015 #17

[katydid23]

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I am truly sorry you both have been through this. I stopped a situation from happening to me by a family friend's son a long time ago. I didn't say anything to anyone else, but I did protect my sisters from getting into the same position. We were young, he was not, and he was manipulative. The family friend (not the son) is a dear friend to me, and her son is just... I don't know. I try not to think about what he "tried" to do anymore, only because I was able to get myself away from the situation. However, when I was that young, had I been tangled up and had he moved further, I still feel as if it would be difficult for me to say something because his parents are so close to us, and completely not weird at all. My point is, young girls are so vulnerable, and sometimes, they are caught in situations that they don't know how to handle. AJ was not away for long, and I really hope this is not true, but if there was sexual abuse, she may have just recently began learning how to "tell" on someone. I know that I would be devastated to have let anything happen to my younger sisters. Just sayin' I really hope this is not true, but this is motive...JMO

I used to help run survivor support groups. The vast majority of child abuse survivors that I met never told anyone when they were kids. And it was NOT because they did not trust their loved ones. It was often because of their love for their caretakers.

In my case, for example--- my parents were divorcing and my mom moved her 3 young kids back home. It was the only way she could figure out how to deal with it all at first. I saw how stressed she was, going back to work for first time in many years, dealing with her grief over the divorce. I did not want to add to it by telling her that he little brother was doing 'weird' things to me.

Besides that, he was very loving and caring and attentive. So it was confusing. He did the things that I was needing right then--paying attention, being there for us, walking us home from school, helping with homework, taking us to the movies---and it was our special little secret. Also, there was shame involved. He had a way of convincing me that I was to blame for it anyway.

I couldnt ever tell my father because I KNEW he woul probably kill my uncle if he ever found out. Seriously. I could not imagine losing my father so I never ever told him. Ever.

 

[mpnola]

Due to other things happening on the 'net right now, I think we're all hyper-protective of Zach, not only as the person who raised AJ for a majority of her life, but as a member of Websleuths.

I get it, but the person asking questions and commenting is also a member. None of us know what the reality of any relationship in that household is. Zach freely admits that his relationship was strained with AJ. I think someone wanting to know how he knows information is a fair question. I read this thread every day- it feels like all day! It is the rare moment that I actually get within 5 pages of catching up. It is ridiculous to think that someone who asks a very simple questioned should be banished to reading 17 threads when I cant keep up on the current active thread. An answer or an ignore would be better than constantly belittling people and telling them to go re-read, like we have 3 pages of information here. It just feels like a control and bullying tactic for people who have differing opinions. Thats very much what it feels like, to me. I have seen the same thing for many threads. I have never seen it on any other thread I have ever been active on.

 

[katydid23]

I don't think anyone is bullying. I think they are just trying to protect a family member that is feeling pretty raw and vulnerable right now. :grouphug:

 

[JDauxa]

If I knew how to insert the raise my hand emoji I would here. After posting about my experience in the world of secrets, I also began to think along the same lines as what you posted just now. What if AJ (now in college, beginning her independent life) had started to realize how wrong the WH situation had been when she was living at home, started to used her voice more, and started to stick up for herself more. What if by this exposure, AJ started to take control over her life, which would mean that WH didn't have that power over her any longer and he knew it. It took me years to realize (let alone accept) how very wrong my own situation had been. Maybe I just don't want to believe that AJ had gone through all that, only to not make it out, and not get to experience the beautiful side of life she deserved. I really don't want this to be the case, and I think I am looking for any alternatives to explain away the possibility of sexual abuse. JMO

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I really appreciate your sharing your past with us, JDauxa. I know how hard it is.
I remember your earlier post, where you stated that they would not have brought attention to themselves.

My uncle was a narcissist , who began molesting me when I was about 5 or 6. He made a big deal about how very 'close' we were. I saw lots of polaroids of us together, smiling, laughing, and I think it was to defend himself, and make it look like we were just a very close niece and uncle.

Ironically, after her divorce, Mom didn't want to take a chance on having strangers take care of her 3 little kids, so she asked her younger brother to babysit us.

As an incest survivor, I have to say I am leaning towards WH being a rapist. Looking at that picture just throws so may red flags for me.

Hugs to you my fellow Raider fan, thank you for sharing with me as well

 

[Ibiz]

Reminds me of JM in Hannah Graham case. Whoever placed AJ's body there may have followed Hannah's case, and thought the vacant house reminded him of that vacant house near Charlottesville.

I haven't seen that case, but I'll look it up. Another thing I was thinking was maybe in prison other inmates may have mentioned to him about vacant houses as well.

 

[FindHG]

Reminds me of JM in Hannah Graham case. Whoever placed AJ's body there may have followed Hannah's case, and thought the vacant house reminded him of that vacant house near Charlottesville.

Yes. The same vibe here, 'with purpose.'

 

[kimi_SFC]

Goodnight, Guys.

Goodnight Mountain_Kat....
~.~


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[FindHG]

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I really appreciate your sharing your past with us, JDauxa. I know how hard it is.
I remember your earlier post, where you stated that they would not have brought attention to themselves.

My uncle was a narcissist , who began molesting me when I was about 5 or 6. He made a big deal about how very 'close' we were. I saw lots of polaroids of us together, smiling, laughing, and I think it was to defend himself, and make it look like we were just a very close niece and uncle.

Ironically, after her divorce, Mom didn't want to take a chance on having strangers take care of her 3 little kids, so she asked her younger brother to babysit us.

As an incest survivor, I have to say I am leaning towards WH being a rapist. Looking at that picture just throws so may red flags for me.

I'm sorry this happened to you and appreciate your sharing it here. Takes something to be able to share but it helps that you do. Thank you.

 

[JDauxa]

I used to help run survivor support groups. The vast majority of child abuse survivors that I met never told anyone when they were kids. And it was NOT because they did not trust their loved ones. It was often because of their love for their caretakers.

In my case, for example--- my parents were divorcing and my mom moved her 3 young kids back home. It was the only way she could figure out how to deal with it all at first. I saw how stressed she was, going back to work for first time in many years, dealing with her grief over the divorce. I did not want to add to it by telling her that he little brother was doing 'weird' things to me.

Besides that, he was very loving and caring and attentive. So it was confusing. He did the things that I was needing right then--paying attention, being there for us, walking us home from school, helping with homework, taking us to the movies---and it was our special little secret. Also, there was shame involved. He had a way of convincing me that I was to blame for it anyway.

I couldnt ever tell my father because I KNEW he woul probably kill my uncle if he ever found out. Seriously. I could not imagine losing my father so I never ever told him. Ever.

Everything you said here, I can related to 100%! And this is what makes me the most sad for AJ should this be the case. Taking on the heavy burden of carrying all the shame, all the hurt and all the blame, trying to protect and divert the pain away from your love ones.

 

[arkansasmimi]

marking spot...

 

[jbelle]

Hey all. Zach said she straightened up, but it wasn't a deep clean with bleach or anything crazy. She folded laundry etc.

It's in thread 6, post #258.

http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...orfolk-3-March-2015-6&p=11620402#post11620402

His children live in the house so I am sure he is told things from them. I think they were saying it looked like she sort of left quickly in the middle if I recall.

 

[spamelope]

I get it, but the person asking questions and commenting is also a member. None of us know what the reality of any relationship in that household is. Zach freely admits that his relationship was strained with AJ. I think someone wanting to know how he knows information is a fair question. I read this thread every day- it feels like all day! It is the rare moment that I actually get within 5 pages of catching up. It is ridiculous to think that someone who asks a very simple questioned should be banished to reading 17 threads when I cant keep up on the current active thread. An answer or an ignore would be better than constantly belittling people and telling them to go re-read, like we have 3 pages of information here. It just feels like a control and bullying tactic for people who have differing opinions. Thats very much what it feels like, to me. I have seen the same thing for many threads. I have never seen it on any other thread I have ever been active on.

I'm very sorry you feel bullied. I don't think anyone here would want you to feel that way. I personally get derailed when someone wants a link or something. I'm not one of those organized people who has everything bookmarked and in nice, neat folders. I'd be one of those disorganized serial killers-I have the attention span of a fruit fly. I will go looking for a link, and then see another really interesting story on WAVY, read that and 6 others. Before I know it, a half hour has passed and 23 other people have already provided the link. I think the folks here have been great when I've asked for help. And I don't think it's because of my opinion, because that changes about 5 times a day.

 

[StarrChance]

Agree. But I think that Wes has been using his sister since high school. She mentions that she always stuck behind him every time that he got in trouble. And she makes it sound like this has been happening for a while.

So imo. Wes treats his sister as if she is some gullible female who will never betray him. Jmo.

So i think that she told because she finally figured it out.


So now it seems like Wes is prone to hurt every woman in his life without regards to any outcome.

Name 1 woman that escaped being caused pain by Wes via 1rst or 2nd hand.

So Imo; Wes has a hate towards all woman. Jmo.

The last jailhouse interview WH said "women scared him to death" so quite possibly mother/ women issues, a psychiatrist or psychologist would be an asset on this line of thinking.

 

[bessie]

His teenage daughter told him. She was the first one home and would know exactly what the house looked like.

Hey all. Zach said she straightened up, but it wasn't a deep clean with bleach or anything crazy. She folded laundry etc.

It's in thread 6, post #258.

http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...orfolk-3-March-2015-6&p=11620402#post11620402

His children live in the house so I am sure he is told things from them. I think they were saying it looked like she sort of left quickly in the middle if I recall.

See how easy that was. I know it took a bit of digging for jbelle to find the post back in Thread #6, but that's called courtesy and teamwork. Thanks, guys. :thumb:

 

[spamelope]

Yay, jbell! Please tell me, how in the heck did you find that? Isn't that 11,000 posts ago?

 

[serenitynow123]

Hey all. Zach said she straightened up, but it wasn't a deep clean with bleach or anything crazy. She folded laundry etc.

It's in thread 6, post #258.

http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...orfolk-3-March-2015-6&p=11620402#post11620402

His children live in the house so I am sure he is told things from them. I think they were saying it looked like she sort of left quickly in the middle if I recall.

Thank you for this link. A few comments down on the same page is a link to pdf and PR statements about WH kidnapping and rape of his estranged wife MH, as well as his criminal history which includes luring a minor to run away with him.
I'm struck by the similarity between MH and AJ. Both 5'2 120lbs with long brown hair.
:frown:

 

[katydid23]

Thank you for this link. A few comments down on the same page is a link to pdf and PR statements about WH kidnapping and rape of his estranged wife MH, as well as his criminal history which includes luring a minor to run away with him.
I'm struck by the similarity between MH and AJ. Both 5'2 120lbs with long brown hair.
:frown:

YESSSS. I have thought the same thing about the physical similarities between them/

Also, there is a major similarity in circumstances. In the kidnapping incident, his wife was leaving him because of alleged domestic violence incidents,and on the morning of the Grand Jury indictments,--allegedly he strangled, punched and raped his ex--- he nabbed her from her brothers home and ran across state lines-- [just like in his earlier incident with the 15 yr old when he was 19]

So a pattern seems to emerge, with his outbursts and extreme reactions when his partner tries to leave him. Could JH asking him to move out have triggered this whole thing?

 

[FleurQualia]

Due to other things happening on the 'net right now, I think we're all hyper-protective of Zach, not only as the person who raised AJ for a majority of her life, but as a member of Websleuths.

I agree with the above. Zach has endured quite a bit of attacks coming from certain parties. Ido not think anyone I an absolute saint (I am not) but this is suppose to be a safe place for certain people. So we can definitely be overprotective at times.

 

[FleurQualia]

YESSSS. I have thought the same thing about the physical similarities between them/

Also, there is a major similarity in circumstances. In the kidnapping incident, his wife was leaving him because of alleged domestic violence incidents,and on the morning of the Grand Jury indictments,--allegedly he strangled, punched and raped his ex--- he nabbed her from her brothers home and ran across state lines-- [just like in his earlier incident with the 15 yr old when he was 19]

So a pattern seems to emerge, with his outbursts and extreme reactions when his partner tries to leave him. Could JH asking him to move out have triggered this whole thing?

It definitely fits his MO. He should have been locked up for a long time. Nobody deserved to have him around them. Nobody.

 

[StarrChance]

"It's tough being a middle aged narcissistic"

This article is WH to a T

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=118736