Deceased/Not Found VA - Bethany Decker, 21, Ashburn, 29 Jan 2011 *Guilty*

Welcome to Websleuths!
Click to learn how to make a missing person's thread

DNA Solves
DNA Solves
DNA Solves

New Posts

Found what appears to be a local chatboard; interesting comment on a possible rap sheet for boyfriend (posted by "Josh Turner Wingspan" a little over halfway down, posted 3/7 11:06pm):

http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/read.php?2,519264,523673,quote=1

Not much info, but does mention a history of "drunken outbursts."

(Hope it's OK to post this now that the BF's name has been released; I can never keep track of what/who we're allowed to discuss)

ETA: If the boyfriend is really controlling when it comes to relationships, it seems odd to me that he'd take up with a married woman. Hard to have someone "all to yourself" when she has legal ties to another man. I don't know--maybe it's a bigger control "high" to feel like you're taking her away from another man, like that makes you the "winner" somehow. The mix of "controlling" and "married to another man" just seems odd to me, and makes me wonder if he knew she was married all along, or just found out recently when plans for the Hawaii trip were being made.

Also, I know there has been a lot of conflicting information given out about her relationship with her family, etc., but it just doesn't sound to me like she spent all that much time with her son. (If nothing else, between school, and work, and a demanding live-in boyfriend, when would she have had time to commute for regular visits?) I wonder if either the boyfriend didn't like her seeing her child by another man, or if maybe she felt like she was protecting her son by keeping some distance. Just speculation, of course, not a judgment on her parenting and/or love for her child.
 
Glad we finally have the BF's name.

Keep in mind that the last name Roldan is usually Hispanic and is pronounced with the accent on the "a", not on the first syllalble of the name as NG kept saying it last night.

The name should probably be spelled Roldán in reality.

I'm not saying it's not strange to name your kid with a name that is spelled practically the same as his first name, but I just wanted to explain that if you pronounce his last name correctly, then it doesn't sound like as much of a tongue twister.
 
If I understand correctly, she had a boyfriend her family didn't know about because they thought all was well in her marriage? Was she leading sort of a double life maybe?

I have known woman who lose interest in their children because their new mates don't want them around. I know very sad!
 
Hispanics often go by their mothers last name and have their fathers surname as their middle(or something along these lines) so his actual last name he uses may be his middle name if that makes sence.

My brother in law's last name he uses is actualy his middle name on all ID's but when he signs anything he always uses what is legaly here his middle.

Example. steve adam price .. he would use steve adam as his last name and not use price at all . FWIW
 
Mouse said:
Found what appears to be a local chatboard; interesting comment on a possible rap sheet for boyfriend (posted by "Josh Turner Wingspan" a little over halfway down, posted 3/7 11:06pm):

http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/read.php?2,519264,523673,quote=1

Not much info, but does mention a history of "drunken outbursts."

(Hope it's OK to post this now that the BF's name has been released; I can never keep track of what/who we're allowed to discuss)

ETA: If the boyfriend is really controlling when it comes to relationships, it seems odd to me that he'd take up with a married woman. Hard to have someone "all to yourself" when she has legal ties to another man. I don't know--maybe it's a bigger control "high" to feel like you're taking her away from another man, like that makes you the "winner" somehow. The mix of "controlling" and "married to another man" just seems odd to me, and makes me wonder if he knew she was married all along, or just found out recently when plans for the Hawaii trip were being made.

Also, I know there has been a lot of conflicting information given out about her relationship with her family, etc., but it just doesn't sound to me like she spent all that much time with her son. (If nothing else, between school, and work, and a demanding live-in boyfriend, when would she have had time to commute for regular visits?) I wonder if either the boyfriend didn't like her seeing her child by another man, or if maybe she felt like she was protecting her son by keeping some distance. Just speculation, of course, not a judgment on her parenting and/or love for her child.
Click to expand...

It's also possible that Bethany and her husband were already estranged when she met RR. She may have communicated to him that their marriage was over, they were no longer together, just trying to get the $$ together (or waiting for him to get back from overseas) before actualy filing for divorce. I've known people who remained legally married for several years, only filing for divorce when one or the other wanted to get remarried.

The shock of learning that perhaps the marriage isn't over after all could have been the motivation behind Bethany's disappearance. MOO.
 
liltexans said:
Glad we finally have the BF's name.

Keep in mind that the last name Roldan is usually Hispanic and is pronounced with the accent on the "a", not on the first syllalble of the name as NG kept saying it last night.

The name should probably be spelled Roldán in reality.

I'm not saying it's not strange to name your kid with a name that is spelled practically the same as his first name, but I just wanted to explain that if you pronounce his last name correctly, then it doesn't sound like as much of a tongue twister.
Click to expand...

Not to get into racial/ethnic discussion--it's kind of a non-issue--- but I've personally known someone with the last name "Roldan" and she was Filipina. Understanding that the Philippines have a strong Spanish influence,which I assume is how this name got transplanted there, the BF could be Mexican or Spanish as well. It doesn't really matter...I just wanted to mention this possibility.
 
MorenoI said:
If I understand correctly, she had a boyfriend her family didn't know about because they thought all was well in her marriage? Was she leading sort of a double life maybe?

I have known woman who lose interest in their children because their new mates don't want them around. I know very sad!
Click to expand...

I got the impression that her family was aware of the boyfriend. I can't back this up with facts--was it part of the discussion on NG? Tell me if I am incorrect here...

It is sad that she wasn't caring for her child, but with such a volatile boyfriend (and unstable lifestyle) it seems like the child was better off being with his grandparents!
 
Last week, Bethany Decker's family said the woman and her husband accompanied the family on a trip to Hawaii and there was no sign of marital problems

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/l...sing-Pregnant-Womans-Boyfriend-117534789.html


How can there be no signs of marital problems, when she has a boyfriend?
Either the family didn't know about the BF, or they are in denial.

Either way I think it's odd to say "there were no signs of marital problems" now that the family KNOWS there was/is a BF.

I think the family had to have known about the BF.
 
Again, on the road so will read posts in full, but THANK YOU, Nancy Grace for keeping this case alive , even though it's not so "kosher" - no one is! Thank you.
 
NG says that neither man has an alibi...how can they, do we have any idea when she actually went missing? We know when she was supposedly last seen.
If the boyfriend was the last to see her, and they parted at some point, according to him, when would he need an alibi (for what period)? Am confused...
 
I personally think RR would have been the one on her FB, not ED. It's unlikely to me that someone deployed to Iraq would have a lot of time to spend on the Internet.
 
Can't facebook tell them where the account was accessed from? I'm so confused.
 
I hope police are searching along route 28 - that's the major road here that leads straight from Ashburn to Centreville...
 
I am sure LE knows or will know soon who if anyone was using her FB. And that is going to be a huge piece of evidence.
 
sonicfanaticsmommy said:
I personally think RR would have been the one on her FB, not ED. It's unlikely to me that someone deployed to Iraq would have a lot of time to spend on the Internet.
Click to expand...

Truthfully, some men stationed in IRAQ have tons of time to kill on the internet, while eating their subway sandwiches and drinking Sobe.
It depends on where they are deployed . Some are allowed 30 min a day... some not for days at a time. But I was surprised at how often my daughter was able to "chat"
with her hubby and his friends overseas. Some have LOTS OF FREE TIME!

MOO :cow:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

DNASolves

Who is DeKalb County John Doe (2022)?

Members online

... and 83 more.
Total: 1,992 (members: 84, guests: 1,908)

Online statistics

Members online
84
Guests online
1,908
Total visitors
1,992
Totals may include hidden visitors.

Forum statistics

Threads
605,411
Messages
18,186,629
Members
233,355
Latest member
frankiterranova
Back
Top