I know you didn't mean this to come across as victim-blaming, but I've seen this line of argument all over social media about Monique, and I don't see how it isn't (accidental, in your post...but intentional in many others) victim-blaming.
In my opinion at least, it's pretty obvious what happened. Monique met a guy in college who seemed charming and on a good track. She fell in love and married him, only for him to do what so many narcissistic personalities do as soon as they have their victims firmly within their grasps: move her away from her friends and family and turn controlling and violent once he has her isolated.
Once Monique finally escaped, she just so happened to meet an actual nice guy on a dating app. Why anyone would make the gigantic leap that she would filter based on "doctor" on dating apps is absolutely lost on me. That thought literally never even entered my mind, and I have a hard time seeing how it isn't rooted in some subconscious attempt to try and make Monique somehow responsible for what happened to her and Spencer. So she married a med school student and a dentist -- who cares? The accusations that she was somehow a clout/paycheck chaser or whatever are so, so weird to me.
My college roommate had an extremely similar situation to Monique, but luckily she was successful in getting away. She dated a guy (pre-med, ironically) in college who seemed nice and charming to everyone, but eventually showed his dark side to her. He let his mask slip once or twice in front of me, and I'm not lying when I say I'm still scared of him, all these years later. He isolated her and became abusive on a very similar timeline to MM and Monique. My roommate was one of the lucky ones who got away. But too many women end up like Monique instead.
Can we retire the "she married two doctors?!?!?!!?!?!??!???!" discussion and instead focus on how she did everything she could to get away from an abusive relationship, but, like so many women, sadly couldn't escape a man who set his sights on getting his revenge?
This is one of the most heartbreaking cases I've heard of, and I hate that Monique is somehow being portrayed in a negative light, no matter how well-intentioned. JMO