AZ - Ryan Gallagher, 17 mos, dies in hot car, Phoenix, 30 Oct 2007

[southcitymom]

Many women will refuse to give up custody of kids just for selfish reasons. If she could not have handled the child, she should have worked out a more liberal visitation schedule with the Dad so that he can have the child a couple days a week and give her a break. Maricopa County actually offers mediation for low cost, Dad should have just gone to court and filed for a mediation session and asked for more custody.

Sorry but I do not see how you forget a child in a car and FORGET about him for 7 hours. Did she not think of her child at all that day? If she did she would have remembered that she forgot to drop him off at daycare.

I wonder what stupid, petty, insignificant thoughts were passing through her little brain that day so that she did not think of her son at all.

Recently, I flaked and forgot to pick my 1st grader up after school (I share carpool and forgot it was my day). No big deal - the school called me and I went and got him.

Now, I thought about him several times during the period when he wasn't home yet and I was supposed to be picking him up - but thinking about him didn't change the fact that I had forgotten it was my day to pick up for carpool. I was just sitting at home waiting for the other mother to drop him off.

What can I say - I'm human. But for the grace of god, I don't have to bury my son because of my forgetfulness.

 

[CarpeDiem]

Recently, I flaked and forgot to pick my 1st grader up after school (I share carpool and forgot it was my day). No big deal - the school called me and I went and got him.

Now, I thought about him several times during the period when he wasn't home yet and I was supposed to be picking him up - but thinking about him didn't change the fact that I had forgotten it was my day to pick up for carpool. I was just sitting at home waiting for the other mother to drop him off.

What can I say - I'm human. But for the grace of god, I don't have to bury my son because of my forgetfulness.

If you have a forgetful moment, atleast your child was in a safe place. What did the other Mother have to say, because her kid had to be stuck at school too? I can't imagine she was thrilled with that phone call. Ugh.

We all need to get some post-its. Start using them again. Write yourself notes in the car, at home, where you will see them, anytime the schedule is a little different.

 

[eve]

Recently, I flaked and forgot to pick my 1st grader up after school (I share carpool and forgot it was my day). No big deal - the school called me and I went and got him.

Now, I thought about him several times during the period when he wasn't home yet and I was supposed to be picking him up - but thinking about him didn't change the fact that I had forgotten it was my day to pick up for carpool. I was just sitting at home waiting for the other mother to drop him off.

What can I say - I'm human. But for the grace of god, I don't have to bury my son because of my forgetfulness.

Hi South!

I have told this before but when I had a 3 year old and a two-month old I buckled in the 3 year old, got in the car and drove off while my 2 month old sat in her car seat on my front sidewalk. We were going to her 2-month check-up. I got about 2 blocks when I realized what I had done! I was horrified. Went back, scooped her up, she was snoozing peacefully. What if someone had abducted her in that two minute window?

I have definitely forgotten things I couldn't believe I forgot. There's an overload I have experienced at times in my life that makes me feel for these people somehow. I do think it would dawn on me fairly quickly if I forgot a child in a car, but as in my example above something terrible can happen in just a few minutes. Most of us just get lucky.

One time my kindergartener didn't get off the bus and I called the bus garage and they found him sleeping in the back of the dark, locked bus garage!


Eve

 

[SeriouslySearching]

I couldn't agree more. What about the principal awhile back that left her two year old in the car all day. Her priority that day was getting donuts to her co-workers instead of her child. I'm trying to remember all the details about it, but I do remember she wasn't charged. :furious:

And we cannot forget about the Pediatrician!!!

 

[southcitymom]

If you have a forgetful moment, atleast your child was in a safe place. What did the other Mother have to say, because her kid had to be stuck at school too? I can't imagine she was thrilled with that phone call. Ugh.

We all need to get some post-its. Start using them again. Write yourself notes in the car, at home, where you will see them, anytime the schedule is a little different.

It was actually the other mother's nanny (that's who I share carpool with) who got the call that her child was in the office - they had sent mine to ASP. The nanny called me and I said "You're right - it's my day" and I went to the school and got both the kids.

When I got to the school, the principal said "I did the exact same thing a couple of times - don't sweat it!" and when the other little boy's Mom found out, she and I laughed about it - she said "I'm glad you're the one who messed up first!" We're raising 5 young boys between the two of us, and we are both very laid back.

Quite frankly, I wouldn't share carpool with a mommy who would freak out about something like that.

 

[southcitymom]

And we cannot forget about the Pediatrician!!!

God that one was heartbreaking.....they all are, of course.

 

[philamena]

I think SS was talking about the case in the link she posted!

opps....sorry about that. :blushing:

 

[CyberLaw]

O.K., I must admit I forgot the dog tied up outside of the pharmacy out of site. I was walking with several bags, and then thought oh yeah, I forgot the dog.

But for a parent "to forget" their child in a car, I just can't fathom how this happens. "Forgetting to pick up a child at school, or a play date, or what ever I can understand, but a "vulnerable" passenger who depends on you for safety, how can you forget a child.

 

[LCoastMom]

My mother once followed a woman home from the grocery store after she placed her child (in a babyseat) on the roof of the car. The woman loaded the car, returned the basket, got in and drove off. My mom honked and flashed her lights the whole way to the woman's house (about a ten minute drive with speed limit up to 45 mph). I can't imagine what the woman thought my mom wanted, but she evidently realized what she had done as she was getting out of the car. She collapsed in her driveway and my mom helped her and baby into the house. She was crying and shaking for some time. And her baby was fine.

I just can't comprehend these women who give birth and then thoughtlessly take the life, without ever showing on ounce of emotion.

 

[Belinda]

Ashly Duchene was initially charged in the death of her son, however the charges were eventually dropped after 2 grand juries failed to indict her.

My personal opinion on these types of cases is that the yardstick of measure should be whether or not the child shows signs of prior physical abuse. If they do, charge them. If they don't, it was more than likely a tragic accident. I don't believe anyone goes from zero prior abuse straight to murder when it comes to children.

 

[kbl8201]

if the child wasnt 'a priority' then i have zero sympathy for her, i dont care if she was homeless or a billionare. give the baby up for adoption if you dont want it.

 

[kbl8201]

i totally disagree with no bill of indictment.......its giving her a free pass for not even caring what happened to her kid

 

[southernbrunette]

I think it's an accident. Whatever she said, however much she may have had mixed feelings about being a mother - her car was parked where people were walking by it - police theorize the tinted windows made the child hard to see - but if she wanted him dead, she would have parked someplace more isolated.


Definite "class" tones to this report though - they have to specify she was a waitress at "Hooters" - which has a tone of - "one step up from a pole-dancer or prostitute".

OT

Yeah that's exactly what I thought when I read this.

I have been a Hooter's waitress since I was 21 (didn't stop working there until I was about 3 months pregnant with my 2nd one) and no it isn't the greatest of jobs..I am not particularly fond with the majority of the clientele, especially the "regulars"..but it's a great flexible schedule, an EASY job, I made great money and I can still go to school and be a mommy. Plus, I've made a lot of friends..the girls are like sisters to me, and it's a really fun job where Hooter's of America treats us all with dignity and respect. I'd never strip, in fact I've never been in a strip club, and I really hate when people liken me wearing a tank top and shorts to stripping..I live in Florida, when am I NOT wearing a tank top and shorts? I've worked at other restaurants and usually had to work harder without making as much money, so of course I enjoy my job. Not sure if I'll go back after I have my 2nd baby in 2 months, but I do always have that option..as well as tuition reimbursement! I've made great friends at Hoots - sometimes it feels like Girl Scouts all over again!

I am in no way defending her, I honestly can't wrap my mind around this being an "accident" because my child is on my mind at all times and I can't imagine ever leaving her in the car..I mean, my God..if my daughter is in the backseat of my car and I have to go to work, I can't imagine what circumstances would make me "forget" to first go to her babysitter's and instead drive straight to work and leave her there..I mean, I'm not saying it DOESN'T happen, I just personally find it hard to believe because I can't ever imagine that happening to me. I just didn't like the way the article specifically pointed out that she's a Hooter's waitress as opposed to any other waitress..I work with a LOT of moms, ranging from the youngest at 19 years of age to this one lady I worked with who's 36 and doesn't look a day over 24..with 3 kids of her own. And as far as I know, none of the moms I work with are incapable or negligent mothers. Everyone has their different story. There are days when we hate our job like anybody else - but for the most part I can say it's one of the best jobs I've ever had. The only times I start to hate it is when you get those certain "regulars" who come in all the time and kind of set off your creep-o-meter..had to have one guy banned from my restaurant once for constantly coming in and bringing me gifts, trying to walk me out to my car, and trying to stay until closing time to "ensure my safety"..very weird, and being a mom - I take no chances with guys who set off the "hinky meter" like that. (That guy, after being banned, somehow found me and my family on Facebook and sent me a ton of messages saying that he thought we were "true friends" and he couldn't believe I'd do something like that to him, but he'd always be there for me no matter what..isn't that weird? I didn't even know his name - he was just another customer at my bar. Those guys who try and develop too personal of a relationship are the only downfalls to the job, but you can find them in more places than just Hoots)