need some forensic direction please

[newperson22]

lets just say I come from a dysfunctional family...one of my siblings is a Narcissist, had a motive to speed up the demise of a parent 20 years ago.

after a holiday meal at the siblings house, this parent who had dementia, their health went into a spiral decline and 3 months later they passed. after the meal, the next morning they could no longer walk, had movement issues and was hospitalized for three days for "dementia". They could not cognitively explain how they felt symptom wise either due to dementia.

3 months later this parent passed. During these 3 months the sibling was distant and cold.

i have always suspected some form of poison was the catalyst for this decline.

The other spouse (now in their 90's) has cut off all communications with this sibling. All I know is it has something to do with some behavior from this sibling towards the deceased parent.

If someone was poisoned this long ago is there a way for it to still be in there system?

This parent was buried.

thanks,

 

[Filly]

lets just say I come from a dysfunctional family...one of my siblings is a Narcissist, had a motive to speed up the demise of a parent 20 years ago.

after a holiday meal at the siblings house, this parent who had dementia, their health went into a spiral decline and 3 months later they passed. after the meal, the next morning they could no longer walk, had movement issues and was hospitalized for three days for "dementia". They could not cognitively explain how they felt symptom wise either due to dementia.

3 months later this parent passed. During these 3 months the sibling was distant and cold.

i have always suspected some form of poison was the catalyst for this decline.

The other spouse (now in their 90's) has cut off all communications with this sibling. All I know is it has something to do with some behavior from this sibling towards the deceased parent.

If someone was poisoned this long ago is there a way for it to still be in there system?

This parent was buried.

thanks,

Welcome @newperson22 . I am so sorry for what you are going through. Sincerely.

OK I'm not the brightest bulb, but this is definitely not the forum you need.

People at WS are the best and will try and guide you. Presently I can't think of the best forum for your plight.

Don't leave. We care. Maybe post in as many forums as possible?

Not much help, but if you got a hunch trust yourself.

 

[SBops]

Have you given any thought to why your sibling would do this to one parent, but the other parent is still alive?

 

[helpfulcharlie]

lets just say I come from a dysfunctional family...one of my siblings is a Narcissist, had a motive to speed up the demise of a parent 20 years ago.

after a holiday meal at the siblings house, this parent who had dementia, their health went into a spiral decline and 3 months later they passed. after the meal, the next morning they could no longer walk, had movement issues and was hospitalized for three days for "dementia". They could not cognitively explain how they felt symptom wise either due to dementia.

3 months later this parent passed. During these 3 months the sibling was distant and cold.

i have always suspected some form of poison was the catalyst for this decline.

The other spouse (now in their 90's) has cut off all communications with this sibling. All I know is it has something to do with some behavior from this sibling towards the deceased parent.

If someone was poisoned this long ago is there a way for it to still be in there system?

This parent was buried.

thanks,

Only you know the reliability of your instincts. If you believe that the means, motive and opportunity existed, and you think it's worth looking into, your mind isn't going to let you rest until you do. Do you have the resources to hire a private investigator? They might be better suited to determine what options are available to you. 20 years is a long time, though. Your public options may be limited, and they might have ideas on what is possible and what is not.

I will agree with the previous replier though, that this probably isn't the best forum/thread for this question. If you report your own post to the mods, they might be able to find the best place and move it. I'm sure we'd all be interested in your progress.

 

[newperson22]

I have been hanging on to this for 20years.

My sibling's motive was $

She wanted my mother to go away and for my dad not to have to spend money on a nursing home so it would be available for her to drain.

She has successfully siphoned off (she would say my Dad was too generous) over 2.5 million dollars from Dad.

It was his daughter, he could not say no, it was almost an incestuous relationship, odepius complex, but no sex, he came from a broken home and was raised in foster homes, worked his tail off and was successful.
He has emotional problems. My family was emotionally abusive with my mother and I bearing the brunt of my Dad/daughters abuse. My mon was belittled and had multiple nervous breakdowns. She and I talked and she encouraged me to flee these dynamics. I left and was almost no contact for many years.

I remerged 2 years ago having kept mine and my wife's thoughts between us.

Having reemerged and finding out my Dad had cut off contact with his daughter, his new g/f told me it was the strangest thing. Dad has been invited to her house on numerous occasions for dinner and he refused to go. She told me he is afraid of being poisoned.

Now dad is in his late 90's and I am taking care of him.

For my own sanity I need to eliminate my sister, and to give my mother the respect and follow through she deserves.

I don't was a big public display, I just want peace of mind.

 

[Laughing]

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

Arsenic in the sugar bowl, here.

Tough situation, no additional advice. Best to you & your Dad!

 

[MistyWaters]

Just my thoughts - if it were me I’d talk to a therapist to clearly think things through, to see my way forward.

You mention you grew up in dysfunctional, abusive household, and broke away for 20 years. But now you say you’re caring for the person who was responsible for your abuse who’s spatting with his daughter, the other abuser, if I have that right. Be careful you’ve not unknowingly gotten drawn in to the remnants of that same family dysfunction including the damage vindictiveness causes, albeit your current situation may be somewhat rearranged.

Best Wishes to you!

Just to note, as I read your post I thought it was interesting that you only suspect your sister might’ve poisoned your mother during her late-stage dementia to eliminate the cost of nursing home care that would’ve been incurred by your father. If she was poisoned there are alternate possibilities, one an accidental or deliberate overdose by her using her prescribed medications.

 

[SBops]

Just my thoughts - if it were me I’d talk to a therapist to clearly think things through, to see my way forward.

You mention you grew up in dysfunctional, abusive household, and broke away for 20 years. But now you say you’re caring for the person who was responsible for your abuse who’s spatting with his daughter, the other abuser, if I have that right. Be careful you’ve not unknowingly gotten drawn in to the remnants of that same family dysfunction including the damage vindictiveness causes, albeit your current situation may be somewhat rearranged.

Best Wishes to you!

Just to note, as I read your post I thought it was interesting that you only suspect your sister might’ve poisoned your mother during her late-stage dementia to eliminate the cost of nursing home care that would’ve been incurred by your father. If she was poisoned there are alternate possibilities, one an accidental or deliberate overdose by her using her prescribed medications.

Or the one whose money would have incurred the expense for her care.

 

[MistyWaters]

Or the one whose money would have incurred the expense for her care.

Yeah, you said exactly what I was thinking.

 

[MajorHoople]

lets just say I come from a dysfunctional family...one of my siblings is a Narcissist, had a motive to speed up the demise of a parent 20 years ago.

after a holiday meal at the siblings house, this parent who had dementia, their health went into a spiral decline and 3 months later they passed. after the meal, the next morning they could no longer walk, had movement issues and was hospitalized for three days for "dementia". They could not cognitively explain how they felt symptom wise either due to dementia.

3 months later this parent passed. During these 3 months the sibling was distant and cold.

i have always suspected some form of poison was the catalyst for this decline.

The other spouse (now in their 90's) has cut off all communications with this sibling. All I know is it has something to do with some behavior from this sibling towards the deceased parent.

If someone was poisoned this long ago is there a way for it to still be in there system?

This parent was buried.

thanks,

Question: If someone was poisoned this long ago is there a way for it to still be in there system?

I think depending on the type of poison the answer is "yes" if the person was not cremated. If the person was embalmed and buried a heavy metal like arsenic should still be in the hair. Hair clippings would give a timeline of when the poisoning occurred.

 

[MistyWaters]

Question: If someone was poisoned this long ago is there a way for it to still be in there system?

I think depending on the type of poison the answer is "yes" if the person was not cremated. If the person was embalmed and buried a heavy metal like arsenic should still be in the hair. Hair clippings would give a timeline of when the poisoning occurred.

If someone questions how someone died I believe they’d have to apply to the Court for a permit, then pay for the body of the deceased to be exhumed, hire a pathologist to perform a 2nd autopsy and as a result the process is fairly costly.

If the mother’s health was going downhill for 3 months she surely must’ve been under a doctor’s care. I’d assume blood tests and other examinations would be routine so the medical file would be an obvious starting point including what specifically caused the woman’s death as determined by a medical professional. The natural progression of dimension is heartbreaking and painful for loved ones. In the later stages it can affect the ability to talk, chew or swallow, no poison necessary.
Dementia patients are also high risk to pneumonia, why possibly the medical file offers additional information.
JMO

 

[Strawberry Shortcake]

Why wasn't an autopsy done on the body at the time of death to determine what was in the system? I saw an episode of Unsolved Mysteries where the wife crushed some type of chemical used to clean the algae in fish tanks in a capsule and poisoned her husband. Traces of the chemical were found in the body and she was arrested.