Exactly. Or - if the parents became ready to fully engage and throw their all into both parenting and sorting out their own issues - a mother and baby placement followed by support in the community.
If it’s true that MG said he didn’t understand why ‘the baby’ was ‘the bigger deal’, then some possible contributing factors are brutally clear as to why they lost children. Even knowing she was dead, they knew no one else did. Whatever the reason for those comments, if they happened, they show an empathy deficit and a lack of any fear for what might happen next. Yes, it’s a snapshot at a high stress moment, yes, he potentially previously he’s experienced poor treatment by police and therefore has less respect for them and yes, he knew Victoria was dead - but imo it’s not a normal response even with those factors.
All just my opinion, but I didn’t believe MG was being led by CM, just looking at the facts. Not that (if guilty) it wouldn’t be a mixture of both their actions but, here we have a (according to family and friends) traumatised young woman who was previously brainwashed by a cult who meets a man who was previously imprisoned for violent offences and rape, she proceeds to cut off family and friends and has multiple children removed one after the other (an earlier baby while they are in a tent), refuses a mother and baby unit and goes from being involved in education to having no job and having to leave properties (potentially repeatedly, suggested by multiple living in tent and other accommodation). JMOO but all those factors point to a man who’s a dangerous and strong influence and a woman who was susceptible to control (having been involved with a cult), whether she then believed the narrative and became a perpetrator of that narrative or not.
I also don’t see any indications in any of the information so far that any baby would have been safe in their care had there not been a nationwide search.
Honestly, she has the more sympathetic life story. She's the poor little rich girl who grew up in splendid yet broken circumstances. Who fell into a abusive cult and then was trying to pull her life together when she had the misfortune of meeting an evil man.
It's easy to imagine this as a controlling and coercive relationship with a dangerous older man who was rotten from the start. After all he committed shockingly violent crimes when barely a teen and then grew up and was socialised in a violent prison system.
Honestly though... What's the evidence? There's been no mention of domestic abuse, or coercive control in their history. She's shown no hint of being afraid of him, or led by him. Hell, by her body language and witness statements she seemed to be leading and making decisions half the time.
She had the resources and connections (in multiple countries) to get away. She stayed even when her kids were taken. What's more, she made every attempt to obscure the record of even her first baby with him. Now this happens in high control relationships don't get me wrong, but usually there are still signs someone is under duress. What signs are there here?
I think they were fully committed to eachother in some F-ed up, trauma bonded, two person cult kind of way.
She was this princess he couldn't believe would stoop to him. He was this tragic yet interestingly rough child victim of the racist American justice system. The more concerned her family, her friends social services were. The more it reinforced their 'the world doesn't understand,' persecution narrative of their tragic love story. Particularly if much of social services concern was (or perceived to be) around his childhood offences.
So they got progressively more insular and isolated the more their 'family life' was interfered with. As restrictions and monitoring was ordered. When family and friends made SS concern reports or called the police. As one by one (or all at once,) their kids were removed.
He probably had a natural distaste for governmental authorities still controlling his life. She likely had her own cult trauma about being forced to follow such rules as well. Also a good dash of entitlement from never being in the kind of social group who were subject to such treatment from government services.
I think both of them were all in on this this plan/fantasy to finally have a family that was free of all this prejudicial government and classist family interference. Totally disregarding that both had been repeatedly shown to be unfit parents.
When it went tiits up and the police and whole country was out looking for them and then his crimes and her past were broadcast to on the front page. It super turbocharged all of their previous persecution narratives.
No matter how softy softy the police were in their messaging and statements, there was no hiding their past or having this quiet normal family now. This would be the thing everyone knew about them and the internet is forever.
Unfortunately as it turns out, the only thing they proved was that the authorities had been entirely correct to remove all their kids.
Might be wrong. Maybe she is his victim, but it would be the obvious card for her to play in this and it's not been part of her defense. Maybe that's his control or maybe she has enough integrity not to lie about it idk. However personally I have no intention of giving her an ounce less accountability than he gets until there's evidence she deserves it. So far there ain't.
In my opinion. Obviously.
www.bbc.co.uk
