TX TX - Caleb Harris, 21, Texas A&M University student, Corpus Christi, 4 Mar 2024 #2

[TLobo]

To be fair, it would be awfully nice if the Life360 app was currently able to track where CH is. This seems like the exact scenario in which a parent would want to be able to know where their (any-aged) child is, right?

 

[iamshadow21]

There is no way I would know how many pairs of shoes my college student owned, or if any were missing.

Yeah, but with only $20 a week, there's no way he could have afforded to buy new shoes. Presumably he'd have to call up and ask for the money if he needed them. So if he really had no other revenue stream, they'd likely know that the shoes he had were the shoes he had when he left home.

MOO

 

[LauraAnne]

Yeah, but with only $20 a week, there's no way he could have afforded to buy new shoes. Presumably he'd have to call up and ask for the money if he needed them. So if he really had no other revenue stream, they'd likely know that the shoes he had were the shoes he had when he left home.

MOO

I'm not sure where the $20 a week came from, but anyone who has the ability to call UberEats for a lunchable isn't watching their money carefully.

 

[CTPDMom]

I want to chime in as a parent of a college student.

A $20 a week allowance, with no details as to what that should be used for, isn't necessarily a red flag for anything. I don't give my student an allowance, per se, but since they have a full meal plan, all clothes/toiletries/necessities purchased by me (or with my credit card they are an authorized user of and have a card with their name on it) and their housing/utilities covered, they don't need much. If I were going to give an allowance, I don't think $20 is out of the realm of reasonable in my situation, and if my child wanted/needed more they can work (which they do) and they could save up the $20 allowance and not have 'extras' for a couple weeks in order to afford whatever it is they wanted.

I have financial POA, and my name is on my student's accounts. They're linked one way to mine so I can easily move cash in and out. When it's time to pay car insurance, or reimbursement me for something I purchased at their request (a want, not a necessity) I will move money only after we've had the discussion. I don't pay attention to what's in their account or what they're spending on, it's not a control thing it's a convenience one. And my child has never asked for it to be otherwise, and if they did we could certainly have that discussion. OR they could open a new account in their name only and that's totally at their discretion. They are happy with the current setup.

My student is on my 'find my'. They know they are, they have control over turning it off, I don't stalk them on it or use it in a negative way.

I am so far from a controlling parent. I can't say anything at all about THIS family, but I can say that these things do not automatically mean a parent is controlling.

 

[iamshadow21]

I'm not sure where the $20 a week came from, but anyone who has the ability to call UberEats for a lunchable isn't watching their money carefully.

Back on the threads, it says it was on Nancy Grace, which I can't watch because I'm not in the US, but maybe you can.

 

[aggiekel2005]

Yeah, but with only $20 a week, there's no way he could have afforded to buy new shoes. Presumably he'd have to call up and ask for the money if he needed them. So if he really had no other revenue stream, they'd likely know that the shoes he had were the shoes he had when he left home.

MOO

Or gotten shoes as a gift from someone he was involved with, or even just from a friend who either no longer wanted them, had a pair that didn't fit etc. I mean, I have several outfits I never purchased but were given to me (but I'm also a woman so I don't know if that would matter)

 

[Universecalling]

There is no way I would know how many pairs of shoes my college student owned, or if any were missing.

You would if you were buying them and keeping track. :/
(Not being snarky at you, just kinda adding to the discussion above leaning towards some possible controlling behaviors).

 

[Universecalling]

I want to chime in as a parent of a college student.

A $20 a week allowance, with no details as to what that should be used for, isn't necessarily a red flag for anything. I don't give my student an allowance, per se, but since they have a full meal plan, all clothes/toiletries/necessities purchased by me (or with my credit card they are an authorized user of and have a card with their name on it) and their housing/utilities covered, they don't need much. If I were going to give an allowance, I don't think $20 is out of the realm of reasonable in my situation, and if my child wanted/needed more they can work (which they do) and they could save up the $20 allowance and not have 'extras' for a couple weeks in order to afford whatever it is they wanted.

I have financial POA, and my name is on my student's accounts. They're linked one way to mine so I can easily move cash in and out. When it's time to pay car insurance, or reimbursement me for something I purchased at their request (a want, not a necessity) I will move money only after we've had the discussion. I don't pay attention to what's in their account or what they're spending on, it's not a control thing it's a convenience one. And my child has never asked for it to be otherwise, and if they did we could certainly have that discussion. OR they could open a new account in their name only and that's totally at their discretion. They are happy with the current setup.

My student is on my 'find my'. They know they are, they have control over turning it off, I don't stalk them on it or use it in a negative way.

I am so far from a controlling parent. I can't say anything at all about THIS family, but I can say that these things do not automatically mean a parent is controlling.

You seem like a great, well balanced parent. Everything in moderation.
The key difference here is you saying “if my child wanted/needed more, they can work”.
I’m not positive CH had that option or autonomy to make that decision.

 

[CuriousCricket]

I'm not sure where the $20 a week came from, but anyone who has the ability to call UberEats for a lunchable isn't watching their money carefully.

Exactly. And apparently with Dad's approval. In addition, he's from a family that can post a $50,000 reward. Perhaps grandparents, uncles, aunts, and others have the wherewithal to provide nice Birthday and Christmas gifts in the form of money.

 

[CuriousCricket]

To be fair, it would be awfully nice if the Life360 app was currently able to track where CH is. This seems like the exact scenario in which a parent would want to be able to know where their (any-aged) child is, right?

Exactly. I wonder that more parents don't give (or hide in certain clothing) some other tracking devices. However, I'll bet CH wasn't wearing anything on that evening/morning that he wore often enough to make it feasible for an air tag.

 

[iamshadow21]

Exactly. I wonder that more parents don't give (or hide in certain clothing) some other tracking devices. However, I'll bet CH wasn't wearing anything on that evening/morning that he wore often enough to make it feasible for an air tag.

It's one thing to do that for very minor children or disabled or infirm adults, such as those with dementia, who are at risk of eloping, wandering off, or abduction.

Doing it to a legal adult without consent is, IMO, stalking. Whatever the intention.

MOO

 

[slowpoke]

I'm not sure where the $20 a week came from, but anyone who has the ability to call UberEats for a lunchable isn't watching their money carefully.

I agree that ordering Lunchables for delivery, which comes with an added fee (I presume), is not being frugal. He could just slap together a ham and cheese sandwich at home if he wanted to be economical.

Also, he fishes and hunts, and has his own kayak. All the gear and supplies that go with these outdoor sports can be costly.

MOO: That’s why I think maybe his parents willingly pay for many things for their son (within reason, I am sure), and Caleb didn’t worry about budgeting. Maybe they did because he had a real talent for his outdoor sports, and it would fit in with the career choice he was planning (I forget what it was, but wasn’t it a park ranger, or something like that?)

MOO: It could be possible Caleb had his own bank account with birthday and Christmas money that was not monitored by his parents. At least, in my family, my kids had it that way. My kids used that for purchasing some things on their own, but we as parents paid for what we viewed as the necessities such as rent, tuition, books and some groceries.

It did seem surprising the parents would be so sure of all the footwear he owned, that all was accounted for. He never ever bought anything on his own?

 

[fuqred]

I'm from the UK so I'm unsure of how American universities work, but here in the UK you are allowed a set amount of student loan per year. Is this the same in the USA?

If so, was he taking out some money from the university loan to be able to pay for anything else he needed on top of that $20 from his dad's shared bank account? This could explain how he got by money wise, without having a secret job or whatever some people think.

 

[marloweclover]

FYI if you don't use these services, to show how NOT frugal this would be: a single Lunchable for me via DoorDash (similar pricing structure as UberEats, similar location off a college campus):

$2.29 base price
$9.00 after taxes and fees
$2.00 suggested tip
$11.00 total.

 

[Universecalling]

FYI if you don't use these services, to show how NOT frugal this would be: a single Lunchable for me via DoorDash (similar pricing structure as UberEats, similar location off a college campus):

$2.29 base price
$9.00 after taxes and fees
$2.00 suggested tip
$11.00 total.

Exactly. Now add another lunchable, a Red Bull, and someone even mentioned a pie (probably a hand pie).

 

[Universecalling]

I'm from the UK so I'm unsure of how American universities work, but here in the UK you are allowed a set amount of student loan per year. Is this the same in the USA?

If so, was he taking out some money from the university loan to be able to pay for anything else he needed on top of that $20 from his dad's shared bank account? This could explain how he got by money wise, without having a secret job or whatever some people think.

I think his parents paid for his incidentals, and living expenses to allow him to concentrate on school and not have to work.
That was out of the joint account.
He then was given $20/wk play money.

 

[Deleted member 341670]

I think his parents paid for his incidentals, and living expenses to allow him to concentrate on school and not have to work.
That was out of the joint account.
He then was given $20/wk play money.

Exactly. They paid for everything. Opinion: I assume the $20 is for play which is fair if your parents are paying for 100% of everything. I could easily see him getting bait to go fishing with it, or buying something fishing related since thats his hobby.
(wonders to self why I didn't have parents like this )

 

[SMK777]

(wonders to self why I didn't have parents like this )

Me, too.

 

[Marie A]

Exactly. And apparently with Dad's approval. In addition, he's from a family that can post a $50,000 reward. Perhaps grandparents, uncles, aunts, and others have the wherewithal to provide nice Birthday and Christmas gifts in the form of money.

IMHO
His family posted the $50k reward based on donations to their two different accounts- both crowd funded by friends and strangers.

https://www..com/f/help-find-caleb-harris

at $66,439 of $100k goal

https://www..com/f/please-help-us-bring-caleb-harris-home

at $24,194 of $50k goal

 

[Sundog]

FACT: Digital crime expert was on Nancy Grace and he said the family had 360 app which is a great family app? (look up the first Nancy Grace interview to hear what was said)

FACT: ALife360 account allows people in your family's "circle" to keep track of each other's locations in real-time, send alerts or messages, keep track of each other's driving data. (look up Alife360 to get full details of the app and what it can do) https://www.life360.com/

FACT: Your child is 21 and a Junior in college and has a family app locator on it! (Look up interview to hear parents and digital crime expert say this)

FACT: Your child shares a bank account with dad to check all your spending habits and is allotted $20 a week to do whatever you want to do with it. (Check the Nancy Grace interview, this is said by the dad)

FACT: Your dad is saying in an interview “your not in trouble, come home, fight, remember the scripture you know that scripture!” (This is one of the first interviews the mom and dad gave together and the dad cried after saying this) Texas A&M Student Steps Out Barefoot for Uber Eats Order, VANISHES: Where is Caleb Harris?

OPINION: Guys! This young man has had these encounters before (OPINION), the parents know, the parents have religiously counseled him (OPINION), and before we release you to college we are going to control the money and your location (OPINION).

FINAL OPINION: To each his own Im ok with whatever you and your parents decide, BUT this does give us a glimpse into the way the household is run. And it’s clear the parents felt at 21 CH needed to have the locator on his phoen. The boy turned that phone off (OPINION)! It didn’t die (OPINION)! This all makes sense. (OPINION)

I see no reason to suspect the family of over-controlling Caleb. They are a close, loving family and take care of one another. It was very generous of his parents to make the sacrifices of paying for all of CB's costs while at college and making sure that he didn't have to work to survive.

WIth regard to the statement of the father regarding "Fight, Fight" and focusing on scripture, I think it could well be that the father is referring to scriptural passages with regard to fighting evil and that would help Caleb if he is in a situation where he is being held against his will and needs to find the strength to get out of there. I don't agree with your speculation about what scriptural source the father is referring to, and I don't see the family as over-controlling either.

JMO.