Misty C. #2

debs · Mar 15, 2009

passionflower said:
We studied KC and others as a sociopath, liar etc...........
Now we should look close at Misty, plus bring in molestation (IF IT HAPPENED)
and being on her own since she was 14?
any shrinks here???

Misty isn't a sociopath. The sexual abuse isn't alleged; a man is serving time in prison for having molested her. She states that her cousin (the one who was there visiting) also molested her. She has been living virtually on her own since she was 14. She has relationships with older men. She has now married her latest "older man" for reasons as yet really clear, but most agree that because they "truly love one another" is not among the reasons.

Misty's life has been one of victimization. She was preyed upon by adults in her life, and even family members around her own age. She was devalued early on. Her survival technique has been to transform the commodity that predators wanted from her (her body) into her only asset. She looks for "love" and finds quickly that it really is just about being a throw-away again and again. I would bet that before she met Ron, she'd had quite a few throw away relationships. Ron would look like a hero to her and any verbal abuse we've witnessed will hardly register in someone whose value has been so reduced already.

She does not like competition and would more than likely be aggressive to protect what she sees as her own. She smokes (a sign that she's tough). She is street smart and book dumb. There are rules in her life that the rest of us thankfully don't typically know. Sex isn't a problem, it's a pattern. People got what they wanted off her body for years, she's in control now and gives it (though it ends up still to older men who in the eyes of the law would be committing a crime). Her family support is not that of a protective mother and father. Her mother is more than happy to sign over her daughter to Ron and Misty views this as a loving act. Misty gets her man and her mother gets rid of a responsibility she never stepped up to anyway. How it is that Misty convinced Ron that this was the time to get married is beyond me, but she certainly had EVERYONE'S support (at least in the family): TN, her own mother, GGMA. Her recently very sick father even walked her down the aisle. Maybe Ron really IS the hero and was rescuing Misty from a family that was so happy to throw her to anyone and he figures at least with him her life will be a little more stable. I'll hope that's what it is. But.

As to whether Misty had anything to do with Haleigh's disappearance, I can only come up with one angle for a motive: competition. Haleigh is no doubt at about the age when Misty's own molestation began. We all see how much Ron loves his daughter (no, I am not implying he was molesting his daughter; far from it.) and how much she loves him too. No one denies that Haleigh was the center of his universe. Well, with Misty's background, there really is no room for sharing that, and especially with someone that close to HER only "protector."

Could she have arranged to give Haleigh off to one of the predators she knows in order to have Ron to herself, figuring she survived it and so will Haleigh? That's a sick but very real possibility but one that cannot be dismissed. Misty is a survivor, that is for sure. But surviving is not living, and being a victim is no way of life. She IS a victim of molestation, and I doubt very sincerely she has ever dealt with it, instead taking it as a natural course of events. We can see she has no problem now that she's in control of her life in putting herself into relationships where she can be victimized again. Now she's got her man, she could think she no longer has to be the victim, and in order to assure that, someone else has to be.

All this is speculation. The only facts are that Misty is a throwaway teenager who has been on her own for 3 years, who moved in with a man with two children (maybe 3) whose own parents signed off on her life legally so she could marry this man, whose early victimization resulted in at least one arrest for her rapist, but certainly doesn't address others. She is a victim of incest (she says her cousin did things to her). There appears to have never been any counseling to show her that she has a value as a person beyond her body. She lost any innocence or belief in "older men don't go after young girls" and firmly demonstrates that because older men DO go after her that it means she's got something women the men's age don't. When Misty talks about Haleigh wanting to be "just like her" and going so far as to say they got similar outfits, shoes, wanted to do their hair the same way, I get a distinct queasy feeling in my stomach. What else could Misty think is okay to teach Haleigh then in order to be just like her.

Anyway that's my armchair analysis, neither in depth nor with any credentials. I am not making any allegations that any of this is fact (beyond what I have stated specifically as being so). However, I am also not attempting to start a rumor. Patterns of human sexual molestation are pervasive in our society and the victims OFTEN become a victimizer, viewing it in a way that "normal" people wouldn't: I survived, so will they. It is simple and it gives them some legitimization that what they went through is "normal and okay" when in fact, it is not.

Survivors and victims are not all like this and many many many many overcome their own abuse and go on to not only change their lives for the better but become advocates for children. They are to be heralded and supported. But there are those who perpetuate the abuse, and this possibility should at least be explored. That is not to say it is what happened in this case.

SeriouslySearching · Mar 15, 2009

MADJGNLAW said:
I keep wondering why have we not seen as much about this case? I recall in the Anthony case they were releasing information left and right. I think the cell records and the pings are important .

The Sunshine Law doesn't go into effect until charges have been filed or SWs etc. come up. This is the reason we are not seeing any information released as it is all "ongoing" investigative work right now. Each LE agency tends to work cases differently on what they deem important to tell the public or media. There is no requirement for them to share any information until such a time it is filed with the county into record.

debs · Mar 15, 2009

MADJGNLAW said:
:liar: 17-year-old cousin??? Who is now married to Ron. Hmm. Must be the first story Misty told LE. She was a cousin. In every lie there is a bit of truth.

Quote:
http://www.news4jax.com/news/18680086/detail.html#-
Channel 4 learned that a 2-year-old and a 17-year-old cousin were sleeping in the same bedroom as Haleigh. They are both safe and detectives said the teenager had no information about what happened to Haleigh. Haleigh's mother, who lives in south Georgia, went to Satsuma on Tuesday and was cooperating in the search.

I read that too. I wondered how it went from "our daughter" to "a 17 year old cousin...."

Leaps of logic and poor reporting combine to make a twisted tale.

Shaymus at The Rock · Mar 15, 2009

MADJGNLAW said:
I keep wondering why have we not seen as much about this case? I recall in the Anthony case they were releasing information left and right. I think the cell records and the pings are important .

It's because no one has been charged. The records are released as part of "discovery" for an impending trial. Once someone has been charged, a defender appointed or announced and a trial in the planning, we'll see some documents.

Jholi · Mar 15, 2009

debs said:
Misty isn't a sociopath. The sexual abuse isn't alleged; a man is serving time in prison for having molested her. She states that her cousin (the one who was there visiting) also molested her. She has been living virtually on her own since she was 14. She has relationships with older men. She has now married her latest "older man" for reasons as yet really clear, but most agree that because they "truly love one another" is not among the reasons.

Misty's life has been one of victimization. She was preyed upon by adults in her life, and even family members around her own age. She was devalued early on. Her survival technique has been to transform the commodity that predators wanted from her (her body) into her only asset. She looks for "love" and finds quickly that it really is just about being a throw-away again and again. I would bet that before she met Ron, she'd had quite a few throw away relationships. Ron would look like a hero to her and any verbal abuse we've witnessed will hardly register in someone whose value has been so reduced already.

She does not like competition and would more than likely be aggressive to protect what she sees as her own. She smokes (a sign that she's tough). She is street smart and book dumb. There are rules in her life that the rest of us thankfully don't typically know. Sex isn't a problem, it's a pattern. People got what they wanted off her body for years, she's in control now and gives it (though it ends up still to older men who in the eyes of the law would be committing a crime). Her family support is not that of a protective mother and father. Her mother is more than happy to sign over her daughter to Ron and Misty views this as a loving act. Misty gets her man and her mother gets rid of a responsibility she never stepped up to anyway. How it is that Misty convinced Ron that this was the time to get married is beyond me, but she certainly had EVERYONE'S support (at least in the family): TN, her own mother, GGMA. Her recently very sick father even walked her down the aisle. Maybe Ron really IS the hero and was rescuing Misty from a family that was so happy to throw her to anyone and he figures at least with him her life will be a little more stable. I'll hope that's what it is. But.

As to whether Misty had anything to do with Haleigh's disappearance, I can only come up with one angle for a motive: competition. Haleigh is no doubt at about the age when Misty's own molestation began. We all see how much Ron loves his daughter (no, I am not implying he was molesting his daughter; far from it.) and how much she loves him too. No one denies that Haleigh was the center of his universe. Well, with Misty's background, there really is no room for sharing that, and especially with someone that close to HER only "protector."

Could she have arranged to give Haleigh off to one of the predators she knows in order to have Ron to herself, figuring she survived it and so will Haleigh? That's a sick but very real possibility but one that cannot be dismissed. Misty is a survivor, that is for sure. But surviving is not living, and being a victim is no way of life. She IS a victim of molestation, and I doubt very sincerely she has ever dealt with it, instead taking it as a natural course of events. We can see she has no problem now that she's in control of her life in putting herself into relationships where she can be victimized again. Now she's got her man, she could think she no longer has to be the victim, and in order to assure that, someone else has to be.

All this is speculation. The only facts are that Misty is a throwaway teenager who has been on her own for 3 years, who moved in with a man with two children (maybe 3) whose own parents signed off on her life legally so she could marry this man, whose early victimization resulted in at least one arrest for her rapist, but certainly doesn't address others. She is a victim of incest (she says her cousin did things to her). There appears to have never been any counseling to show her that she has a value as a person beyond her body. She lost any innocence or belief in "older men don't go after young girls" and firmly demonstrates that because older men DO go after her that it means she's got something women the men's age don't. When Misty talks about Haleigh wanting to be "just like her" and going so far as to say they got similar outfits, shoes, wanted to do their hair the same way, I get a distinct queasy feeling in my stomach. What else could Misty think is okay to teach Haleigh then in order to be just like her.

Anyway that's my armchair analysis, neither in depth nor with any credentials. I am not making any allegations that any of this is fact (beyond what I have stated specifically as being so). However, I am also not attempting to start a rumor. Patterns of human sexual molestation are pervasive in our society and the victims OFTEN become a victimizer, viewing it in a way that "normal" people wouldn't: I survived, so will they. It is simple and it gives them some legitimization that what they went through is "normal and okay" when in fact, it is not.

Survivors and victims are not all like this and many many many many overcome their own abuse and go on to not only change their lives for the better but become advocates for children. They are to be heralded and supported. But there are those who perpetuate the abuse, and this possibility should at least be explored. That is not to say it is what happened in this case.

Outstanding summary, Debs. Quoting it all because it's all so worth repeating.

nomoresorrow · Mar 15, 2009

debs said:
Misty isn't a sociopath. The sexual abuse isn't alleged; a man is serving time in prison for having molested her. She states that her cousin (the one who was there visiting) also molested her. She has been living virtually on her own since she was 14. She has relationships with older men. She has now married her latest "older man" for reasons as yet really clear, but most agree that because they "truly love one another" is not among the reasons.

Misty's life has been one of victimization. She was preyed upon by adults in her life, and even family members around her own age. She was devalued early on. Her survival technique has been to transform the commodity that predators wanted from her (her body) into her only asset. She looks for "love" and finds quickly that it really is just about being a throw-away again and again. I would bet that before she met Ron, she'd had quite a few throw away relationships. Ron would look like a hero to her and any verbal abuse we've witnessed will hardly register in someone whose value has been so reduced already.

She does not like competition and would more than likely be aggressive to protect what she sees as her own. She smokes (a sign that she's tough). She is street smart and book dumb. There are rules in her life that the rest of us thankfully don't typically know. Sex isn't a problem, it's a pattern. People got what they wanted off her body for years, she's in control now and gives it (though it ends up still to older men who in the eyes of the law would be committing a crime). Her family support is not that of a protective mother and father. Her mother is more than happy to sign over her daughter to Ron and Misty views this as a loving act. Misty gets her man and her mother gets rid of a responsibility she never stepped up to anyway. How it is that Misty convinced Ron that this was the time to get married is beyond me, but she certainly had EVERYONE'S support (at least in the family): TN, her own mother, GGMA. Her recently very sick father even walked her down the aisle. Maybe Ron really IS the hero and was rescuing Misty from a family that was so happy to throw her to anyone and he figures at least with him her life will be a little more stable. I'll hope that's what it is. But.

As to whether Misty had anything to do with Haleigh's disappearance, I can only come up with one angle for a motive: competition. Haleigh is no doubt at about the age when Misty's own molestation began. We all see how much Ron loves his daughter (no, I am not implying he was molesting his daughter; far from it.) and how much she loves him too. No one denies that Haleigh was the center of his universe. Well, with Misty's background, there really is no room for sharing that, and especially with someone that close to HER only "protector."

Could she have arranged to give Haleigh off to one of the predators she knows in order to have Ron to herself, figuring she survived it and so will Haleigh? That's a sick but very real possibility but one that cannot be dismissed. Misty is a survivor, that is for sure. But surviving is not living, and being a victim is no way of life. She IS a victim of molestation, and I doubt very sincerely she has ever dealt with it, instead taking it as a natural course of events. We can see she has no problem now that she's in control of her life in putting herself into relationships where she can be victimized again. Now she's got her man, she could think she no longer has to be the victim, and in order to assure that, someone else has to be.

All this is speculation. The only facts are that Misty is a throwaway teenager who has been on her own for 3 years, who moved in with a man with two children (maybe 3) whose own parents signed off on her life legally so she could marry this man, whose early victimization resulted in at least one arrest for her rapist, but certainly doesn't address others. She is a victim of incest (she says her cousin did things to her). There appears to have never been any counseling to show her that she has a value as a person beyond her body. She lost any innocence or belief in "older men don't go after young girls" and firmly demonstrates that because older men DO go after her that it means she's got something women the men's age don't. When Misty talks about Haleigh wanting to be "just like her" and going so far as to say they got similar outfits, shoes, wanted to do their hair the same way, I get a distinct queasy feeling in my stomach. What else could Misty think is okay to teach Haleigh then in order to be just like her.

Anyway that's my armchair analysis, neither in depth nor with any credentials. I am not making any allegations that any of this is fact (beyond what I have stated specifically as being so). However, I am also not attempting to start a rumor. Patterns of human sexual molestation are pervasive in our society and the victims OFTEN become a victimizer, viewing it in a way that "normal" people wouldn't: I survived, so will they. It is simple and it gives them some legitimization that what they went through is "normal and okay" when in fact, it is not.

Survivors and victims are not all like this and many many many many overcome their own abuse and go on to not only change their lives for the better but become advocates for children. They are to be heralded and supported. But there are those who perpetuate the abuse, and this possibility should at least be explored. That is not to say it is what happened in this case.

Debs I found that very insightful, thank you! I am a survivor myself but it is so true that many victims (especially females) who haven't acknowledged their abuse or sought help in order to deal with all of the extenuating issues that result from it oftentimes grow up to have children and actually put them in harms way - in situations that are similar if not identical to their own childhood abuse occurrances, and are completely ignorant of it due to their own detachment. When I have had the opportunity to speak with mothers whom I have seen this pattern in I ask them this question, "If you know that "it" happened to you in that situation, why would it be any different for your child?" Generally they aren't even able to provide an answer because the detachment prevents them from making the connection - it's very sad. MOO

Kat · Mar 15, 2009

=debs;3461445]Misty isn't a sociopath. The sexual abuse isn't alleged; a man is serving time in prison for having molested her. (snip>

Misty's life has been one of victimization. She was preyed upon by adults in her life, and even family members around her own age. She was devalued early on. Her survival technique has been to transform the commodity that predators wanted from her (her body) into her only asset. <snip>

She does not like competition and would more than likely be aggressive to protect what she sees as her own. She smokes (a sign that she's tough). She is street smart and book dumb. There are rules in her life that the rest of us thankfully don't typically know.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Snipped for space, underlined and bolded by me respectfully~

Very well said Debs. I agree she's not a sociopath. She may have other issues going on but that's not one of them. (I agree so that's why I underlined that part).

Now we come to the part where I bolded part of your eloquent statement.

Speaking from personal experiences without divulging my own history in to much detail, yes~ her survival technique would be to use her body and her sexuality as not only a survival technique but also as either a weapon or a tool to exact what she wants from a relationship.

It could be her way of maintaining control of not only her life but situations~ using the only asset she thinks she has, it can be a very effective tool if the men are chosen carefully. If she is using this technique (which I do believe she could very well be) she would chose a man that had something to offer her.

Was she looking for a sense of security? Was she seeking a home to call her own? Was she looking for a man that has a job or will go get one if she can persuade him to do so?

What type of man does it take? One that thinks with his other head to put it very bluntly. A man that can be manipulated and doesn't realize he's being manipulated because he is looking for confrontations and manipulation---that would slip right past him.

It could very well be that this survival technique was adopted as a very young teen or earlier. But you are right. Those are the rules of survival that most do not understand by the Grace of God.

Now for the last statement I bolded. Yes, she would be very aggressive towards anyone that she perceived as a threat to her goal.

If all of this is accurate, I can almost bet that she isnt' cognizant of the feelings or motivations. They are in her sub-conscious. It takes a lot of work, personal introspection, and sometimes professional therapy to get past those survival skills and I'm not sure that a young lady of her age has enough/or any of those.

Click to expand...

Kat · Mar 15, 2009

To clarify...the above post is why I say she's not the naive, unintelligent (other than not having book smarts), sweet home grown pure as the driven snow victim that she presents to us through the media and quite possibly to the other family members. She was a victim, yes, but even victims can victimize others when it is a matter of survival in their own minds.

I still am not convinced she did something to Haleigh, but only time will tell exactly what has happened.

lonetraveler · Mar 15, 2009

Kat said:
To clarify...the above post is why I say she's not the naive, unintelligent (other than not having book smarts), sweet home grown pure as the driven snow victim that she presents to us through the media and quite possibly to the other family members. She was a victim, yes, but even victims can victimize others when it is a matter of survival in their own minds.

I still am not convinced she did something to Haleigh, but only time will tell exactly what has happened.

---
IMO, she is as cunning as a feral cat.

JaneInOz · Mar 15, 2009

MADJGNLAW said:
:liar: 17-year-old cousin??? Who is now married to Ron. Hmm. Must be the first story Misty told LE. She was a cousin. In every lie there is a bit of truth.

Quote:
http://www.news4jax.com/news/18680086/detail.html#-
Channel 4 learned that a 2-year-old and a 17-year-old cousin were sleeping in the same bedroom as Haleigh. They are both safe and detectives said the teenager had no information about what happened to Haleigh. Haleigh's mother, who lives in south Georgia, went to Satsuma on Tuesday and was cooperating in the search.

That article is full of blah!

While deputies and state officers from at least five agencies searched the area and the nearby St. Johns River, Haleigh's grieving father told Channel 4 there is no doubt in his mind that she was abducted and he'll do anything to get her back.

Grieving Father ? You dont normally GRIEVE for something or someone unless they are dead

SeriouslySearching · Mar 15, 2009

That isn't true at all!! When you have a missing child, you do grieve very much!! You grieve because they aren't with you where you know they are safe. You have every feeling of the loss mixed with anxiety, frustration, anger, and other emotions attached to it. It is tremendously painful not to know what happened, where your child is, or what is taking place (are they hurt, cold, etc.?) which compounds the loss. Grieving is expected and certainly part of feeling the helplessness.

To say a person doesn't grieve unless there is a death is very wrong, imo.

Kat · Mar 15, 2009

lonetraveler said:
---
IMO, she is as cunning as a feral cat.

Indeed lonetraveler, insightful analogy add to that the other one that comes to mind---stupid like a fox.

azwriter · Mar 15, 2009

Shaymus at The Rock said:
I'm glad we're starting to ask questions about JR. There were no sounds from JR on the 911 call. If he had been awake and in the midst of the screaming, etc, I think we would've heard crying, whimpering, even an occasional "Hush, JR" or two. But nothing. How did a little guy sleep through the frantic search, MC says she conducted and then the screaming and hollaring when his father got home ? Where was JR ? How'd they keep him quiet through that ? Had both children been drugged ? Was TN there when the 911 call was made and she had JR in her arms or car ?

Great questions that I would love to have answered.

redheadedgal · Mar 15, 2009

SiberianSleuth said:
I wasn’t hip to the show Lie to Me until last night/this morning. So needless to say I spent my morning watching all the episodes they had available on fox.com. Anyway, in episode 3 “A Perfect Score” about 5:50 into the show they do a split screen of the judge character and Susan Smith. I cannot stop thinking about the similarities I see between this SS clip and the early ones with Misty.

i have been searching for video of susan smith to compare her actions/emotion/appearance with misty's since this case broke... with no luck. i got all excited reading your post and hearing about this show and quickly went to fox.com and loaded episode 3 and ... "we're sorry... only US viewers can watch video at fox.com"... :banghead::banghead:

Kat · Mar 15, 2009

Just a few thoughts about the S. Smith and the simularities that some have said that they have seen in MC. None that are exact but for some reason there are quite a few posters that have had S. Smith and others of her ilk come to mind when viewing MC.

No MC isn't as horrid in behavior as S. Smith but there is an age difference between her and MC.

My curiosity lies in that if we could get into a time machine and go back and look at S. Smith at the age of 17 what would her behavior had been and how closely would it then resemble MC. Just a thought that floated through my mind reading all the posts.

MADJGNLAW · Mar 15, 2009

After reading this article "IMO" someone didn't pass their poly. I also notice they are focusing on an earlier time for Haleigh's disappearance.

Investigation into Haleigh’s disappearance focusing on Misty’s timeline
March 15, 1:18 PM
Capt. Dick Schauland said, “What happened during that eight-hour period from 7 p.m. to 3 a.m. when she found the child missing and what occurred during that time is what [investigators] are trying to straighten out.”

“I would not list Misty as a suspect. We just want to get the timeline straightened out. Our most important thing is finding Haleigh… And Misty is the key to that,” said Capt. Schauland.

Capt. Schauland would not specifically comment on the Cummings’ polygraph tests, but said people who take them are not “normally told whether they pass or didn’t pass.”

http://www.examiner.com/x-1168-Crim...ghs-disappearance-focusing-on-Mistys-timeline

kiki the parrot · Mar 15, 2009

debs said:
Misty isn't a sociopath. The sexual abuse isn't alleged; a man is serving time in prison for having molested her. She states that her cousin (the one who was there visiting) also molested her. She has been living virtually on her own since she was 14. She has relationships with older men. She has now married her latest "older man" for reasons as yet really clear, but most agree that because they "truly love one another" is not among the reasons.

Misty's life has been one of victimization. She was preyed upon by adults in her life, and even family members around her own age. She was devalued early on. Her survival technique has been to transform the commodity that predators wanted from her (her body) into her only asset. She looks for "love" and finds quickly that it really is just about being a throw-away again and again. I would bet that before she met Ron, she'd had quite a few throw away relationships. Ron would look like a hero to her and any verbal abuse we've witnessed will hardly register in someone whose value has been so reduced already.

She does not like competition and would more than likely be aggressive to protect what she sees as her own. She smokes (a sign that she's tough). She is street smart and book dumb. There are rules in her life that the rest of us thankfully don't typically know. Sex isn't a problem, it's a pattern. People got what they wanted off her body for years, she's in control now and gives it (though it ends up still to older men who in the eyes of the law would be committing a crime). Her family support is not that of a protective mother and father. Her mother is more than happy to sign over her daughter to Ron and Misty views this as a loving act. Misty gets her man and her mother gets rid of a responsibility she never stepped up to anyway. How it is that Misty convinced Ron that this was the time to get married is beyond me, but she certainly had EVERYONE'S support (at least in the family): TN, her own mother, GGMA. Her recently very sick father even walked her down the aisle. Maybe Ron really IS the hero and was rescuing Misty from a family that was so happy to throw her to anyone and he figures at least with him her life will be a little more stable. I'll hope that's what it is. But.

As to whether Misty had anything to do with Haleigh's disappearance, I can only come up with one angle for a motive: competition. Haleigh is no doubt at about the age when Misty's own molestation began. We all see how much Ron loves his daughter (no, I am not implying he was molesting his daughter; far from it.) and how much she loves him too. No one denies that Haleigh was the center of his universe. Well, with Misty's background, there really is no room for sharing that, and especially with someone that close to HER only "protector."

Could she have arranged to give Haleigh off to one of the predators she knows in order to have Ron to herself, figuring she survived it and so will Haleigh? That's a sick but very real possibility but one that cannot be dismissed. Misty is a survivor, that is for sure. But surviving is not living, and being a victim is no way of life. She IS a victim of molestation, and I doubt very sincerely she has ever dealt with it, instead taking it as a natural course of events. We can see she has no problem now that she's in control of her life in putting herself into relationships where she can be victimized again. Now she's got her man, she could think she no longer has to be the victim, and in order to assure that, someone else has to be.

All this is speculation. The only facts are that Misty is a throwaway teenager who has been on her own for 3 years, who moved in with a man with two children (maybe 3) whose own parents signed off on her life legally so she could marry this man, whose early victimization resulted in at least one arrest for her rapist, but certainly doesn't address others. She is a victim of incest (she says her cousin did things to her). There appears to have never been any counseling to show her that she has a value as a person beyond her body. She lost any innocence or belief in "older men don't go after young girls" and firmly demonstrates that because older men DO go after her that it means she's got something women the men's age don't. When Misty talks about Haleigh wanting to be "just like her" and going so far as to say they got similar outfits, shoes, wanted to do their hair the same way, I get a distinct queasy feeling in my stomach. What else could Misty think is okay to teach Haleigh then in order to be just like her.

Anyway that's my armchair analysis, neither in depth nor with any credentials. I am not making any allegations that any of this is fact (beyond what I have stated specifically as being so). However, I am also not attempting to start a rumor. Patterns of human sexual molestation are pervasive in our society and the victims OFTEN become a victimizer, viewing it in a way that "normal" people wouldn't: I survived, so will they. It is simple and it gives them some legitimization that what they went through is "normal and okay" when in fact, it is not.

Survivors and victims are not all like this and many many many many overcome their own abuse and go on to not only change their lives for the better but become advocates for children. They are to be heralded and supported. But there are those who perpetuate the abuse, and this possibility should at least be explored. That is not to say it is what happened in this case.

Thanks debs for your insights. I couldn't bring myself to snip a single word, and was gonna bold the whole dismal thing and say "Agree w bolded," but after only now considering things from quite this angle, there were one (or two) points where you had my neck hairs standing on end which need to be set apart. I have no real expertise in the areas of sexual abuse or incest but I do think it's possible someone w Misty's history could perceive any other object of her man's affections as a threat. I do believe she would feel intensely competitive and that as a child herself w such damaged self-worth and self-esteem she would have had problems sharing dad's attentions. And the part about Misty's need to introduce or indoctrinate her young protege, her little lookalike, to emulate other possible behaviors was where the hairs stood on end...

I do believe for those reasons she may have resented Haleigh or could have wished to eliminate her as a competitor but I also think there is more than one way to achieve that goal, which wouldn't necessarily require deliberately handing off Haleigh. Having dejavu here but once again I'm reminded how people, and especially deeply troubled or disturbed people, are complex and operate on more than one level. She may well have resented Haleigh on a number of counts. For the full-time caretaking responsibility at such a young age herself. For interfering w her freedom and former lifestyle, when her peers and crowd she'd hung out w were still drinking and drugging. And while Junior may not have remembered living w Mom and could so easily have accepted her as his new surrogate mother, perhaps Haleigh was not as quick to call her "Mommy." And for the longtime bond Haleigh shared w, and the hold she had over, daddy, and the obstacle she may have quickly come to represent to their otherwise idealized "perfect future together."

As we've learned tho in so many cases involving children under a certain age, inadequate supervision and poor priorities alone can have tragic, even deadly consequences. And as we have seen illustrated over and over in so many examples her ends also could have been easily accomplished on another, less conscious, more passive level had she simply failed to consider her wellbeing or to adequately supervise or had she recklessly endangered the child in her care. Propping the childen in front of the tv w a couple videos early that eve (figuring "they'll be asleep soon") so she could get on w her night; inviting the wrong people over to the home at some point, giving away too much info; becoming too high, intoxicated or careless to notice who was noticing Haleigh, which door was locked, or what the risk factors were to Haleigh or Junior, all leaves my head reeling w the invitations to disaster. At those ages, all we need do is not care enough.

I posted a while back that dad was basically faced w two choices in this case. He could either go to the wall w his underage gf and her version of events; or he could admit that by entrusting his children to this girl he had made a terrible, possibly fatal error in judgment. But he'd gotten himself between a rock and a hard spot and who knows what other leverage his underage gf may have held over dad by then. No wonder he didn't seem all that thrilled about marrying her, it gives a whole new meaning to "shotgun wedding." If that's the case it's still hard to imagine dad could just swallow hard, suck it up and get "over it" to that extent. JMO

arrot:

JaneInOz · Mar 15, 2009

SeriouslySearching said:
That isn't true at all!! When you have a missing child, you do grieve very much!! You grieve because they aren't with you where you know they are safe. You have every feeling of the loss mixed with anxiety, frustration, anger, and other emotions attached to it. It is tremendously painful not to know what happened, where your child is, or what is taking place (are they hurt, cold, etc.?) which compounds the loss. Grieving is expected and certainly part of feeling the helplessness.

To say a person doesn't grieve unless there is a death is very wrong, imo.

I just think Grieving was not an appropriate word for that article
She had been only gone that day.

kiki the parrot · Mar 15, 2009

JaneInOz said:
I just think Grieving was not an appropriate word for that article
She had been only gone that day.

Agree. Grieving entails letting go of our loved one. And there are parents who have been missing children for YEARS who have never yet given up hope of finding or seeing their child or loved one again--whom they may miss, but are still believing for a miracle and therefore not without hope or in actual mourning or grieving. JMO

arrot:

pirate · Mar 15, 2009

JaneInOz said:
I just think Grieving was not an appropriate word for that article
She had been only gone that day.

I'm with you on that Jane. There was a great deal of drama and histrionics from Ron and Misty in the first days- in contrast to Crystal who just seemed shellshocked and numb. The dichotomy was startling to me and I think that's why I believed in Crystal initially.

She didn't seem to be performing or acting out a scene from a movie. She was just frozen- didn't seem intent on proving anything or scoring any points with the public.

It's hard to explain how those differences affected my opinion but it did.

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