CW
Former Member
Today, 03:14 PM
aprilshowers
Registered User Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 38
My Experience With Borderline Disorder: LONG
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I believe I feel safe enough to post
I thought I'd post in a few separate posts, because one with all the information I want to share, would be very LONG.
So here's just a little background, and I'll continue in my next post.
I'll start out by sharing what I've learned from studying and my psychologist and therapist, about 'borderline personality disorder', which I'll abbreviate as BPD.
This has also been my own PERSONAL experience as well.
Not ALL times, but many many times, BPD is brought on by 'Emotional Incest'
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Emotional Incest:
Emotional incest occurs when a child feels responsible for a parents emotional well-being. This happens because the parents do not know how to have healthy boundaries. It can occur with one or both parents, same sex or opposite sex. It occurs because the parents are emotionally dishonest with themselves and cannot get their emotional needs met by their spouse or other adults. John Bradshaw refers to this dynamic as a parent making the child their "surrogate spouse.
This type of abuse can happen in a variety of ways. On one end of the spectrum the parent emotionally "dumps" on the child. This occurs when a parent talks about adult issues and feelings to a child as if they were a peer. Sometimes both parents will dump on a child in a way that puts the child in the middle of disagreements between the parents - with each complaining about the other.
On the other end of the spectrum is the family where no one talks about their feelings. In this case, though no one is talking about feelings, there are still emotional undercurrents present in the family which the child senses and feels some responsibility for - even if they haven't got a clue as to what the tension, anger, fear, or hurt are all about.
Emotional incest from either parent is devastating to the child's ability to be able to set boundaries and take care of getting their own needs met when they become an adult. This type of abuse, when inflicted by the opposite sex parent, can have a devastating effect on the adult/child's relationship with his/her own sexuality and gender, and their ability to have successful intimate relationships as an adult.
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Continued in next post.
aprilshowers
Registered User Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 38
My Experience With Borderline Disorder: LONG
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I believe I feel safe enough to post
I thought I'd post in a few separate posts, because one with all the information I want to share, would be very LONG.
So here's just a little background, and I'll continue in my next post.
I'll start out by sharing what I've learned from studying and my psychologist and therapist, about 'borderline personality disorder', which I'll abbreviate as BPD.
This has also been my own PERSONAL experience as well.
Not ALL times, but many many times, BPD is brought on by 'Emotional Incest'
------------------------------------------------------------------
Emotional Incest:
Emotional incest occurs when a child feels responsible for a parents emotional well-being. This happens because the parents do not know how to have healthy boundaries. It can occur with one or both parents, same sex or opposite sex. It occurs because the parents are emotionally dishonest with themselves and cannot get their emotional needs met by their spouse or other adults. John Bradshaw refers to this dynamic as a parent making the child their "surrogate spouse.
This type of abuse can happen in a variety of ways. On one end of the spectrum the parent emotionally "dumps" on the child. This occurs when a parent talks about adult issues and feelings to a child as if they were a peer. Sometimes both parents will dump on a child in a way that puts the child in the middle of disagreements between the parents - with each complaining about the other.
On the other end of the spectrum is the family where no one talks about their feelings. In this case, though no one is talking about feelings, there are still emotional undercurrents present in the family which the child senses and feels some responsibility for - even if they haven't got a clue as to what the tension, anger, fear, or hurt are all about.
Emotional incest from either parent is devastating to the child's ability to be able to set boundaries and take care of getting their own needs met when they become an adult. This type of abuse, when inflicted by the opposite sex parent, can have a devastating effect on the adult/child's relationship with his/her own sexuality and gender, and their ability to have successful intimate relationships as an adult.
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Continued in next post.