13yr old has won right to die

[Funny Face]

Hear. Hear BlackWatch.
I'm almost 60 and have some every stong thoughts about end of lfe care. Fortunately my best friend, who is a RN, has the right to made medical decisions for me when I need an advocate or can no longer make decisions for myself. We have talked long and hard and came up with a list of do's and don'ts. We took it to a lawyer to document my desires. She did draw up a document and told me that depending on where I live, the medical comminity and the government, there was no guaretee that my wishes would be carried out.

That just burns me that I cannot decide about my own life's end.

 

[Linda7NJ]

I think (after doing lots of research) the right decision was made. I think it's a personal family matter and child protective services has no business even considering removing the child from her parents.

BUT

I would never hand my 13 year old CHILD the keys to my car, never allow him to quit school, move out, get married ...or anything else I felt wasn't in his best interest. That's a parents job. Life and death decisions shouldn't be allowed to be made by 12 & 13 yr olds.

I would consider my child's thoughts and feelings on the subject, but *I* would make the final decision. I do not think the government should have a say at all. Let alone threatening to remove her from her family!

 

[Logger]

I heard this story Friday on my way home from work and thought to myself how intelligent, brave, and insightful this girl is. If she were my child, I would respect her wishes and support that she wants quality of life in the end to be around family at home. To force her into an operation which she has studied and knows the stats on would be inhumane treatment, imo. Everyone who has questioned her feels she is aware of the risks and has come to this conclusion with full understanding.

DITTO-!! A heart transplant is not a walk in the park. Also they often do not
survive the first year. Must me on multi-drugs the rest of their life.

Love her and let her go.

 

[Blackwatch]

A bit of personal experience:

My 27-year-old daughter has a VERY rare form of cancer, one that cannot be killed, ie, she will always have cancer somewhere in her body. The doctors in Philadelph and Sloan Kettering have told her they cannot CURE it, but they can MAINTAIN it. That means cutting it out from wherever it shows up next or giving her ANOTHER radiation pill and that treatment percentage goes down after each dosage. In other words she has cancer growing somewhere in her body at all times that does not respond to chemo or radiation, only cutting and the BIG pill.

She told me that she and her husband decided she would refuse treatment, in essence ending her life, when she felt she was becoming too disfigured or it became too painful. She has two small children, 6 and 3, plus a ten-year-old stepdaughter. I was horrified when she said she would refuse treatment at some point. "I" wanted her to live no matter what. "I" said her children needed her and she had to survive, even crippled and maimed, for them. Yet, what right do "I" or anyone else have to force someone into pain they might not be able to endure, into disfigurement? After seriously thinking about her plight, and that of many others, I give her my blessings and prayers that she may live long enough to see her children grow up, but I have no right to wish pain and suffering on her or anyone else.

I guess this case hits home with me in a way. Sorry about the rant.

 

[Greenie]

People need to realize that a transplant of any kind does not mean an excellent quality of life afterwards. My mom was diagnosed with an enlarged heart (cardiomyopathy), laid in a hospital for 4 months without being able to leave the cardiac floor, waiting for a heart. She received her transplant and struggled for another two years with tons of additional problems. She passed away 2 years after her transplant. I hated watching her struggle and fight for life. Her quality of life was no better after the transplant than before. There are no guarantees, but tons of things can go wrong.

I was also diagnosed with cardiomyopathy in 2006 and told I had 2-3 years before a transplant would be required. It's 2 years now and I'm still doing okay and my heart function has actually improved. However, I also made the decision that I did not want a transplant and would live what life I have left with dignity.

I commend this girl for doing what she feels is right with her body. It is nobody else's business IMO what she decides. She's the one going through all the procedures daily and dealing with the pain.

 

[Soulmagent]

Soulmagnet,
I was diagnosed with ALL in 1973. I'm forty-six years old now and have two children (after being told that I probably would never be able to because of the drugs). So, it's possible to have it once and never have a recurrence. I hope that reassures your step-daughter. Believe me my life has been extremely stressful too.

I have mixed emotions about this. When I was diagnosed with ALL I was only 11 years old. While treatment was painful at times (for five years) I didn't want to die. Yeah, I would get depressed and say that I wished I would go ahead and die but I didn't mean it. I'm not sure thirteen is that much more mature than eleven.

I don't know everything the doctor told her; what her life would be like after the heart transplant. I just know that right now I'm glad my parents forced me to have treatment. No matter how horrible or painful it was.

God bless her and I hope she's able to retain the dignity that she seeks right up til the end.

That must of been very scarey at 11. I am often thankful she was so young.She doesnt have the fear about it returning that we do. She doesnt seem a bit stessed out but it has definitly shaped her matter of fact personality. I hope she is as lucky as you Are in never havng a setback and being able to have Children if she so chooses. (althou now she says she doesnt want any )

I think in Hannahs case it has got to be pretty extreme and most people with leukemia never have to make the decissions that this family has had to make. I do not think that most 13 year old are ready for these kind of decissions but she has faced death or the thought of it daily for years which has had to have a huge impact on her .
I asked my kids what they thought of Hannahs story there responces were as follows

Jay my 11 y/o girl said = She shouldnt be able to make that because she is to young and dosnt really get it.
Tee my 10 y/o stepdaughter = I dont know I am only like 10 or 11 years old (see the matter of fact part?)

 

[MistyM]

i hope she is going through counselling for this. i can imagine that after fighting cancer for so long she is jaded and not too thrilled about the thought that a heart transplant would not work. i wonder if this was a different situation where the heart problem just showed up at 12 with no prior illness if she would feel the same way?

 

[GlitchWizard]

A bit of personal experience:

My 27-year-old daughter has a VERY rare form of cancer, one that cannot be killed, ie, she will always have cancer somewhere in her body. The doctors in Philadelph and Sloan Kettering have told her they cannot CURE it, but they can MAINTAIN it. That means cutting it out from wherever it shows up next or giving her ANOTHER radiation pill and that treatment percentage goes down after each dosage. In other words she has cancer growing somewhere in her body at all times that does not respond to chemo or radiation, only cutting and the BIG pill.

She told me that she and her husband decided she would refuse treatment, in essence ending her life, when she felt she was becoming too disfigured or it became too painful. She has two small children, 6 and 3, plus a ten-year-old stepdaughter. I was horrified when she said she would refuse treatment at some point. "I" wanted her to live no matter what. "I" said her children needed her and she had to survive, even crippled and maimed, for them. Yet, what right do "I" or anyone else have to force someone into pain they might not be able to endure, into disfigurement? After seriously thinking about her plight, and that of many others, I give her my blessings and prayers that she may live long enough to see her children grow up, but I have no right to wish pain and suffering on her or anyone else.

I guess this case hits home with me in a way. Sorry about the rant.

Giving her your blessings and your prayers makes her life so much more comfortable, but it's totally natural to feel inside that you actually on some level sometimes don't mean it. Give yourself permission to harbor some feelings that you are not as comfortable with this as she'd believe you are. It's totally understandable. It's wonderful you are strong enough to tell her it's okay.

 

[OneLostGrl]

A bit of personal experience:

My 27-year-old daughter has a VERY rare form of cancer, one that cannot be killed, ie, she will always have cancer somewhere in her body. The doctors in Philadelph and Sloan Kettering have told her they cannot CURE it, but they can MAINTAIN it. That means cutting it out from wherever it shows up next or giving her ANOTHER radiation pill and that treatment percentage goes down after each dosage. In other words she has cancer growing somewhere in her body at all times that does not respond to chemo or radiation, only cutting and the BIG pill.

She told me that she and her husband decided she would refuse treatment, in essence ending her life, when she felt she was becoming too disfigured or it became too painful. She has two small children, 6 and 3, plus a ten-year-old stepdaughter. I was horrified when she said she would refuse treatment at some point. "I" wanted her to live no matter what. "I" said her children needed her and she had to survive, even crippled and maimed, for them. Yet, what right do "I" or anyone else have to force someone into pain they might not be able to endure, into disfigurement? After seriously thinking about her plight, and that of many others, I give her my blessings and prayers that she may live long enough to see her children grow up, but I have no right to wish pain and suffering on her or anyone else.

I guess this case hits home with me in a way. Sorry about the rant.

:hug: