MISSING: 'I know someone knows something'
Kitchener's Dave MacDermott disappeared in November 2002.
WATERLOO REGION
MISSING: 'I know someone knows something'
By Greg MercerRecord Reporter
Fri., Jan. 24, 2014timer7 min. read
updateArticle was updated Apr. 10, 2020
KITCHENER — Dave MacDermott could do a lot of things. Cook life a chef. Fish like a pro. Sing like a star. Play hockey. Work construction. Cut hair. Charm strangers. Break hearts.
But if there's one thing he couldn't do, it was walk out on the people he loved, insist his extended family spread across Waterloo Region.
That's why MacDermott's disappearance more than 11 years ago never sat well with those who knew him best. When the charismatic young man vanished after a night on the town in November 2002, he left a gaping hole in his family and a pile of unanswered questions.
Leaving without a word wasn't Dave, they say. By the time Christmas 2002 rolled around and he hadn't surfaced or called his grandmother, his family knew something was terribly wrong.
"There was no way he'd miss Christmas. Family meant everything to him," said his father, Brian MacDermott. "If he was alive, he would have let somebody know."
MacDermott's case, one of 20 historical missing people files still open with Waterloo Regional Police, is considered suspicious. There are plenty of red flags around his disappearance, but there have never been any arrests.
His body has never been found.
Police interviewed more than 200 people connected to the case, and repeatedly searched the Mill Street house where he was renting a room. His family suspects someone out there is holding onto a secret that could end their pain.
"I know someone knows something, and it's disgusting to me that they haven't come forward," said Stefanie Shaw, one of MacDermott's four sisters.
MacDermott's family hopes that by speaking out now, new information may come forward. Despite all these years and an increasingly cold trail, his mother Linda Shaw said she never stopped believing her son's case would be resolved.
"I have to believe it will be solved. That hope is all I've got," she said.
The Kitchener man, who would now be 41, was last seen on Saturday night, Nov. 9, 2002, out celebrating a friend's birthday at Club Renaissance. He was supposed to pick to up hockey equipment from an ex-girlfriend's house at 3 a.m., but never showed up.
The next morning, when his cousin arrived at his Mill Street home to take him to a ball hockey game, there was no answer at the door.
At first, some thought he was just out on one of his extended fishing trips. But MacDermott did puzzling things for a man who was supposedly on an outdoors getaway.
He never picked up his last paycheque from a local construction firm. His Ford Mustang was found buried in the snow weeks later, parked at an apartment building near his house. His dog was left wandering the neighbourhood and seized by the humane society.
Early on, there was conflicting speculation over why MacDermott might have disappeared. The man he rented a room from claimed to police that MacDermott had gotten himself in some trouble and had to flee suddenly.
Police later ruled out the suggestion that MacDermott owed a large debt to someone. He partied and used drugs recreationally, but wasn't connected to the underworld, they said.
Another theory is that
MacDermott, who lived what police called "a high-risk, alternative lifestyle" and was known to have multiple lovers including some who were married, might have crossed the wrong person.
MacDermott was tall, athletic, charming and made friends easily. He was a joker and mischief maker, too, often getting his family laughing during the delicious dinners he'd cook. His enthusiasm for life was contagious, his father said.
Whatever he might have done to anger someone, his disappearance is an injustice, his family says.
"I don't care what somebody has done. They don't deserve this," said his sister Rhonda MacDermott.
A few days before his disappearance, Rhonda said she saw her brother at a Waterloo corner store. He looked like he'd been beaten up, and there was a big dent in the passenger side front corner of his car, she said.
Later, he appeared at her Waterloo apartment, throwing up blood. He refused to go to the hospital and told her he just needed to rest for a while, she said.
Few people believe MacDermott is still alive. Today, they're just hoping to find his remains. Until that happens, there won't be a funeral or a memorial service.
"I used to feel guilty about that. I would rather have his body and know he was dead than not have any idea what happened to him. I wanted that closure," said his youngest sister, Amanda Shaw, who's pursuing a career in law because of her brother's case.
"But we won't have closure until we know where he is."
Amanda and Stef have now lived more than half their lives without their older brother and are upset over all the big milestones — marriages, graduations — they have to mark without him. They're angry that their brother has been taken from them, and they want justice.
In the months and years after he vanished, the family searched along the Grand River, scoured Algonquin, called hospitals around the province, checked with police countless times, banged on the doors of his friends.
News reports about found remains would cause their hearts to soar, hoping it was him. They provided dental records and blood samples, hoping for a DNA match.
"Every time you hear 'remains were found' your mind races again. 'Could it be?' Then you find out it wasn't him and your heart sinks again," said Brian.
They consulted with psychics, who led them on endless searches through the woods. His mother even offered a $10,000 reward for information, which led nowhere.
The first few years after his disappearance were a blur of dead-end leads, fielding tips that led nowhere, constantly working the telephone, meeting with police, she said.
"This totally consumed me, for a long time. It was all I thought about, all day," Linda said. "My blood pressure went through the roof. It was affecting my health, it was affecting my mind."
In 2008, police received a tip that caused them to reopen MacDermott's case, now believing foul play was the reason for his disappearance. They scoured the house where he was renting a room, re-interviewing dozens of people and questioned many more.
That led to a person of interest, but no arrests.
"We're just missing that one piece of the puzzle. Someone might be holding it and not know it," said Sgt. Richard Dorling, one of the homicide detectives who reopened his case. "We conducted a very thorough investigation with the belief Dave died of suspicious circumstances, if not murder."
Investigators want the public to come forward with any information that might lead to a break in the case. No detail is too small, they say.
"Don't assume the police already know it. If somebody hears a story and they feel it can't be the truth, or it's just hearsay, it's still worth sharing with police," said detective Brian Jessome.
Time helped ease the family's pain somewhat, but unexpected triggers can bring it all back, like a familiar-looking face, an old movie on TV or one of his favourite songs on the radio.
Many in MacDermott's family still scour crowds when they go out in public. Every now and then, they're fooled by false sightings — a common plague for people with missing loved ones.
His sister Colleen Stevens thought she saw MacDermott at a McDonald's drive-through in Milton a few years ago. She was so convinced she called police and had them follow the driver home. It wasn't him.
Seven years ago, Rhonda had was leaving Tim Hortons with a large coffee in her hand when she saw a man she thought was MacDermott in the doorway. She dropped her drink immediately, spilling it everywhere.
He looked just like him. But it wasn't him, couldn't be. She tried to explain to the startled stranger why she was suddenly crying.
"Tears filled up my face and I apologized profusely to this man," she said. "I told him my brother is missing and you look so much like him."
Colleen says she doesn't want revenge for whatever happened, just want an answer. An anonymous phone call, a letter, anything.
"There are ways to be anonymous … It's all we really want. Just tell us where we can find his remains," she said.
As grim as it is, discovery of MacDermott's remains would be a relief. It would finally end years of wondering and give the family a way to memorialize him, Rhonda said.
Until they have that answer, his family say they won't stop looking. They simply can't.
"It's what any family would want … You can hear those words all your want, 'Your brother has been killed,' but it's not reality until you actually see it and have that closure yourself," she said.
Missing
This story continues The Record's series on missing people.
Looking for Tips
If you have information on Dave MacDermott's case, contact Sgt. Richard Dorling at 519-650-8500 ext. 8655, or Crime Stoppers anonymously at 1-800-222-8477.
You can see more pictures and read more about the Waterloo Regional Police's historical missing person files online at wrps.on.ca/missingpersons/all.
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