katydid23
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My oldest two are almost 13 and 11, and they do have laptops, actually. They may only use them in the family room when my husband and I are present. I frequently check their internet history to monitor what they are looking at. It's my JOB to teach them right from wrong and show them the right paths to take. If AS was "addicted" to *advertiser censored* when he was 15 yrs old, he had been viewing it well before then and he was NOT being monitored closely.
I know they will not be perfect children, and will make some mistakes, but a good bit of these mistakes are preventable. I know that it can be done because I have seen it. In myself, in my husband, in my nieces and nephews, and lots of friends' older children. I know they probably exist, but I do not personally know ONE child who have online histories like those we see on WS. Maybe we live sheltered, unexciting lives according the rest of the world, but hey...we like it here.
When I was in the 10th grade, my brother and I were late coming home from the first dance of the year, and we lied about it. My parents quickly divided us, figured out our stories didn't match, and conquered. lol. We were grounded from school activities for the rest of the year. From September to May and they didn't forget. I was never again.... not one time.... late for curfew, which was midnight until the day I got moved out at 21. I learned my lesson. I've never been drunk.. to this very day....because my parents had a zero tolerance for alcohol. Never snuck out. Was I perfect? Of course not, but I knew my parents meant business and it kept me in line. Too many parents are just worried about their kid "liking" them or they are too wrapped up in their own drama filled lives to care what's going on.
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I hear what you're saying. And the world is made up of different points of view for a reason. I think it is admirable and noble that you are so accountable and responsible as a parent. I wish everyone was.
But we all have different ways of trying to do so. For example, I would not want to ground my kid for an entire school year for coming home late and lying. I think it might be a bit of an over reaction, but then again, as you pointed out, it never happened again, so it is a trade off. But I think kids make mistakes and they need the chance to try again and do better. I wouldn't want my kid to wait a whole year to try it again. :smile: :wink:
Anyway there is no right/wrong in this discussion. It is just a matter of doing the best we can. Mine are now 24 and 20 and it cracks me up what they remember about my DH and I trying to discipline and teach them. lol
But they are delightful at this point in their lives, so in spite of our inadequacies, they thrived.