Found Deceased CO - Natalie Bollinger, 19, Broomfield, 28 Dec 2017 #1 *Arrest*

[Cocokitty]

Probably. I'd be mad if it were me, but if I was being a creepy stalker, then at the same time - I maybe should have just left the poor girl alone when she asked in the first place.

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Have any of you guys read the fb messager between natalie and ss? It shows and explains a lot about their friendship amd even showed that yes natalie did invite him to va she even says she wouldn't hold it against him if he be couldn't make it. Also she speaks about her family not veru accepting. When you read them you get the feeling her family force them to stop having a friendship it seems like. But natalie speaks about how ss didnt scare and she when she wanted to kill herself she reach out to ss needing a friend , says her family wont like their relationship and not very accpeting of differnt. Talking about how they was sleeping outside and her sister had been drugged and ss took care of them to make sure nothing happened to them, keeping them safe. She even let him draw a " bad *advertiser censored* dragon on shoulder and thought she was in love " word by word what she said.

 

[Strangeworld]

Have any of you guys read the fb messager between natalie and ss? It shows and explains a lot about their friendship amd even showed that yes natalie did invite him to va she even says she wouldn't hold it against him if he be couldn't make it. Also she speaks about her family not veru accepting. When you read them you get the feeling her family force them to stop having a friendship it seems like. But natalie speaks about how ss didnt scare and she when she wanted to kill herself she reach out to ss needing a friend , says her family wont like their relationship and not very accpeting of differnt. Talking about how they was sleeping outside and her sister had been drugged and ss took care of them to make sure nothing happened to them, keeping them safe. She even let him draw a " bad *advertiser censored* dragon on shoulder and thought she was in love " word by word what she said.

And then she changed her mind about him because of his behaviour. Stalking is not uncommon where the person knows the other...either as a friend or intimately. Their previous interactions are irrelevant in terms of defining the stalking behaviour he engaged in.

 

[theides]

And then she changed her mind about him because of his behaviour. Stalking is not uncommon where the person knows the other...either as a friend or intimately. Their previous interactions are irrelevant in terms of defining the stalking behaviour he engaged in.

Yeah, I have no doubt that they had some sort of friendship beforehand. I've read those messages. She confided a lot in him. Clearly at some point they were close, but IMO none of that matters after the point in time that she explicitly told him she no longer wanted contact with him, and he proceeded to continue to harass her in scary manipulative ways.

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[Tippy Lynn]

Adams County officer fatally shot.

I’m sorry if I offend anyone by saying this.....Adams County is dangerous and I wouldn’t want to live there.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/01/2...anhunt-underway-for-suspects-reports-say.html


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[bleuboy]

Regarding Asperger's Syndrome, in the latest version of the DSM, the formerly-separate diagnosis of Asperger's was rolled in with all Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD).

One of the key symptoms of ASD are "Special Interests." In fact, it's not just a symptom, it's part of the diagnostic criteria. Here is some good information on the subject:

http://aspiewriter.com/2015/07/autism-and-special-interests.html

Many special interests are harmless: trains, computers, Korean boy bands, etc. But an autistic person can make a special interest out of a person, and that can lead to stalking behaviors.

Also, SS appears to exhibit a textbook case of Borderline Personality Disorder. I urge you to read the following article:

https://organizationalchangesolutio...-borderline-personality-what-could-have-been/

Excerpts (sorry for the length):

"The danger felt by the person with Borderline Personality Disorder motivated by neurotic fear of being found out and facing possible rejection or abandonment, stems from disordered emotional processing and cognition. As a result, the very idea of someone exposing the reality of borderline behavior is a trigger that evokes fear of exposure along with the subsequent fear of abandonment. Consequently, the potential of facing this stress triggers the core issue, the fear of abandonment, isolation, and public exposure to the truth resulting in Borderline Rage."

What could be more abandoning than a Protection Order, the involvement of police, and the inevitable arrest for violation of the Protection Order?

"The behavior following demonstrates an intense feeling of rejection, pain, along with outbursts of anger. Then, neurotic fear triggers defensive mechanisms that try to regain control. Borderline Personality mentalization attempts to paint the world and perception of others with a skewed mental perception of the meaning of life events and others by convincingly re-spinning reality to those around them in a way that matches their own. Resisting this point of view acts as a trigger of behavior sometimes observed bringing borderline rage, acting out, as well as, acting in behaviors from emotional dysregulation resulting from the perceived threats.

"If you are the person who understands the deception and the personality disorder patterns and you decide to challenge the dysregulating behavior patterns, be prepared to become the focused object of rage motivated by irrational belief that you pose a threat for abandonment, social isolation, and rejection. Understand that rage is directed at you because of disordered thinking from BPD in a very personal way that is an attempts to destroy you and disable your voice, to speak credibility to everyone she/he can influence. Something to remember is that in the case of a borderline, the loss of control coupled with the fear of abandonment triggers a heightened level of stress that is unmanageable, which results in unmanageable emotional state that dysregulates. Therefore, emotions, such as panic, heightened compulsivity, and attention-seeking behaviors, result from inability to regulate emotional states. Consequently, a common experience for many BPD’s occurs along with dysregulation and splitting occurs. Then, what was once all good has suddenly become all bad.

"This symptomatic pattern from BPD’s threatened with a feeling of lack of control, or being found out, is the manifestation of anger toward the object of their irrational fear. The irrational fear that BPD mentalization and assignment of meaning causes produces a mental mythology that you are all bad because you do not affirm the skewed beliefs of the world as the borderline views it through their thinking. In the distorted reasoning of a dysregulated Borderline, the identifier endangers their ability to maintain a feeling of control, which in turn triggers emotional dysregulation under the stress. Then, comes the anger, rage, passive aggressive anger focused by the internalized threat upon the person who knows about them and who may expose the undiscovered BPD. Therefore, before assuming responsibility for the rage, pain, and dysfunction, remembers that this is not your fault, it is the product of biological and environmental experiences from Borderline Personality Disorder.

"To understand this more, the behavior pattern of the borderline demonstrates intense fear of being discovered is rooted in an irrational belief that she/he will be abandoned if people really understand who they are and others will stigmatize them, abandon them, and ultimately reject them. The behavior commonly presents the BPD as a wounded child on one side. Among others, behavior can demonstrate acts of striking out; outbursts of anger, using innuendo, accusation that vilifies person perceived to threaten the borderlines need control reality. Meanwhile, the drama is painting a picture of their own victimization by others or events that surround them. Consequently, the picture painted is the image of a wounded child and their innocence in every situation in contrasts with villainizing those who do not comply with the distorted reality constructed BPD perception. As a result, borderline’s are capable of extreme behaviors when they irrational thing results in dysregulated emotions. Typically, Borderlines surround themselves with people, who are largely undiscerning, unaware, many times co-dependent, and capable of easily being influenced by the characterological traits of Borderline Personality Disorder.

"If you are not willing to join the company of the borderline enablers and participate in their plan, then you should expect your life to become very difficult. Borderline behavior toward individuals they cannot manipulate or control often characteristically demonstrates rage, distorted reason, and skewed perception fueled by a firmly held belief that this behavior is justified, correct, and you deserve intense cruel actions. It is because in the skewed perception of the Borderline you are just being mean and viscous to the wounded, innocent child who is actually a suffering saint. At the same time, the wounded child has a sense of entitlement to behave as they do no matter how bad, nor matter the consequences for others, no matter who they damage. There is no sense of functional pro-social behavior and much like typical anti-social behavior, the BPD insists on being supported and given what they want most. What they want to feel most is that they are in control of those around them so they will not be abandoned. As a result, in the thought process of the Borderline they are so, very innocent, never responsible, and do not deserve this treatment.

"A characterological feature of BPD is no middle ground. The cognitive behavioral perspective is characterized by “splitting”: everything and everyone is either “all good or all bad”. Obviously, for the BPD, having the inability to regulate emotions under stress causes the dysregulation of emotional responses into extremes, anxiety, and intense behavior. For instance, “I hate you, please don’t leave me” is a statement that expresses the extremes of a borderline splitting in a dysregulated emotional state. For the unwitting relative, partner, victim, it is a psychological double-bind that is emotionally confusing and traps them in a no win situation, where there seems to be no escape. Adults who enter into relationships with borderlines many times feel brainwashed, abused, and stay in a state of emotional confusion by the BPD’s accusations, manipulation, and criticisms. This principle stated by Benham says: “The techniques of brainwashing are simple: isolate the victim, expose them to consistent messages, mix with sleep deprivation, add some form of abuse, get the person to doubt what they know and feel, keep them on their toes, wear them down, and stir well.” What a vivid picture of daily life with an unregulated, undiscovered, and untreated Borderline Personality at work spinning reality."

wow that is describing him exactly. Thanks wasn't enough.
The question is, with the rage side of things against the obsessed, would SS be capable or willing to kill NB.
I really think he does need help from a professional.

 

[Lulu22]

Adams County officer fatally shot.

I’m sorry if I offend anyone by saying this.....Adams County is dangerous and I wouldn’t want to live there.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/01/2...anhunt-underway-for-suspects-reports-say.html


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You are simply judging a book by it's cover. Just like any county, city or state: there are good and bad parts. The county is fairly large and covers multiple cities. It just so happens that these two incidents happened in the same county. I live in that county and don't think it's any more dangerous than the next. Let's focus finding justice for the victims.

 

[Tippy Lynn]

You are simply judging a book by it's cover. Just like any county, city or state: there are good and bad parts. The county is fairly large and covers multiple cities. It just so happens that these two incidents happened in the same county. I live in that county and don't think it's any more dangerous than the next. Let's focus finding justice for the victims.

No, I’m not judging a book by its cover. I have family that live near the area and I’ve listened to the Adams County scanner feed enough to know that I wouldn’t want to live there. I’m not saying it’s a bad place, there’s just more crime than I care to live around. JMO

 

[Thinker22]

No, I’m not judging a book by its cover. I have family that live near the area and I’ve listened to the Adams County scanner feed enough to know that I wouldn’t want to live there. I’m not saying it’s a bad place, there’s just more crime than I care to live around. JMO

Would you care to share where in MN you live for comparison?

 

[Tippy Lynn]

Would you care to share where in MN you live for comparison?

I’m a country girl. Our home is on 100 acres of private woods, pond, prairie and trails that we own and the county I live in is in SE MN and has less than 100k, very low crime and not a fair comparison to Adams County.

 

[Cherry]

Make no mistake about it: crime can and does happen everywhere. What astounds me is when a murder occurs people always state the same thing: How could this happen here? Then there is Fargo. Lol, just lightening the mood. xo

 

[mpnola]

Have any of you guys read the fb messager between natalie and ss? It shows and explains a lot about their friendship amd even showed that yes natalie did invite him to va she even says she wouldn't hold it against him if he be couldn't make it. Also she speaks about her family not veru accepting. When you read them you get the feeling her family force them to stop having a friendship it seems like. But natalie speaks about how ss didnt scare and she when she wanted to kill herself she reach out to ss needing a friend , says her family wont like their relationship and not very accpeting of differnt. Talking about how they was sleeping outside and her sister had been drugged and ss took care of them to make sure nothing happened to them, keeping them safe. She even let him draw a " bad *advertiser censored* dragon on shoulder and thought she was in love " word by word what she said.

My ex boyfriend stalked me. The guy I loved, thought I would marry, flew to N. Carolina to see all the time (he was stationed there). Until it became too much. And I needed out. But he didn't want me out. Does that mean that because there were tons of messages of love it made his stalking any less horrible? The court agreed that he was a danger to her. Why should we act like that is not meaningful. I don't care what the relationship once was. It changed and he refused to let her go in peace. He still refuses to let her rest in peace. It's despicable.

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[HamSandwich]

My ex boyfriend stalked me. The guy I loved, thought I would marry, flew to N. Carolina to see all the time (he was stationed there). Until it became too much. And I needed out. But he didn't want me out. Does that mean that because there were tons of messages of love it made his stalking any less horrible? The court agreed that he was a danger to her. Why should we act like that is not meaningful. I don't care what the relationship once was. It changed and he refused to let her go in peace. He still refuses to let her rest in peace. It's despicable.

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HamSandwich Haiku time: in regards to SS

(a) Narcissitic man
so sick of him and his woes
let her rest in peace


(b) To be a martyr
is giving, not receiving
this you have not done


(c) No matter your part
this sweet girl is dead and gone
enough is enough

 

[Strangeworld]

My ex boyfriend stalked me. The guy I loved, thought I would marry, flew to N. Carolina to see all the time (he was stationed there). Until it became too much. And I needed out. But he didn't want me out. Does that mean that because there were tons of messages of love it made his stalking any less horrible? The court agreed that he was a danger to her. Why should we act like that is not meaningful. I don't care what the relationship once was. It changed and he refused to let her go in peace. He still refuses to let her rest in peace. It's despicable.

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mpnola, I'm sorry you had to experience what you did. And I am 100% with you on every comment you made. I think it's hard for people who haven't experienced stalking from a once significant other to understand how the before and after of the relationship can be totally black and white. The context before the stalking is of little meaning to the fear, the frustration, the anger, the anxiety and the total sense of helplessness and lack of control that develops once the stalking starts.

Big hugs!!

 

[mpnola]

mpnola, I'm sorry you had to experience what you did. And I am 100% with you on every comment you made. I think it's hard for people who haven't experienced stalking from a once significant other to understand how the before and after of the relationship can be totally black and white. The context before the stalking is of little meaning to the fear, the frustration, the anger, the anxiety and the total sense of helplessness and lack of control that develops once the stalking starts.

Big hugs!!

Thank you! Scariest thing I ever went through. Still scared of him 14 years later

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[HamSandwich]

Thank you! Scariest thing I ever went through. Still scared of him 14 years later

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For you mpnola:

Forgive me, dear one
I should have said my sorries
for this I have shame

 

[HamSandwich]

Title: For those who asked me privately regarding new posting rules I've given to myself in 3 parts:

Part 1:

Some have been asking
why only Haiku poems?
Difficult to say

Part 2:

Partly for my mouth
some for selfish purposes
mostly for my mouth

Part 3:

Wait, I thought Haikus
were to be about nature?
Are humans not part?

 

[Tippy Lynn]

Title: For those who asked me privately regarding new posting rules I've given to myself in 3 parts:

Part 1:

Some have been asking
why only Haiku poems?
Difficult to say

Part 2:

Partly for my mouth
some for selfish purposes
mostly for my mouth

Part 3:

Wait, I thought Haikus
were to be about nature?
Are humans not part?

I like part 2. I can relate.


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[FindHG]

Stalkers strike me as creatures of habit, control and messed up attachments (can't exactly let go), so where would this one's habit have him take Natalie?

 

[mpnola]

For you mpnola:

Forgive me, dear one
I should have said my sorries
for this I have shame

Oh no sorries are necessary! Thank you for your thoughtfulness <3

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[BRRI]

SS&#8217;s latest posts seem to insinuate that his posting of Natalie discussing her dad is what caused all of this, and seems to point the finger at it making her Dad angry and leading to her death.