GUILTY FL - Chance Walsh, 7 wks, North Port, 7 Oct 2015 #1

[bluesneakers]

Ya know, I can't either.

However, I have to admit that the toddler years took me awfully close to a breaking point. But even when alone with her, I always walked away. I remember shutting myself in my bathroom and sobbing with frustration and despair while she was knocking on the door.

Was that ideal? Nope. Was it the better of two likely outcomes? Yep.

You don't have to be perfect to be a good parent. You just have to make the BETTER choice, and seldom is that the ideal choice.

Knowing when you are overwhelmed and in danger of exploding is so important and I wish there was not such shame attached to saying "OMG, I cannot listen to another minute of screaming" or "I have not slept more than 3 hours a night in 6 months, I cannot care for my child without sleep- please help me!"

I had enough presence to know I was in a bad place and needed a good cry and time to cool down. Not all mothers are so lucky. Many mothers feel ashamed that they need a break, or help, or even just a good cry. If we educated new moms that asking for help is EXCELLENT parenting and not admission of failure, maybe there would be fewer incidents of abuse and even death.

Sorry for the long azz post, but I also need to say that in this case, that horrific "mother" apparently had MANY people willing to help, especially given her history with drug abuse. For God's sake, she could not properly care for her pets! This was not a mom who was doing her best and feeling overwhelmed. This was a mom who chose her grody "man" and her drugs over her defenseless babies.

I know SM is not fact, but just the way she fawned over that icky guy who apparently slept on the couch while she hitched rides to her waitress job, and barely posted about her own BABIES is very telling.

I am all over the place, so I apologize. My heart is just broken and my throat keeps closing up.

I think I was trying to say that I do understand getting angry, but in Chance's case, he was never loved, never a priority, never more than a means to get attention and free stuff. So she could cook elaborate meals for her "awesome man". I want to PUKE.

Please don't think you have to apologize. You're saying what I think a lot of us are thinking, and any of us who have been mothers know. It gets hard and crazy and scary and you do what you can to deal.

Unless you're like these people. UGH. Just. How could they. I'm so sad and angry.

:hug:

 

[EllieBee]

I agree, I am beside myself too.

this 2 year old is very easy for his age, my ds17 is and always has been a difficult kid. never a tantrum thrower but so much energy he NEVER sat still and it exhausted me. he actually is adhd and odd but I didn't know then. I just knew he acted like he was on crack. lol

I did yell at my older boys a little too much, I was too young to have had them. I spanked here and there. but never beat, and they knew I loved the ever loving crap out of them. and I was never afraid to ask my parents for help.

ADHD momma, here too. (((Hugs))) There were days I had to tell her "Okay, mommy's brain cannot hear any more words today. Now it is quiet time!" Not that that worked.

Also her Dad, my ex, traveled for business most of the time, so it was just me. Only me. My in-laws would not help because they said she had "too much energy". I remember crying on the phone one night, saying "but that is why I need help!" (My parents lived 1,000 miles away)

They never helped. It was a huge part of my failed marriage.

Anyway, not to derail this thread, but I wanted to acknowledge that good parents have bad moments. And again, it does not apply to junkie parents who CHOOSE drugs and each other over helpless babies. They just plain suck.

 

[ninij9]

Once when my daughter was 2ish she got me so mad I gave her a light push but she tripped. She didn't even fall all the way and kept on talking to me, so she really didn't notice what I did.
She is 20 now and I am still ashamed of myself for losing my temper that day. Silly, I know, but I am crazy in love with my children.

I don't have the mental ability to understand what these two pieces of garbage did to their own son.

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk

 

[helpful]

ADHD momma, here too. (((Hugs))) There were days I had to tell her "Okay, mommy's brain cannot hear any more words today. Now it is quiet time!" Not that that worked.

My mom used to say, "Mommy's ears are full now."

 

[fizzypop]

Ya know, I can't either.

However, I have to admit that the toddler years took me awfully close to a breaking point. But even when alone with her, I always walked away. I remember shutting myself in my bathroom and sobbing with frustration and despair while she was knocking on the door.

Was that ideal? Nope. Was it the better of two likely outcomes? Yep.

You don't have to be perfect to be a good parent. You just have to make the BETTER choice, and seldom is that the ideal choice.

Knowing when you are overwhelmed and in danger of exploding is so important and I wish there was not such shame attached to saying "OMG, I cannot listen to another minute of screaming" or "I have not slept more than 3 hours a night in 6 months, I cannot care for my child without sleep- please help me!"

I had enough presence to know I was in a bad place and needed a good cry and time to cool down. Not all mothers are so lucky. Many mothers feel ashamed that they need a break, or help, or even just a good cry. If we educated new moms that asking for help is EXCELLENT parenting and not admission of failure, maybe there would be fewer incidents of abuse and even death.

Sorry for the long azz post, but I also need to say that in this case, that horrific "mother" apparently had MANY people willing to help, especially given her history with drug abuse. For God's sake, she could not properly care for her pets! This was not a mom who was doing her best and feeling overwhelmed. This was a mom who chose her grody "man" and her drugs over her defenseless babies.

I know SM is not fact, but just the way she fawned over that icky guy who apparently slept on the couch while she hitched rides to her waitress job, and barely posted about her own BABIES is very telling.

I am all over the place, so I apologize. My heart is just broken and my throat keeps closing up.

I think I was trying to say that I do understand getting angry, but in Chance's case, he was never loved, never a priority, never more than a means to get attention and free stuff. So she could cook elaborate meals for her "awesome man". I want to PUKE.

I appreciate your whole post but the part I bolded is what really gets me. And the fact that she seems to have been too stubborn to just ask for help and admit she couldn't handle the baby. It's not like she was fooling anyone that she had her life together I imagine, despite her apparent posts insisting the opposite on FB. SMH. It's really really frustrating for me because I've had a total hysterectomy before I could ever have kids, and these people don't understand what a gift they have. To be so blessed and continue to live making horrible choices culminating in burying a beautiful baby like that is just something I will never ever understand.

 

[AmyPond]

I know I shouldn't be thinking this because what's done is done and nothing will change it - but I keep thinking about that missed opportunity on Sep 9th when the grandparents knew there was obviously something wrong, but Kristen refused to open the door. I wonder how different things would have turned out if authorities had done a welfare check that day - and possibly been there in time to rescue him before he passed. Oh, how I wish it had happened that way instead! I am so upset about what this poor infant went through in his last moments or hours.

For the first time in the many cases I've followed here, I have to step away from this one for the time being. This case has upset me terribly.

I think that Chance was already dead on September 9th and that's why the grandparents weren't let into the house.

 

[EllieBee]

My mom used to say, "Mommy's ears are full now."

Again, not to derail Chance's thread, but I think it is SO important for mothers to share their less-than-proud moments. So much harm can come from not being able to admit we ain't all perfect, and perpetuating the myth that "good moms" never get angry or curl up in a fetal position or eat bright orange mac and cheese out of the pot while crying.

Chance and Duane, while losers to a pair of junkie parents, might have been saved if druggie KB (does anyone else find it macabre that her name is "Bury"?) or druggie JW could have admitted "I can't do this. I would rather have sex and party and post pics of my cute fake spouse so a baby is in the way"

Okay, i promise I will let it go. But I really want to scream "WHYYYYYY?"

 

[Ontario Mom]

I guess it's partly due to reading SO many of these cases, but I almost never cry over them. This sweet little guy is one of the exceptions. I just want to hold him and swaddle him and kiss his sweet little face and tell him no one can hurt him. I'm so sorry baby Chance. :heartbeat:

I'll be praying for swift justice for those wicked monsters that did this.

 

[borndem]

I just think that only the two of them (KB and JW) knew where Chance was, so one of them had to be the tipster. I only hope that the one that talked does not walk.

Well, if one of the two were the tipster, s/he was there. S/he could have stopped it and didn't. Just like the driver of the getaway car. I don't see a light sentence happening unless they tell a sad, sad story. They have, I assume, been in separate quarters while in the SC jail, so maybe they won't be able to corroborate/make up a Big Fat Lie easily. And would they be smart enuff? So far, their alibis have been pretty rickety. Meth mouth of a different sort...

Let's hope.

 

[borndem]

Did they exhume Duane's little body? Someone in an article had claimed a 'botched' Circumcision done at 2 weeks..........did these 2 idiots do it themselves?

I had the same thought, but not the gutz to say it. My very first thought.

 

[borndem]

I think the families have been told much more than we have at this point - <modsnip> it says to me that either the POSs confessed to the violence or it was immediately apparent on Chance's little body when he was discovered.

Let's hope the families don't clam up -- I hope they've already said things they can't now un-say. And I wondered about how his little body (skull, perhaps -- please excuse) looked when they first saw little Chance -- when the Sheriff was trying to talk. What horror may he have seen?

 

[fizzypop]

How on earth could someone be violent to a tiny little baby like that? I just don't understand. That should never happen.

 

[borndem]

I know I shouldn't be thinking this because what's done is done and nothing will change it - but I keep thinking about that missed opportunity on Sep 9th when the grandparents knew there was obviously something wrong, but Kristen refused to open the door. I wonder how different things would have turned out if authorities had done a welfare check that day - and possibly been there in time to rescue him before he passed. Oh, how I wish it had happened that way instead! I am so upset about what this poor infant went through in his last moments or hours.

For the first time in the many cases I've followed here, I have to step away from this one for the time being. This case has upset me terribly.

Bless your tender heart, C-Gal. We will miss your fine posts and bright mind -- you are still a witness for Chance and we will all give him that. And all the babies we have met only after they were missing or already gone. SMH.

We will feel you with us. :grouphug:

 

[helpful]

Okay, i promise I will let it go. But I really want to scream "WHYYYYYY?"

I decided a long time ago I never want to understand "why". I don't think my soul could take it. It's like when Nietzsche cautions against looking too long into the abyss.

 

[Minou]

This case is terribly sad..
It was painfully obvious from the beginning what beheld poor Chances fate.
He was just a small baby, so sweet, so helpless. Just weeks old.
I have no sympathy for these two.
I understand mental illness but I cannot, will not excuse this pure evil.
I may not be the best upstanding citizen in the world.... but I would never, ever harm a baby, person, animal, plant.
What-have-you, willingly, even if I was doped out of my mind. I could never ever ever harm another life.
Even if I had a gun to my head, I would do the right thing.
I save freaking spiders in my house, and worms from drying up in the sun.
Life is precious.

These people (sperm donors) have stooped below the moral code of what it means to be an earthling.

Bless the LEO that are working on this case. They have my full respect.

/rant


*this is kinda dramatic but you get the gist*

 

[Lmustang89]

Heartbreaking I had to take a break from this case. Read up on Jon Benet - more details than I realized.

I just don't get it. I have lived through crap with my narcississtic mother (married my mother over and over and over) Finally found a good counselor with my last marriage failure -she said you married your mother over and over. Married at 18, first son at 19, 2nd one at 21 (from first marriage). I was yelling at my boys and calling them names when they were toddlers like I was yelled at etc. Went to see a counselor to break the cycle and I did. They are both great adults with professional careers and college grads. I said I would never treat them like I was treated growing up. I worked 50-60 hrs, volunteered as a coach on their teams etc. Youngest son is 13 (had invitro to have him after tubes tied in late 20s) with my 2nd and 4th husband (married him twice -he changed - NO HE didn't) - he is a narcissistic bully. My youngest had colic for 3 mos -I called the hospital several times for advice but never thought to hurt him. Had to go back to work after 6 wks and deal with crying and little sleep while trying to work. He has ADHD, short term memory, perceptual reasoning skills issues, very impulsive, high anxiety. On meds. Divorced his dad 2.5 yrs ago. Finally found a great counselor. I felt like such a failure for so many failed marriages. I broke the cycle this time for good. I had no one to support me. I took it upon myself to read about narcissism to deal with the ex and help my son with his dad (he bullies him, yells at him) read about adhd so I could better help my son.
I am so disgusted how people can so easily kill and hurt their children. So heartbreaking. I give my kids 125%, go without, take days off for dr apts etc, volunteer to help the less fortunate once a month. Sorry so long-winded. These cases are such a trigger.

 

[MotherOcean]

R.I.P. Baby Chance! I wish you had been mine. Oh, what I would give to hold you close and take in your little new baby scent and feel your soft new baby skin.

 

[borndem]

I think that Chance was already dead on September 9th and that's why the grandparents weren't let into the house.

Same here.

 

[La Louve]

Oh Baby Chance I am so sorry it came to this. You deserved so much better.

You're in the arms of the angels, with your brother Duane.

May justice come for you soon, sweet baby boy.

[video=youtube;1SiylvmFI_8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SiylvmFI_8[/video]

 

[La Louve]

Saturday will be three years that Whitney Heichel was murdered here in the Portland, Oregon area. I think that's partly why I've been so raw this week. I'm planning on a trip out to Whitney's garden this weekend, to honor and remember her. I'll light an extra candle for Chance.